A/N: Thanks for all the reviews peoples! I thought this story was crummy, but theres still more if you want it. BTW: one of our english teachers at school actually gave us a list of shakespearian insults, so it actually came in handy! We used it in much the same way as Harry and ron too: )
MALFOY
She was beautiful. Her brown hair (which I'd noticed since the start of the year, had grown out and was less bushy) was hanging over her face. I admit it wasn't the most romantic situation, as she had half a tissue box pressed into my face, but her thighs on either side of my chest was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen. She pulled the tissues away from my face and leaned in towards my ear. Running her fingers through my hair, she whispered: "You nosebleeds finished, Draco." My heart leapt, she'd used my first name. I wanted to run my hands over her body, pull her in for a kiss, but my arms were pinned down my side. I could feel her tongue in my ear, her kisses gradually making their way down, lower and lower across my abdomen. I felt a low groan escape my throat as her torturous kisses worked their way back up my body. She lifted her head, and her brown eyes met mine.
"Gobble gobble."
My smirk vanished. "What?"
She cocked her head. "Gobble gobble."
Sitting upright, my head swam. I collapsed back down onto the bed. I looked over and spotted Granger asleep in a chair, a small patch of blood smeared across her cheek. I heard someone shift in the bed next to me. I turned around and met Filch's beady eyes. He was crouched on the corner of the bed, his arms tucked under his armpits. "Gobble gobble."
I frowned, turning over in the bed. Trying to forget the dream, I closed my eyes.
"Fucking turkey."