Author's Note: Thanks a lot for all your reviews, they mean a lot. I won't reply individually though, as what I've really got to say to each and everyone of you is just 'thank you'. So, thank you.

And thanks to beta.

Chapter 7 – Mixed Up Feelings

The last rays of light were disappearing slowly down the horizon and took the last warmth of the day with them. But Lily didn't freeze, for she was wrapped up in his arms. With his strong arms, muscular from all the quidditch he'd played, around her, she leaned her head against his chest and felt his breath on her forehead. Tilting her head slightly backwards, she stared into the hazel eyes of James Potter, who bent down and kissed her carefully on the tip of her nose.

And she awoke with a start.

"Oh crap," she muttered.

It had been so real. She brought her hand up to her face, touching her nose lightly – the nose James had kissed so lightly just seconds before.

"Crap," she said again.

Nowadays, not only did he imbue all of her day – he was in the back of her head from the moment she woke up in the morning to the second she fell asleep late in the evening – but now he had also begun to disturb her sleep. Her precious beauty sleep.

Maybe it's a part of his plan, maybe he's using Legillemency to get to me, Lily mused, but immediately crossed that thought out. Sure, James was an accomplished wizard (well, he certainly would be, had he put more effort into his studies), but she doubted he'd be able to create those dreams. Besides, he wasn't chasing her anymore… was he? He said he wasn't, and he certainly didn't seem to be. He hadn't asked her out one single time the whole year.

But maybe it's all a part of his plan, Lily thought again. Maybe he was pretending to not be interested so that she would be interested.

"Get a grip," Lily muttered to herself. He was a boy, not a girl. Girls could do such things as making complex plans of how to make the boy of their desire fall in love with them, but she had never heard of a boy who had done such things. And she certainly could not imagine James actually carrying out such a plan, which he would have to have been doing for the past month.

Besides, given that he was still in love with her, he had never been the type who'd try to trick her into falling in love with him.

So, Lily thought, if James isn't responsible for that dream, who is?

I am.

Oh, just perfect.

Don't look right. Don't look right. Don't look right, Lily chanted inside her head.

Why not, you might wonder? Why mustn't she look to her right?

Well, the answer is quite simple. Five seats down to her right, James Potter was enjoying breakfast. And for some reason – she didn't know why, but she somehow felt overly emotional today – she found that to be an absolutely wonderful sight. Come what may, she felt entranced by the glimpse of his tongue she could catch when he opened his mouth to shove in some more food, the way his cheeks were moving when he chewed and the way his Adam's apple jolted as he swallowed. She didn't know what to do with her emotions at the sight of this. She didn't know whether to cry, laugh or maybe just walk over and kiss him?

No, no, delete the last. She didn't want to kiss Potter. No way, she couldn't want that.

However, to avoid the internal wars she had to fight at the sight of Potter, she stared down at her still half-filled plate. She felt sick.

"Lily, are you quite alright?" Elisabeth asked. "You look pale."

"Fine," said Lily and continued not eating.

"Something's bothering you…Is it H? School? Family?" Aurora tried. "Potter?"

"SHUSH!" Lily cried out. "Stop saying his name."

Aurora glanced at Elisabeth, who gave her a warning look as though not to say anything more.

"I don't feel very well," Lily mumbled and rose abruptly from the table.

Ignoring her friends' curious glances, she strode out of the Great Hall.

"Evans is acting weirdly," Sirius commented.

"What?" James asked, trying to sound like he didn't care.

"She just stormed out of the room," Sirius reported, "leaving her friends looking quite confused."

James turned around in his seat to look at the doors.

"Wonder what's up," he said quietly and bit his lip, something that earned him curious glances from his friends.

She could barely see anything for the tears blurring her vision. She needed some fresh air, so she pushed up the big front doors of the castle and strode out on the Hogwarts grounds. She walked at a high speed towards the lake.

Standing on a rock on the sea shore, she opened her mouth and began to scream. She screamed her lungs out until she didn't have any air left. Then she leaned against a tree and stood there, panting, while time and place stopped existing.

This was not like her. And she decided, right there on the spot, that she wasn't going to make a habit out of it. She had been completely out of character for the last days but that was going to change. She was a disciplined and bright girl, and she was going to focus. She was going to push Potter out of her head and she wasn't going to let him get to her anymore.

Meanwhile, she was going to focus on 'H'. At least he liked her back.

Glancing at her watch, she realized that she was supposed to be in class in no more than three minutes, and she began running towards the castle. Lily Evans was never late to class. Never had been, never would be. And definitely not because of James Potter.

To whom she was never to speak a word again. Or think about.

Lily Evans was never late to class. Never had been, never would be. James scanned the room for the red-head but he couldn't find her. And now Professor McGonagall closed the door.

It took five more minutes before the door was opened and Lily tried to sneak in unnoticed, but nothing really escaped Professor McGonagall's observations.

"Miss Evans? You're late."

"Sorry, Professor," Lily said and slid into an empty seat in the front.

"I'm going to let it slip this time," said the professor, "but I don't want any more late arrivals from you."

"No, Professor."

James bent forwards over his desk to study her more closely. Her hair was a bit messy though nothing extreme – just not laying perfectly like usually –, her cheeks were a light red and she was panting slightly, as though she'd been running to get there in time.

James didn't pay much attention during class. He wanted to talk to Lily, ask her what was going on. He was concerned about her and felt protective. Whoever or whatever was causing her to feel bad, he wanted to destroy.

She disappeared quickly after class, but James grabbed his book and hurried after, ignoring the looks from his friends.

"Lily! Lily! Wait!"

She didn't wait.

"Lily! Hey!" he caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

"Leave me alone, Potter," she sneered and jerked her arm back before heading off down the corridor.

James stood still, staring after her. Had he done something? Had he given her any reason to be mad at him? He certainly didn't think so.

Maybe she was just back to being her old self.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Elisabeth said to Lily as the three girls headed back to the common room after the last class of the day.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning," Lily said. "I've been stressed out lately."

"It's probably the hormones," Aurora said.

"I hate the hormones," Elisabeth muttered. "Reason behind all of my zits."

"You haven't got any zits," protested Lily and Aurora.

"Yes I do," Elisabeth said, "I'm just good at covering them up…"

"Oh, have you heard who's going out with Ernie Jefferson?" Aurora asked in an appalled voice.

Lily smiled and looked up, only in time to see James pass with his friends. She knew he knew she was there, but he didn't even bother to look at her.

But that was what she had wanted.

So that was alright.

Or so she told herself.

"You and Evans had a fight?" Sirius asked curiously.

"What?" James asked. "No…"

"You're totally avoiding each other," Sirius said. "You're not even looking at each other."

"I thought you were friends?" Peter asked.

James shrugged. "She seems mad at me. I dunno why, though. Not that I care."

"Right-o," Sirius said.

"No, seriously!" James said. "I've given up on Lily Evans. I don't really care. I'm going to focus on… someone- something else."

"You've fallen for the girl we've been writing to?" Sirius said.

James shrugged again. "I like her," he said.

"About that," Remus said, "I'm not sure I want to do it anymore. It's getting to serious."

"Remmy!" James exclaimed. "How am I ever going to get her to like me without your wit and way with words?"

Remus glared at him. "Have you ever considered that maybe she isn't liking you when I'm writing the letter," he said.

"I wrote the last letter," James protested.

Remus said, "Yes, and it was good. I think you can take care of that yourself from now on."

"Wormtail," said Sirius, "I think we really ought to leave this girl to Jamie," – at this nickname he earned a light punch on the arm from James – "don't you think?"

Peter shrugged. "Yeah."

Lily tore up the envelope in a completely un-Lily-ish way.

"Well?" Aurora asked curiously. "What's he writing?"

"Do you mind, guys?" Lily said. "I'd really like some time to read this to myself first."

"Fine," Aurora said and demonstratively picked up a random book from her bedside table and began flicking through the pages. Elisabeth remained sitting silently on her bed, watching Lily.

Dear you,

You shoot your questions, I'm not that easily scared.

H stands for Harry, which is not my real name, but what you will have to know me as for now. Giving away our identities would kind of ruin the fun, don't you think? We have so many prejudices. It's better to get to know each other this way.

I'm a bit surprised as to where you manage to find free time; you mentioned that you were in one of the upper years, and we've got quite a lot of studying to do. So I guess that would make you either a very careless person (not studying albeit we have so much work to do) or an exceptionally bright student (not having to study because you're so freakin' smart). Which one could it be, say?

As for what I enjoy doing in my free time, I'm not that picky. I'm not one for planning, but I like hanging out with my friends. And I like quidditch. You don't happen to like quidditch? I support the Ballycastle Bats. If you're a Appleby Arrows's fan, you don't have to bother replying.

Just kidding.

Well, it's getting late and I need my precious beauty sleep. I'd dream about you, if I only knew who you are.

Love,

Harry

She rummaged about in her trunk for her favourite quill and a piece of parchment. She couldn't wait to reply.