Just Like a Porcelain Doll

A/N: Fuck it… I'm posting all the chapters as they were… so there. I'll continue where I left off. It was too hard writing it over. I will still keep the first chapter there but consider it as a misplaced drabble if you will.

So here.

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Chapter One… Missing Pieces

Porcelain dolls… How lovely and exquisite they are. Beautiful yet fragile… so easy to break, almost delicate. The very being of a doll like that should be treated with the utmost care. It should be cherished and kept away from harm. Most are placed on the highest shelf of a little girl's room, kept from tiny inquisitive hands. Lately they have been placed as decoration on window sills or above the fireplace with plenty other varieties collected.

Xemnas had a poppet of his own too. His collection only consisted of one— the most beautiful doll of all. It may have sounded very unmanly be he didn't care. He was proud of it. He loved his little porcelain doll. He cherished it, cared for it, loved it. It was his and his alone. His doll wasn't a mere toy or an embellishment of any kind. He loved him… doubtless, even if he couldn't feel. He was a Nobody. But he knew, even with a heart, he would love it just as much as he did so now.

And he knew his doll loved him just the same if not more. And he most certainly knew how beautiful he was. His powder blue mane felt as soft as cotton, with his bangs pushed back making waves of spikes then draping down his back and over his shoulders. His bright yellow eyes glistened like fresh honey from the hive, golden pools that anyone can easily get lost in. Soft, velvet lips the color of light pink. His body firm, strong, and fairly muscled like the perfect man yet skin as delicate as silk and white as snow.

Xemnas wouldn't ever dare harm his beautiful porcelain doll. But like all porcelain dolls, if accidentally dropped, they crack. His doll was once broken before he ever obtained him. His soul was shattered into a million pieces. Pieces so small and sharp they were difficult to put back together. The only visible scar was the X mark in between his eyes. Even if marred before, Xemnas loved him as if he were a brand new figure.

And heaven forbid he ever dropped him!

Xemnas pushed the thought away as he ran naked fingers through blue locks. Saix's eyes slowly opened, tiredly looking up at the other. He smiled softly when their eyes met.

"Hi," he greeted tiredly before Xemnas leaned in and pressed his lips against the other for a short quick kiss.

"Sleep well?" the other man asked, continuing to play with Saix's hair.

He only nodded before snuggling close to the other man, resting his head against Xemnas' chest. He sighed contently as Xemnas wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. Last night the two lovers were in the beginning of their lovemaking. Or at least tried to start their lovemaking. But that was as far as it went. Saix couldn't go any further. They barley even made it to second base. Saix just wasn't used to such intimacy. Xemnas couldn't blame him though, especially with a past like his…

Xemnas knew the younger male wasn't ready but damn he wished he could just take him already! 'If it were only that simple,' Xemnas thought with a sigh.

"Something the matter?" Saix questioned.

"No, it's nothing," he said rather quickly.

"Hm," was Saix's reply, knowing it was a lie. Saix felt so guilty. Last night was just a mess. He tried, he honestly did try so hard. The moment was supposed to be special, but he just freaked out. He panicked. It wasn't fair. Not to him or to Xemnas. This was all he wanted, and Saix couldn't even do just that.

"Still tired?" Xemnas questioned, this time caressing the soft skin on the others arm.

"No, just comfortable," he sighed, tugging lightly at the black shirt Xemnas wore. "If it were only possible, I could stay like this forever."

"If it were only possible," Xemnas repeated before rolling over and hovering above the other. "But soon we will have all the time in the world when we get our hearts back."

Saix looked at Xemnas in confusion. "Are you saying…"

"You thought I was going to leave you?" Xemnas asked with a raise of his brow. "Who knows what might happen after we get our hearts back. But regardless, I know I could never forget what we have. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Saix suddenly grinned as he wrapped his arms around the mans neck.

Xemnas frowned at the reaction, "What?"

"Are you proposing to me?"

Xemnas could only chuckle. "Us? Married? It's a little too early for that, don't you think?"

"Maybe. But it's not like you can get rid of me anyway," Saix said before bringing him down for a quick and innocent kiss. "I'm stuck to you like glue."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Xemnas said lastly before their lips met once more, this time sharing a deep passionate kiss.

Saix instantly melted into the kiss, slowly opening his mouth when he felt Xemnas' tongue slide across his lips. In moments their tongues were soon twined, moving eagerly and hungrily against each other. Saix moaned softly when Xemnas captured his bottom lip before pulling back to break the kiss.

Saix opened his eyes slowly to meet Xemnas' tanned face with a small smile. Saix looked away slightly in guilt, causing the Enigmatic Man to frown considerably in worry.

"What's wrong?"

Saix sighed deeply, not really wanting to ask the question but was dying to know the answer. Could such a simple question be answered just as easily as it was said?

"Why?" Saix asked, looking back at the other. "Why do you put up with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just don't understand. Why are you so good to me? I've given you nothing and yet you still care."

"You've given me a reason to live," Xemnas said as he rested his forehead against Saix's while closing his eyes. "That's more than enough."

Saix closed his eyes as well, sighing deeply. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'll wait for as long as you want me to." Xemnas whispered softly. A sudden realization hit him. His doll was still broken. He was still fractured. The cracks from the previous owner left him feeling vulnerable and frightened. He was still hurting.

Xemnas opened his eyes to stare at Saix and moved his hand to caress his soft yet pale cheek. So perfect and beautiful, simply flawless. The moons soft light that poured into the dark room illuminated his silky skin, only further implying how truly beautiful Saix really was, as if he never were broken. It pained Xemnas to know that his doll was severely damaged once before. And the cracks were still there. Xemnas promised as he placed another kiss on Saix's lips, he'd never let the Luna Diviner break again. His Luna Diviner.

His porcelain doll.