Disclaimer: Everything you know from Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Look! I got this up in less than a month! Talk about amazing. Thanks to everyone who is still keeping up with this story. You all are so awesome, especially my reviewers. Thank you so much!

Fallen Lioness

Chapter 9: Speechless

"I don't know how I could let this happen."

"It's not your fault, Professor. You shouldn't blame yourself."

"I should have stopped her, Poppy. I don't know—I don't know why I stood and watched. This should not have happened. I should have done something. I should have done something sooner. How could I have not known Minerva felt so—so—"

"Albus! You couldn't have known. It's a terrible thing that happened, but no one is to blame. You have to realize that."

"But Poppy, I—I—"

They were talking about her. Minerva could hear their voices from her bed in the private ward of the Hospital Wing. They didn't know she was awake. In fact, she hadn't been awake for very long. She didn't know how long she had been a patient or anything that happened since she collapsed. The last thing she recalled was Albus's voice calling out her name. He sounded so worried. He even sounded—scared.

Minerva had only just taken in her surroundings. She felt terrible, as could be expected from drinking so much of that dreadful potion. The normal amount always left her feeling slightly sick afterwards, but this was something a million times worse. She had never felt so physically horrible in her life. Her insides were all messed up and she knew it. Her head was pounding, she could barely move, and her stomach ached miserably. She closed her eyes again. She wasn't ready to face them just yet. She didn't want a lecture or pity. She just continued to listen to their conversation.

"Will she be all right?"

"She should be. I can't be certain, though, Albus. She took over three times the safe dosage."

"Oh, Merlin…"

"We'll just have to wait and see. I've told you this already. Just try to be patient. She should be waking soon."

"What if she doesn't, Poppy? Could she die?"

"Minerva's strong, Albus. She'll be weak for a while, until the potion clears out of her system, but it's not usually lethal. She would have had to take almost twice what she did for it to be particularly deadly."

"But there's a chance?"

Poppy paused before answering.

"Always."

Their silence was grim.

Minerva didn't like hearing them talk like that, especially Albus. He sounded so afraid. She had never heard him sound so anxious. It didn't suit him. He needed to be his usual lighthearted self, the man who brightened the whole room with his infectious chuckle and twinkling blue eyes. Now his gloom, it was contagious, too. His despondency radiated throughout Hospital Wing. Minerva felt awful that she had caused it.

"May I see her?"

"Of course."

Minerva could hear a shuffling of feet and chairs in Poppy's office. She cracked one eye open slightly and saw Albus enter the room. He was a wreck. He had obviously been crying, and he looked as if he might break down at any moment. She shut her eye as he approached. She heard the scraping of a chair against the floor and felt Albus gently clasp her hand. Her heartstrings strained to their limits.

He sobbed. In that instant, he lost control and began to weep. She could hear his unsteady gasps as he blew his nose.

"Minerva… oh, Minerva…" he murmured tremulously, grasping her hands with both of his now. "I'm sorry. This should not have happened. I should have realized something was wrong sooner. I should have paid more attention. I should have spent more time with you. I should have—I should have—" He brought Minerva's hand up to his face, traced her skin delicately, and kissed it. "I'm sorry—please, just wake up, Minerva..." He trailed off and wept onto her knuckles, the tears sliding down her skin.

Minerva opened her eyes and desolately watched him cry. It broke her heart to see him so sad. She never intended to hurt him, and she couldn't believe that she had. She slowly turned her head slightly and softly squeezed his hand to let him know that she was all right.

Albus slowly lifted his face. His puffy blue eyes lit up when he saw Minerva's green, and a smile gradually formed from his lips. Before he could restrain himself, he joyously threw his arms around her.

"Minerva! Minerva, thank goodness you're all right! I was so worried! I thought I might have lost you... Oh, thank Merlin!" he cried in relief as happy tears rolled down his cheeks.

Poppy bustled into the room at the sound of Albus's exclamations. She grinned at the sight. Minerva was awake after the long night, and Albus was overflowing with elation.

"Come now, get up before you crush her," she said.

Albus reluctantly obeyed and resumed his seat.

Poppy came to Minerva's other side and checked her vital signs.

"Good. You're doing much better than you were a few hours ago," she said. "You gave us quite a scare, Min."

Minerva looked away. She didn't want to talk about it just yet.

"Rest now. You need to regain your strength," Poppy said. "I'll be back to check on you in a bit. For now, just take it easy." She gave a reassuring smile and returned to her office, leaving the two of them alone.

They maintained an awkward silence. Minerva didn't know what to say now that Albus knew she was awake. She felt bad. She felt bad about a lot of things. She realized all the mistakes she had made and just wished she could go back and fix them. She felt awful about all the people she hurt, and within herself, she still didn't feel right. She felt terrible that she had done so much as to make Albus scared enough to cry, and she wasn't sure she was worthy of being loved by Albus Dumbledore. Although he had hurt her, she didn't feel justified in making him suffer, too.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?" Albus asked softly.

Minerva just stared.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I…I shouldn't press you. You let me know when you're ready." He took a long, deep breath. "Minerva, I want to apologize. I haven't been as good a friend as I'd like to believe. I didn't realize that something was wrong until it was much too late, and that was a neglect of our friendship on my part. I am sorry it had to come to this. I am sorry if this is my fault."

It was a gentler gaze this time.

"I'm truly sorry, Minerva. I hope you can accept my apology." He breathed again. "I understand if you do not wish to speak with me. I finally do. Just please… I hope you will soon. I was terrified that I had lost you forever, and even though you're not gone, I still feel as if I had lost you. In the past month or so, we've become distant, and we used to have such a close relationship. I want to regain that friendship, Minerva. I am sorry if I've hurt you. I'm sorry… about everything. Please… don't distance yourself. I'm here for you. I want you to know that. If you ever need anything, only say the word and I would be there. I sincerely care about you, Minerva. I couldn't bear to lose you. I… I…" There he trailed off.

Minerva lowered her eyes. It was so much, so fast. She had almost killed herself, and she had only just realized she was alive. She was so lucky. A second chance at life and she didn't know what to do with it. Albus was being so good to her, and she didn't know what to say to him. She was afraid to let herself continue to love him, but she knew she could not stop her heart's desires. She needed to know how he honestly felt, but to ask for that knowledge was forbidden. All of this together overwhelmed her.

"Minerva, you have to let me in. I almost lost you," Albus choked out, ready to sob again. "I want to know why. I know this isn't some meaningless, isolated event. Something is wrong, and I want to help fix what has gone so awry in your life. Please, Minerva. You have got to let me know what is going on."

Minerva could feel her eyes well up again as he shared how scared he felt about her overdose and how hurt he was that she did not confide in him. She wished she didn't have to share why she felt so low. She believed that her feelings were too irrational or too exaggerated to justify what she had done.

"If I've hurt you, I want to make up for it. I'm sorry. You have to understand that. I'm sorry about…about…," he paused and closed his eyes, as if to muster courage. "Minerva, I love you. I truly do. I can't bear to see you hurt."

Glittering tears dripped from Minerva's eyes, and her mouth dropped open. Speechless.

A/N: So um… one chapter left, I suppose. I hope you enjoyed this one.