Chapter 5

castle

While the trumpets were trumpeting, and the strumpets were strumpeting, and the crumpets were crumpeting, King Jelly Man was jumpeting-on his very own wonky donkey.

river

Down by the river there was some violent whispering

"Shut up some one might hear you"

"What… no …you shut up"

"No you"

"No you"

"No you!!!"

"I know... why don't we both shut up"

"Ok sounds good"

"Its gunna take a miracle to get me into that castle"

"What castle?"

"The castle in which you live"

"I always thought of it as a sweet little cottage situated on a huge amount of land with lots of people grovelling at my knees…Shut up"

"Alright, alright I'm shutting up…but how do I look? Do I look dashing, spunky, eloquent in fashion, like a hot potato or maybe just a hunky stud muffin?"

"Get over your self… oh and by the way… SHUT UP."

Castle

"Daddy… do you love me?"

"What cha want!!!" he said almost harshly.

Sheepishly she continued "Daddy I would really really really really like it if Dwako Malfoy and Wunako came to the ball tomorrow?" She trailed off.

"What ball" choking on his coffee king jelly man spluttered

"The ball you promised me six days, 2 hours and 3 minutes and 27 seconds, 28, 29, 30, 31, I'm still counting daddy"

"Was this the day that you made your new record with seven tantrums, the lowest ever for a day?"

"Actually…" a periwinkle blue butterfly flitters past the open window distracting veronica from her very important…NO her extremely important… NO her opprobriously important statement "I like muffins" she says with a giggle.

King Jelly Man looks confused, until it was all made very clear when the periwinkle blue butterfly flitters past the open window again distracting him from his very important…NO his extremely important… NO his opprobriously important statement "I like them too." He says with a nod.

The butter fly lands on the King Jelly Mans nose hair leaving pollen grains every where.

"Why are you clicking your fingers at me?!" He says while drunkenly trying to imitate the imaginary butterfly's movement.

"Okay Daddy stay still now. It's so pretty, I want to touch it. Stay very still now."

"You got no right, clicking your little, miniscule, almost non-existent fingers at me honey" He said whilst violently shoving his doughty daughter's shoulder.

Just then "how dare u punch me you, you…." He was so angry that he couldn't make the words, but when he did he said it in a, in a seethen, no really really seethen tone "Flutterby."
Thenm, the butterfly swooped down to the marble, incandescent floor, King Jelly Man's massive pulsating and engorged fist followed shortly after with the almighty force of his big fat muyu crushing the exoskeleton of a flea. Which hit the ground with a most echoing thud (thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thux).

"ouch" sounding very plain, he threw his head back up again.

This happened simultaneously with the pounce like grabbing motion of Veronica's fingers towards the butterfly which had ascended most symbolically to the heavens. "Daddy? Is this sposed to happen? I never know, people keep saying that thing happen for a reason, but is this one of those times? Daddy? Is this sposed to happen? Daddy? DAddy? DADdy? DADDy? DADDY?!!!!!

All of a sudden King Jelly Man awakes from his hallucinogenic slumber like a chip out of a chip packet.

He looks at Veronica "there's a, a, a k, k, k? What the bakery?"

Looking down on her now incapacitated father she says "I believe the word is embedded. Oh and by the way, I'm taking that sudden fainting episode as a yes. I'll just write a reminder on your hand."

Authors' notes:

Wonky donkey is a jumpy castle

There are four, two of me, and one of each of you

Tourette's syndrome

This is how you spell Tourette's T-O-U-R-E-T-T-E-APOSTROPHE-S