Title: From Here to Serenity
Author: Bastard Snow
Rating: PG-13

Summary: Buffy's fall through Glory's portal took her somewhere nobody had ever imagined. Now, it's up to Willow and Xander to get her back.

Disclaimer: I don't own either of these.

Author's Notes: Much, much thanks to Drake, without whom this story would not exist. Also, obviously, thanks to Joss Whedon for coming up with two universes that have nothing to do with each other. Makes it a challenge to make them have everything to do with each other.

Feedback: Yes, please!

Simon shook his head. "I don't believe that girl is a companion."

"So, what?" Mal asked. "She's just some whore and he's shinin' up a turd?"

"I don't think so," Simon said. "But I couldn't quite… it was odd."

"It was," said Book. "She held herself confidently, but still seemed to look to him for protection. And there was affection there, more than one would expect between a man and a kept woman."

"Guys!" Kaylee said. "There's no need to –"

"Mal!" Wash yelled from the bridge. "You gotta come see this."

Mal got up from his chair and headed down the hall to the bridge. "This better be good. We were having a nice little character discussion."

"I don't know what it is," Wash said, tapping a small display. "We've got a power drain."

Mal looked over Wash's shoulder. "Where's it coming from?"

"That's the thing," Wash said. "I can't pinpoint it. All I can tell is that we're losing power. Not a lot. It's minimal, actually, it shouldn't really affect us at all. But I've never seen anything like it before."

"Wash, check the outgoing band. Might be our new friends recognized the good doctor."

Wash punched a couple of buttons on his console, shaking his head the whole time. "Nothing," he said, after a moment. "No outgoing transmissions, none incoming, either. I originally thought it might be a faulty wire, but it's too steady for that."

"When did it start?" Mal asked.

"Maybe ten minutes after the thing in the kitchen?" Wash said. "That's the first time I noticed it, anyway."

Mal nodded. "That means it's either Jayne, Zoë or our new guests. Everyone else is still in the mess."

"I think we can rule out Zoë," Wash said. "She wouldn't do something like this, not without telling anybody."

"And Jayne ain't exactly what you'd call an engineer."

"Well, I didn't want to be the first to say it," said Wash.

Mal sighed. "I had really hoped new passengers wouldn't be as much trouble as the last ones."

Wash scratched his head in thought. "Well, nobody's been shot, we haven't run afoul of any feds, and as far as we know, neither of them is crazy."

"They're hurting my ship."

"Actually, not really. The draw is really small."

"Okay," Mal said. "I'm gonna go check in on our guests."

Mal headed down to the guest quarters, mentally flipped a coin and knocked on the door on the right side of the hallway.

"Can I help you, Captain?" Willow asked.

Mal smiled, and tried to peer around her. "I'm just checking to see if you have everything you need."

"I do," she said. "Thank you."

"Ah," he said. He was still trying to peer around her.

"Looking for something?" she asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

Mal looked back at her. She seemed a lot more confident now that she was alone.

"It's just, we've got this thing," he said, "where somebody's draining power from the ship."

"Is it dangerous?" Willow asked.

"Not really. More of a nuisance."

"Well, I can't help you," she said, stepping back and allowing him a full view of her room. "As you can see, I've got no wires or anything."

Mal looked at the black, rectangular box that was on her bed. "What's that?" he asked.

She turned to see what he was pointing at. "It's an antique," she said. "It's a data input device that they used to use on Earth That Was. I had it upgraded."

"From Earth That Was?" he asked, his eyes wide. "Lao tian ye! That must have cost a pretty penny."

She smiled. "It was worth it though."

"How do you power that thing?" he asked.

"Like I said, I had it upgraded. It gets its power just like any cortex reader does."

Mal nodded. "All right. Well, just wanted to make sure. You understand."

Willow nodded.

Mal pointed his thumb over his shoulder, across the hall to Xander's room. "He awake?"

Willow shrugged. "So far as I know. He's not drawing off power, though. Wouldn't know how to start."

Mal chuckled and shook his head. "You two don't exactly have the most normal relationship, do you?"

Willow frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's just lots of men with a personal companion try to keep 'em a mite subservient."

Willow smiled. "Xander couldn't do that if he wanted to. He's not built that way."

"Ah," Mal said. "Treats you good?"

"He's my best friend," Willow said. "He treats me like an equal."

"Damnedest thing," Mal said. "All right, thanks."

Mal slid the door shut and turned around. He shook his head again and considered the door before him. Behind that door was a man wealthy enough to have a personal companion, but who wanted to 'get away from it all' in a Firefly. Mal loved his ship, there was no doubt about that, but most of those uppity types would feel dirty just looking at it.

But even more strange was how he acted. He had a companion, a sign of status on any planet, but he didn't keep a tight reign on her. Got her a room of her own, seemed to want to protect her, and had her convinced he treated her equal. And that they were friends. Whatever scam this guy was pulling, he was good at it.

Mal hated him.

But, he had paid, and unless he was actually doing something wrong – like stealing power from the ship – Mal was inclined to let whatever the guy did pass without comment. It would be unprofessional not to. He knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Xander called from the inside.

Mal slid the door open and saw his passenger lying on the bed, reading a book. Whoever this guy was, he sure as hell had some serious money. Books were expensive. That bible little River'd ripped up had probably cost the shepherd's abbey an arm and a torso.

"What're you reading?" Mal asked.

"Snow Crash," said Xander. He set his book down on the bed and sat up. "It's about… language and computers and hydrogen bombs and pizza delivery. Can I help you?"

"Checkin' that you got everything you need. We're a full service transport here on Serenity."

Xander smiled. "I think I'm good, thanks."

"Okay," Mal said. "Say, you wouldn't happen to be stealing power from the ship, would you?"

Xander laughed and shook his head. "No. I leave all the… technology stuff to Willow. She's good at that sort of thing."

"Oh, so you just have her do your menial labor for you? How kind." So much for not commenting.

"Excuse me?" Xander asked.

"No, nothing," Mal said. "That's what women are there for, right?"

Xander stood up to his full height. "Excuse me?" he said again, rather more darkly this time.

"Look, I'm sure whatever arrangement you two have cooked up is, shall we say, mutually beneficial," Mal said patronizingly. He leaned in closer. "But just between us guys, ain't nothin' like puttin' a whore in her place."

The blow came so quickly that Mal never saw it. Didn't, in fact, feel it until he was already on the ground.

"Ow!" he yelled. And yeah, it hurt. But it was more the surprise. Been a while since somebody had gotten the drop on him. Couple of months, at least. He looked up and saw Xander looming over him, looking meaner than Jayne almost ever did. He heard the door behind him slide open.

"Xander!" Willow yelled, looking at Mal rubbing his jaw on the ground and the rage apparent in Xander's eyes.

"I don't know what your problem is," Xander said, not taking his eyes off the captain, "but say something like that again and you and me are gonna have real words."

"Touch him again and you're gonna have real holes," said a hard but feminine voice from the stairs. Mal looked over and saw Zoë with a gun leveled right at Xander. "You all right, Captain?"

"Just fine, Zoë, thanks," said Mal.

"What's going on here?" Willow asked.

"That's what I'd like to know," said Zoë.

"He hit me!" Mal said, pointing to Xander as he stood.

"And what'd you do to provoke him, sir?" she asked.

"Nothing!" said Mal.

"He called Willow a whore," Xander said.

Mal glanced at Willow, who looked distinctly offended.

"Well, ain't she?" asked Zoë.

"No!" yelled Xander and Willow.

"That's right," Mal mocked. "The term is 'companion.'"

Xander and Willow glanced at each other. "Uh," Xander said. "What?"

"Companion." Mal waved his hand at Willow. "You know, the woman you pay to sleep with you?"

Xander and Willow locked eyes for a second, and Xander fell back into his room, laughing. Willow's face had turned beet red.

"I'm missing something," Mal said.

"You ain't the only one." Mal turned and saw Jayne standing at the end of the hallway with an apple in his hand.

"How long you been there?" Mal asked.

"Long enough to see you get laid out by the kid," said Jayne. "Now that's entertainment."

"Captain," Xander said, having returned to the hallway, "I don't pay Will to sleep with me. I don't pay anybody to sleep with me."

"But –" Mal started.

"And anyway," Willow said, having toned down to a bright pink. "He's not my type."

"Who is?" Mal asked.

Willow blushed again, and Xander nodded his head toward Zoë.

"Ohhhhh," Mal said. Zoë holstered her pistol.

"But you called her your companion," Zoë said, walking up to them.

"As in traveling companion," Xander said. "She's my best friend. The only time we sleep together is if we pass out on the couch."

"But you had to know," Mal said defensively. "You called her your companion. What was I supposed to think?"

"Honestly," Willow said, "we um… lived a sheltered life."

"Meanin'?" Jayne asked.

"We didn't know that companion meant… that."

Mal, Zoë and Jayne were silent for a moment.

"So," Mal said to Xander, "when I called her a whore… I wasn't just being crude, I was also wrong?"

Xander nodded.

"Well," Mal said, "sorry for the offense. You throw a good punch."

Zoë laughed.

"What?" Mal asked.

Zoë shrugged. "You deserved it. Inara's gonna love this one."

----------

"Yeah, yeah," Mal said. "Laugh it up."

"I am, can't you tell?" Inara asked, holding her stomach.

Inara was a glamorous young woman who had, apparently, been in her personal shuttle while everybody thought Willow was a whore – and wow had Xander not expected that. Talk about ignorance being bliss.

And now, they were faced with a woman who really was a whore – well, a companion, whatever the distinction was – and neither Xander nor Willow were entirely sure how to react. Mostly.

"Guh," Xander muttered.

Willow leaned closer to him and whispered, "My thoughts exactly."

Xander smiled, but he still wasn't quite used to that. He loved Willow, and fully accepted her lifestyle. He knew Tara was a great girl, and sweet as all get out, and honestly he'd not seen Willow as happy. But jeez, it still weirded him out a little to talk with her about girls. He'd get used to it, of course, and it was kinda hot. But just a little weird.

'A little weird,' Xander thought. 'I'm in a space ship, however-the-hell many years in the future, in another dimension, on a mission to rescue my other best friend from the grips of what appears to be demon-filled world of death. The fact that this even registers is ludicrous. I'm getting way too used to this crap.'

"So," Mal said, turning to Xander, "what are you two, really?"

"Uh," Xander said, "we're best friends."

"Since we were five years old," said Willow. She shrugged. "We like doing things together."

"Right," Mal said, "but what are you?"

"I'm not sure I follow," Willow said, frowning.

"Well, where are you from that you didn't know what a companion was? I mean, it's a kind of a well known thing."

"Uh…"

"I mean," Mal said, "you're goin' to get away from it all, but if you don't know that… can't have been that much to get away from."

Xander glanced at Willow, who shrugged. Xander sighed. "The truth is," Xander said, "that when Willow told her family about her… tendencies... they kind of disowned her. She didn't have anywhere to go. So we uh… borrowed some items, pawned a few, and well, here we are."

Mal turned to Willow. "Your folks gonna be lookin' for you?"

"I doubt it," Willow said.

"Seems like you took some awful expensive stuff," Mal said.

"They can afford it," Xander said. "Trust me."

Mal nodded. "All right," he said. "Well, I'll leave you folks to get acquainted. I've gotta go check on Wash."

Mal left the mess and left Xander, Willow and Inara to 'get acquainted.'

"So," Xander said. "Do, uh… do companions often travel on ships like this?"

Inara smiled at him. "It's not uncommon," she said. "Companions often book passage on cargo ships or transports if they want to relocate."

"You don't seem to be relocating," Willow said.

"No," she said as River danced into the room. "I prefer a more mobile lifestyle. Being able to leave somewhere that's been unfriendly has its advantages."

"But then you can't ever settle down," Xander said. "How do you know where home is?"

Inara looked around them. "Serenity is my home."

Xander was suddenly aware of River standing right next to him, her face mere inches from his. He turned his head slowly so that he was face to face with her.

"Um," he said. "Hi."

River's head came a little closer. Her hand whipped out, and she began petting Xander's head. "She's like a dog left at the pound. Trapped, but wants to go home. You can help her."

"River…" Inara said, rising from her chair.

"It's okay," River whispered. "I won't tell them about the demons."

Inara grasped River softly by the elbow. "Sweetie, does Simon know where you are?" she asked.

"Simon's busy," River said, looking up at Inara.

"Doing what?"

"He's trying to initiate a mating ritual with Kaylee in the lounge."

Xander snorted with laughter. River leaned in closer to Inara and spoke in a stage whisper. "It's not working."

"That's… a shame," said Inara. She was making a valiant attempt to keep a straight face.

"It's his own fault," River said, scrunching her nose up. "He's not doing it right."

Inara turned to Willow and Xander. "If you two will please excuse me, I should attend to River."

Xander nodded, and watched – and noticed Willow watching – as Inara glided away, River walking along beside her.

"Did she say what I thought she said?" Willow asked once the two were out of earshot.

"Did you think she said she wouldn't tell them about the demons?" Xander asked.

"Uh huh."

"Then yeah, she really did."

"How did she know?"

Xander shook his head. "I don't know. What was that stuff about a dog at the pound? Maybe she's a little crazy."

"Yeah," Willow said. "But so were the guys who could see the Key."

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End Chapter 2