Much awaited, long-procrastinated, Auron P.O.V.!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Auron

I….can't take it anymore.

If that girl doesn't stop crying I don't know whether I'll be able to control myself. Nonstop she has been bawling, making annoying noises, and begging to rest. I frankly have had enough of it, and am willing to drag her by the plume on her head if she doesn't shut up. In fact, I think I've began to expect when she would start another round of whining. I look up and close my eyes against the rain, as she begins, bashing my ears.

"Whoa! That was a close one!" The blitzer says. "Hahhahahahahahahahahaa…." I almost groan. Wakka has unknowingly fed Rikku's fear…which might make her talk more. I send him an irritated glance, and have half a mind for reprimanding him with my katana.

"Stop kidding around." I almost look at the mage in surprise as she moodily and dangerously slid past him, her belted skirt making miniscule clanking noises. She must have picked up on Rikku's discomfort and impending cries. I commend her for that…

"Yes ma'am…" …and for her ability to make Wakka shut up…

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh..."

What now…

The blitzer turns around quickly. "Hmm? What's wrong?" I, however, almost begin yelling, determined to let her know that this time she had to be quiet. But chocobo-girl laughs again, and something in her tone of voice makes me feel…that she's finally snapped.

"Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh…." I hope she doesn't-

"'Eh heh heh.' You're givin' me the creeps!" The boy says, interrupting my thoughts. I glance sideways at him. Throughout our walk he had pitied her. Calmly telling her to be quiet, soothing her concerns with words of comfort. Yet another trait that he doesn't get from Jecht. Though, now he seems slightly irritated.

Then, the most remarkable thing occurred. She actually got down on her knees. On her KNEES. In fear. Then, she crawled like a lizard to the boy, with lightning quick speed, and…grabbed his leg, begging for rest. So….she has snapped.

"I wanna go home! I hate lightning! I hate thunder!" Her little voice makes me want to cringe outwardly, but I restrict myself. Though, only I notice the spark in her eyes when she sees the travel agency behind us…oh lord, no. NO. Auron, do NOT let her see-

"Let's go rest over there! Please?" Dammit.

"This storm never stops. Better to cross quickly." I spy a bout of rage in her eyes for one moment, and it is easier to handle rather than her happiness.

"I know, but…just for a little while?" She says, weakly pointing. The boy looks around comically, and then says, "Heh. Well, what now?"

I mentally sigh. Well, she's got you this far in…so might as well crush it here. I turn around and keep walking. She perks up immediately, and I almost feel remorse for her soon-to-be shock that regardless of how scared she is, we are not going to stop. Almost. We reach the agency, and she and the boy are the only ones running to the door, the latter probably in pity of the former. She looks back at the rest of us walking, and immediately, I can feel her pouting, expressive gaze on my back. Then she begins to speak, and it all goes downhill from there.

"Pretty please? Just a few minutes?" Her voice is so…full of sadness…and sunshine…Sun kills you Auron, and sadness has no effect.

"I'm scared of lightning! Let's rest, pretty please?" It's crooning now, a mental balm to your ears…What? Auron, she blasted your eardrums out with her whining and whimpering. Time to teach her the true meaning of endurance, which you had no such luck learning from someone else.

"I'm too young to die!" Well…can't argue with that…she is rather young…She won't DIE from the lightning. And a little pain never hurt anyone.

"You're mean...cruel! Your moms would be ashamed of you!" I almost resist raising an eyebrow to that one. My mother? She wouldn't be ashamed, just alarmed. Though she wouldn't like it…Mother is dead. No need for her to bring it up or for you to be affected by it, Auron.

"Are you having fun doing this to me?" So sad…such a crooning voice…which has penetrated your heart as well as your mind-

ALRIGHT!

I shake my head in frustration. Getting sleep was better than this hellish repetition of her sunny voice, working against my own judgment. I stop and turn, changing directions to see the offending person. "Fine. We rest. She's worse than the storm." I am surprised after I say it. Why does she have this power over me? Who would I honestly do this for? She's the sun in your dark world…she's the one killing you and mending you at the same time-

WHAT?!

Perhaps I….need to rest after all.

I glance at her as we enter, and…wait, is she smirking? She skips inside, and I resist the urge to stop her in mid-skip by yanking on her hair. The crash of lightning and thunder does that for me. She instantly stops and cringes, once again scared out of her wits by the storm.

We all situate ourselves in positions around the lobby. Yuna, she looks...troubled. She excuses herself quickly and leaves, running to an available room. I have half a mind to go after her, but then I spy the boy out of the corner of my eye. He looks a little off…maybe it has something to do with Yuna…and her marriage proposal……ah. I shake my head as he rushes after Yuna, restless. If he falls in love with her then one of them is going to get hurt…but it is already too late, Auron. Their stories are already set to have an unhappy ending, and if both of them don't know it, then it is going to be all the more painful. You have to stop this sometime soon…but I know I can't. I just can't deny them this one aspect of happiness in such a death-filled world. It is impossible for me…

Some Legendary Guardian I am. Letting my emotions rule over my judgment.

I shake these thoughts out and set upon acquiring a room for our party. I walk up to the counter and begin talking to the lady. I notice with some unease that her smile brightens a bit.

"We need six rooms with single beds, please."

"Hold on, sir, let me just check up on that." She says, and I was about to settle myself back on my thoughts when she winks at me. Hang on. She just winked at me. Oh lord I knew where this was going to go next…though I've hardly heard of a male using his body to get a female to give him some sort of customer privilege. Come to think of it, we could always use the mage…after all, she was blessed in that area. The lady returns and she looks now frightened.

"I'm sorry sir, but we only have three rooms available. With a varying number of beds in each. We're willing to offer you those, if you wish."

I growl. "We have sev-six, people," -the Ronso wouldn't sleep- "and none of us are in…that kind of situation. We need six rooms."

She sighs. "We can manage to put more beds in where necessary, but that's all I can help you with." I notice with more unease that the chocobo has galloped next to me and is watching this whole tirade. "I'm sorry sir, we only have three rooms available. We've been packed lately. My deepest regrets." I feel rather violent. She's watching, don't do something you'd regreat, Auron…So instead, I mutter "You're sure you can't do anything for us?"

She shakes her head. "Once again sir, I tried as hard as I could but those are the only rooms we have left. I apologize." She then bows to me. As if that's all she can do. Hmph. I stride away, angry. This will…complicate things. Yuna and Lulu would call the first, Wakka and Tidus would call the second, Kimhari wouldn't even sleep…and who did that leave me with? Rikku. The one person I couldn't stay in the same room with, for fear of her sun tearing through my pores…no Maybe I could ask them to put an extra bed in the women's room…yes. That would work.

Then I see Rikku walking back towards me, anger evident on her face and a stomp in her step. What was she so mad about? Probably that they couldn't put her in a sound proof room…someone walks towards me with the keys, and then I tell them to put an extra bed for Rikku. It works, and the man nods. Auron, you are saf-ow.

I glare behind my back at the one who dared to bump into me, and see the chocobo grinning sheepishly. Well, what a surprise. I send her to her room, make sure that everyone has their keys, and go to mine. The first thing I do once everyone has gone is to take off my coat. Then, I begin to unhinge my armor. My body feels free, yet vulnerable…I stretch, relaxing my stiff muscles. My katana is placed on a table near the big bed, and I set myself to the task of removing my boots. One foot free…then the other…Yevon, my feet smell so bad…and I intensely need a bath.

I walk to the bathroom and step into the shower, stripping myself before. Only once I let the warm water run itself over my body, am I able to fully relax. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea after all, resting here for awhile. After all, it delayed Yuna's death for a little while...I commend the chocobo for choosing this place. Rin has been…quite a help in the past.

My thoughts drift to the youngest member of our party. Her eyes haunted me, even in my sleep. They were always shining so bright, with something akin to admiration…almost like love….like the way that the clerk was looking at me. But I shake my head, splashing water everywhere. Love was something that would not occur on this pilgrimage. In fact, it would be simply a distraction. I would have to be careful not to fuel her fires even more…

Hang on. What makes you think she likes you, Auron? You're…old, cold, mean…and of course, we're overlooking the little fact that you're dead. She's young…fiery…full of life. You can't stand next to her without shaking. Her fire shines through you. It uses you like a crab uses its shell. Once the shell has been utilized to its full extent, the crab throws it away. And that's what's going to happen to you. Once you're gone. Nothing that occurred between her and you would matter after the sending. So why should she bother? I sigh to myself. Why does this even matter? She doesn't care about me…that way.

I can't ignore her, though. Rikku's reaction to my secret, carefully hidden as it was, was not as I expected. In fact, she seemed to have stuck to me more after that exchange in front of the Farplane. Sliding next to me while walking, always being the first to heal me before Yuna in a battle…little things like that. What was she trying to do? Get closer to me, somehow?

I let out a breath, turning off the water. Time to sleep. Forget about her eyes, her bright hair, her cheery disposition in all situations unhappy…

………her slender body on top of yours, her hands tightly gripping your shoulders-

Stop. For the last time, Auron, stop it.

I dry myself quickly, and step back into the bedroom. Slipping on my pants and undergarments, I slide into bed and try not to dream.

………………….

……what's that noise?

I shoot up out of bed and stealthily grab my katana. Sounds like…a light click, a door shutting…then a sequence of banging noises…something else. Outside my door. Something on the ground. I rush to the door and swing it open, just in time to see a shadow crouching on the flood right in front of me, its back to the doorway. As it's getting up I press my blade where its neck looks to be, threatening to slice its head off.

"Name. Purpose. Now." I growl, ready to chop. If this is an agent of Bevelle, or Seymour, Yevon help them. My thoughts rush to the girls. Are they alright?

…But then I hear that high pitched voice, now in a frantic whisper-

"Auron, you doofus, it's me!" CHOCOBO-GIRL?! I notice the flyaway hair-shapes in the darkness and realize my mistake. Nice, Auron. I remove the blade and see her turn around and the minute she does, I feel her eyes briefly travel over my physical appearance. Damn, I forgot to wear a shirt.

Then my eye falls on her attire and I almost choke. She's wearing…a tanktop. Not a thick one, mind you, a small, thin, barely-there tanktop, with almost see-through features. Her breasts are outlined against her body, small but firm, and her slender curves are silhouetted against the darkness of the corridor. Her shorts are hiked up higher than usual, showing me the smoothness of her inner thighs and her long legs. Her hair…I can't stop looking. It's down…her blonde plume is around her, covering her shoulders and splayed about. I imagine what it would look like on a pillow…

YOU'RE STARING. LOOK UP. NOW.

I force myself to meet her gaze, which is easier because more of her beaut-blonde, long hair is covering her eyes slightly. I am able to look at her directly. Then I notice her eyes are still staring at my chest, and I resist the urge to smirk. Does she like it? I wonder…

Okay. Enough.

"Auron, you jerk, what the hell was that for?!" She has a right to be mad. But why was she outside of my door? In such…little covering?

"Defense. May I ask what you think you're doing outside my room?" I say curtly back.

"I…I…" she is at a loss for words, and suddenly I am visited by a rather exciting notion that she had come to see me for something not entirely professional- STOP.

"I couldn't sleep…had a horrible dream…" She looks down, suddenly sad. I stare at her. She has a bad dream…she comes to me? No. She's not that stupid, first of all, and it can't be that simple. What kind of game is she playing?

"…So what do you want from me?" I ask, now curious.

"Nothing, really…other than the fact that…I've locked…myself out of my room….maybe…" I sigh, as I watch her flush. Clumsy as a three-legged hypello. As usual. Figures that this would happen. Her stupid fear of lightning is going to keep me up. Looks like my night will be sleepless, as I feared.

I turn around, suddenly in a bad mood. Why the hell me? Why?! I keep walking to my bed, fuming. To be honest, it wasn't her fault, but I was still quite mad that she had to come to my room. Why not Wakka and Tidus? Lord knows they might drown out her whimpering with their horrendous snoring. I suddenly realize she hasn't stepped into the room, and I glance behind me. I allowed her in, did I not? Don't tell me she was changing her mind.

"Well…are you coming, or do you want to sleep outside?" I snap. More harshly than I wanted to.

She twitches a bit, and walks in slowly. I turn around and place the katana I realized I was gripping tightly on the table where it was before. I can feel her eyes bore a hole into my back. Why was she looking at me so? She then comes around to the other side of the bed and sits down, her back facing me. She's…nervous…the tightness of her back muscles is seen through her tanktop. Then I realize why.

Where were we going to sleep? I couldn't very well share the bed with her, now could I? Well, actually-

I cough. Better do the gentlemanly thing, Auron. "I'll sleep on the floor, then." I am walking towards the closet, giving my thoughts a reprimand when she suddenly blurts out, "No!" I freeze in my tracks and turn around. She looks more surprised at what she said than I do.

"Well…what I mean is…is that…I feel bad that I came in here…and kind of intruded your sleep…so…I don't want you to- um, I mean…you don't have to, you know...it's not an issue…I mean, it's not like…yeah." I look at her carefully. She babbles really well, but I am still able to make out that…she wants me to sleep with her.

….Good idea.

Shut up. But if she wants me to, then I…can comply with it. I nod and come closer to the bed, which she immediately shifts on, to the other side. I settle myself on top of the sheets. Why? Why not under them, next to he-

Don't go there.

I hear her sliding herself under the covers and I close my eyes, willing the offending thoughts to stop. A little later, she begins shifting, moving the sheets underneath me uncomfortably. I ignore it the first time…but then she keeps doing it, and I feel the need to silence her. "Go to sleep. We need to leave in the morning." I say, sleep clouding my voice and making it sound more like a growl.

"Sorry…" She says meekly, and stills. Then a few minutes later, she keeps wiggling, and I am about to shout when she suddenly sits up and throws the cover off, legs over the edge of the bed. I sit up slowly, wondering what was the matter with her, when I hear the sharp intakes of breath that could only be classified as sobs.

I get up quickly and turn the light on, then stand at the bed, unsure of what to do. I made her cry. Cry. When was the last time I made a woman cry? You scumbag. You made a fifteen year old child cry, not a woman. What is wrong with you, Auron? She's young, she can't be expected to keep cool like you do. You've already been through a pilgrimage…and died. She has only gone through fifteen years of life. You are a simple jerk.

I move to stand in front of her, and watch her face crumple up and huff every time a fresh batch of tears fall down her cheeks. I want her to stop. I want her eyes to shine again. Seeing her not so cheery and happy…unnerves me.

I hesitate as I eye her warily. "…Did I do something to upset you?" I hate the way my voice sounds. Shaky. Affected.

She stops for a second, in surprise, and then shakes her head vigorously. "No! N-no…it's just…I can't keep it out of my head, Auron, I can't!" I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, but then notice with slight agitation that she's borderline hysterical now. Don't tell me it's the thunder…

I massage the bridge of my nose, telling myself to calm down. "…What?" I say, sounding tired. To my utter surprise she lets out a throaty, emotional cry and begins speaking rapidly.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, REALLY sorry, Auron, I didn't mean to wake you up and make you give me your bed and then stay up to hear me cry, but my mother, she won't stay out of my dreams, I can't let her go, Auron, I just can't, she dies over and over again, fading, and I'm dying, running after her for the longest time, and then you're there and you're telling me that the storm won't stop and death isn't that bad, but I want to live, and I want my mom here RIGHT NOW!"

….what?

She wants…her mother?

Pity fills me instantly. She's scared. Not of the lightning, not for that childish farce…but for her dead mother…her losses. I notice for the first time how small she looks. Her face looks suddenly very infantile. Her eyes are always filled with enthusiasm, happiness, and wonder. The chocobo is nothing but a baby bird. Hell, her body hasn't even fully developed yet, I am willing to bet. She is…young. And the cries coming from her meek, unprotected form are slowly hurting me as well as her.

I sit down next to her, and awkwardly place my hand on her shoulder. She stiffens slightly but then relaxes. Her shoulder muscles are tense, tightly wound. Then, I have an idea.

"Your…mother…does she die against her will in the dream?"

She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and then looks up at me for the first time since crying. My chest tightens as her eyes are made invisible by the tears resting on her eyelashes. Quizzically, she gazes at me. "Huh?"

"Is she killed?"

"No…she just sort of…fades away…she's waving, actually." She shakes her head.

"Then she's telling you to move on…" I hoped this would comfort her.

Rikku gives a dry laugh, one that is filled with sarcasm, self-blame, and that sets my teeth on edge. It is so unlike her…it actually sounds more like me. "She died when I was eight. Seven years ago. You'd think I would stop crying already…"

"It takes time." Shouldn't she know that?

"How long, Auron?" She said, suddenly sounding quite furious, "I'm almost sixteen! I should be able to handle it…but I'm not…" she trailed off.

I resist the urge to chuckle. She thinks she can get over such a heartbreak so easily? How to tell her…how to tell her…ah. I've got it.

I give her shoulder a comforting squeeze before launching myself into a story. "Ten years ago…there was a little boy. He lived with a man, a friend of his father's. The man wasn't the type to give love easily or readily…but he promised the father that he would take care of his son before he died. Then, the boy lost his mother to sickness. The man the boy lived with did not know how to handle this sadness in the boy. He was…inexperienced. But he learned, as well as the boy, that slowly, day by day, he would find the will to live on. It would take time, but the boy would heal. The hole in the heart would go away. And they waited. It took ten years for him to get over it. Ten years."

I pause, and gaze at her eyes, which were now looking at me in some sort of wonder and awe. Her eyes were…still green, still shining- though now with a cloudiness to it -and still full of spirals…but they were gorgeous. Absolutely stunning….I realize that now…and I better get up before I begin to scare her….what was I supposed to say once more? Ah.

"Rikku…it will take time. For some, longer, for others, shorter. How long it takes for you is not under your control. You must be patient." I tear my eyes away from hers and study the bed comforters intently. There. Enough, Auron. Now leave her be. Don't fuel the fires…

Hard as I tried, I could not escape her stare. She seemed to be looking at me for an eternity-

My throat constricts. Fast.

Her arms are around my bare torso.

I freeze ostentatiously, and try to gather my thoughts together. Her slender body is once more pressed up against mine, but this time it if of her own free will. Her little arms are hugging me with all their strength, and surprisingly, I can't pull away. Her shining hair is tickling my chest, and her soft cheek is pressed up against it as well. There is a sudden urge to wrap my arms around her shoulders, to press her against me and keep her safe from her own dreams. But I dismiss it. Silly Auron. No one can protect themselves from their own mind…instead, I try to satisfy myself by resting a hand on her lower back.

"Dryhg oui..." she mutters against my chest…and my cold heart flutters with warmth.

"Oui'na famlusa." I mutter back. Auron…she's fifteen…she needs your assistance…you can't stop her admiration, but you need to keep it at that. You will be sent. Nothing will change that fact.

….Shut up, dammit.

I realize she's sniffed into me once or twice, and I'm curious now as to what she's doing. I then detect an aroma of hers.….It's…machina oil. And….a slight scent of reduced perfume. A combination I never would have expected. (A/N: rr1963, this area of smells is a tribute to your writing!)

I'm too busy noticing her smell to fully comprehend that she has now slipped slightly away, and was leaning back and cocking her head up at me, studying my face. Then she asks me the silliest question I could imagine.

"Auron…you feel emotions, right? Like…you can be happy sometimes, right?" I resist laughing. Hard. What, did she think I was a machina, with no feelings, or whatnot? Don't laugh, Auron. You're still dead. Hmph.

"Yes, Rikku, I can feel emotions."

Her face spreads into a silly grin. Her regular spark was back and I immediately felt alright. "Well, why doncha smile more around me, then? It would look nice on you. You know, you're not as scary as you make yourself out to be."

Whoa. Bad news, Auron. Don't let her go there. I settle with lifting an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Am I, now?" I murmur as low and dangerous as I can. Playing with her is quite enjoyable.

Her eyes widen, and I am hit with that same feeling of nausea and pain. Her sun was beginning to kill me once more. She backs away quickly, and my torso feels bare without her presence on it. "Heh heh….but we can work on that."

Her head shakes, and her golden plume falls down the front of her face adorabl- clumsily, I mean. "Ugh…well, gotta sleep…g'night Auron." I nod.

"Good night, Rikku." Her dreams are fenced, her fears are gone…and now you can get sleep, Auron. We all win, don't we? We return to our usual positions and finally try to sleep. But…why was she doing that?! Her fire…her warmth…STOP IT…STOP IT NOW! "…Rikku…" I say, trying not to sound as defeated as I felt. You need to let go of my hand…the fire of the living makes me sick, I already said…please, stop...I can't take it much longer…

"Please, Auron. I feel better." She sounds so…sad…I can't bear to hear her like that…

Calm down…calm…now…you must endure it…let it be. Her fire doesn't want to destroy you…it is mending, isn't it? Yes…it provides light where there is none…it is for the better…yes…

"Very well." I sigh. And I let her warm hand envelop mine, as well as my head. If it was for her comfort, for this child's solace…I would endure it.

That night, I dreamt of green and gold.

Ugh…where am I…why am I here…?

I get up and glance at the clock. It is six A.M.

I look to my left and see the chocobo, sprawled out against the bed under the covers. Her leg slightly brushes against mine and her hand tightly grips my own. I glance at her face and her eyes are shut, mercifully. Her eyelashes are set against her white cheek, and I refrain from pushing back a lock of golden hair from her smooth forehead…

Get ready. We need to leave.

I shake my head and disengage my hand from her own, once more leaving me empty and lacking…I then rush to the bathroom, wash, and slip on my armor and coat. I take one last look at the girl behind me and stride out the door, daring anyone in my way to say anything to me.

I don't understand why I was in such a foul mood that morning. Maybe it was because of the warmth that nearly burned my insides out last night…or perhaps it was the faulty mattress springs in the bed…but most likely, it was the fact that the chocobo prevented me from sleeping. Fully. Whatever the reason was, I got off to a bad start with her, because of two things she did.

She came late. I hate lateness. That was first.

Then she cringed at the lightning.

I snapped.

"It's not stopping, is it?" She says, so frustratingly frightened.

"Don't tell me you were hoping it would." I reply, coolly.

She whimpers again as another crash of thunder and lightning occurs. That is it.

"Fine. Stay here." I say, and dare anyone to make a statement as I stride outside.

I can still hear her.

"All right, already. But! You didn't have to say it like that, you know! You could be more comforting or something! You know, try to cheer me up?" HA. I think you were cheered up more by me than anyone else, wouldn't you say, Rikku?

"You just don't get me at all, do you? Hey! Are you listening?" Not particularly. Oh, a big crash…

"I'm not scared! I'm not scared, you hear?" She screams, and then I smirk. Good.

She learned her lesson.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Yay! I finished that one! Phew. Took so long, dammit. This one came out to fourteen pages too. I did that, AND extra work for my other life I have that's not on this site. Oh, and by the way, the ellipses, A.K.A. the "..."'s mean that Auron has just gone through a period of sleep. Yeah, I know I should have added it to the Rikku chapter too...sorry. (grins sheepishly)

Darn, Auron's character fluctuates so much it's ridiculous. I thought this one was worse than the Rikku perspective.

Alright, as stated in my profile, I need a maximum of…oh say…seven or eight reviews…eh, let's make it ten. TEN reviews, before I update the next chapter I already wrote. Come on now, give me nine and I might reconsider… :P

-SV