NOT THE LADLE! THE BASTER!

"Look, you're my responsibility. You're exhibiting signs of violent behavior and I don't care how much you don't wanna talk about it, you're not leaving until you tell me. Now, tell me, where'd you get the black eye?"

"You wouldn't believe it anyway!"

"Try me, tough guy."

"This is so incredibly funny." Rory chuckled as she sipped her coffee.

"Yea, I can't believe he hasn't heard about the fight or made the connection yet," Tristan whispered beside Rory as he picked at his pancakes.

"Do you think we should say something?" Rory whispered to her mother in very concerned way.

"Nah…." Lorelei whispered back to her daughter, never taking her eyes off of the scene, "This is far to amusing to stop. Give five more minutes."

"A swan." Jess said as he through the cloth down on the counter.

"Okay maybe ten."

"Excuse me?" Luke replied looking perpetually confused.

"I was attacked by a swan. Okay, you happy? A stupid swan." Jess said as he sent death glares at Rory and Tristan.

"Now, how 'bout the real story?" Luke said, resting one hand on the counter and the other on his hip giving Jess a "cut the bullshit and cough up the real story" look.

Jess continued to stare at Jess and Tristan as he sighed and replied to Luke through gritted teeth, "That is the real story. It hangs out by Larson's Dock. I was just walking by and the thing came out of nowhere and bam – beaked me right in the eye."

When Luke heard this he started to laugh uncontrollably along with Lorelei, Rory, Tristan and everyone else in the diner who couldn't help but overhear the conversation. "It… beaked… you?" Luke said between laughs.

"This isn't funny!" Jess yelled as he through his hands in the air in frustration and then pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I just never heard anyone use the word beaked as a verb before." Luke said as he (and everyone else) continued to laugh harder.

"No, no, this isn't funny. That stupid bird attacked me. He could've blinded me. It's a vicious, vicious bird, and . . . fine. Forget it." Jess said as he reached under the counter and grabbed out a ladle and headed for the door.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" Luke said as he continued to chuckle a bit.

"I'm gonna do a little beaking of my own." Jess said as he threw open the diner door in a dramatic fashion and vigorously waved the ladle in the air to emphasis his point as he walked out.

"Jess, not the ladle. That's a brand new ladle. Take the baster!" Luke yelled after Jess as he laughed and picked up the rag to continue to wipe off the counter.

Five minutes passed and everything returned to normal until Luke did something very un-Luke like, he giggled.

"Luke?" Lorelei said with a smirk on her face.

"Yea Lore?" Luke replied as he didn't look up from the counter.

"Did you just giggle?" Lorelei said now chuckling as well.

"What?" Luke said finally looking up, "No of course not."

"You giggled." Lorelei said laughing harder.

"Whatever Lorelei." Luke said becoming irritated.

"Ha-ha….do it again."

"No..."

"Oh come on please?" Lorelei said pouting

"No!" Luke said throwing down the rag.

"But if you do it good, I'll buy you a new ladle," Lorelei said causing her, Tristan and Rory to irrupt in a fit of giggles.

"That's it! I don't need this! I'm going to my apartment," Luke said as he stormed up the stairs.

"Oh come on Lukie-poo! Just one giggle and if you come back right now I'll get you a new cap too!" Lorelei shouted up the stairs before returning to her seat.

Immediately after the apartment door slammed shut the diner one flew open and Jess stormed back in.

"How did the beaking go?" Tristan smirked as Jess threw the ladle under the counter.

"Shut your mouth DuGrey!" Jess said as he appeared to be flustered.

"Hey don't beat up on my boyfriend because you can't keep your frisky ways under control," Rory countered as she continued to laugh. This was turning out do be a lot funnier than she expected.

"Shut the hell up Rory," Jess said but his smirk betrayed his tone, "And I swear to God Rory, I meant what I said." Jess said pointing at Rory.

"And what was that?" Tristan asked curiously.

"Your first kid better be named Hemmingway or else I'm gonna have a fucking conniption fit." Jess said.

"What are you gonna throw down with the ladle Jess?" Tristan smirked as he leaned forward.

"Oh shut up." Jess said getting perturbed.

"Just make sure that when we do I get the bester, because any other kitchen utensil would be unfair." Tristan said as he, Lorelei and Rory continued to smirk.

"Whatever, I don't need this. I'm going up the apartment!" Jess said as he huffed off much to the protests of Rory.

"Oh come on Jessie-poo! If you come back down right now I'll give you some of my coffee! And maybe if you're really good be and Tristan will take you to the bookstore later!" Rory shouted up the stairs only to return when the apartment door slammed shut.

"Oh their more alike then they think." Lorelei laughed as she finished her coffee and bade them farewell.

"So Mary…up for a little adventure today?" Tristan said getting off the stool and putting out his hand for her to take.

"I don't know? What do you have in mind?" Rory smiled as she took his hand and he kissed hers.

A/N: I own nothing