"Rough day?" Kyla asked as Spencer set her purse and keys on the counter.

"Yeah," Spencer replied. "Rough three years to be honest."

"I feel ya there," Kyla replied before taking a bite into her freshly made sandwich. "Well, Gunther peed on the carpet like eight-thousand times. I think he's passed out on your bed right now."

Spencer chuckled. "What do you want to do for the rest of this lovely day?"

"Hmm...get drunk and sit in the hot tub," Kyla replied.

"Sounds fantastic, Ky."

-----

"Okay, Spence, truth or dare?" Aiden asked, taking a swig from his beer bottle.

"Um, truth," Spencer replied.

"Are you loud?"

"What do you mean, 'am I loud?'" Spencer asked. She looked over to Ashley, who was giggling immensely.

"You know, in the sack," Aiden stated. "Oh, wait...you look like more of a pillow biter!"

Spencer laughed and splashed the humored boy. "I can't believe you just asked me that!"

Glen sported a disgusted look. "Ah, come on, guys. I don't want to hear about my sister's sex life."

"Suck it up and drink your beer, Carlin," Aiden said. "You're behind by two."

"You have to tell the truth, Spencer!" Kyla exclaimed.

"I'm not saying," Spencer said with a coy smile.

They all looked over to Ashley, who merely sported a large shit-eating grin and nodded.

"I knew it!" Aiden quipped. "So, have you guys ever done it in this hot tub?"

"Aiden!" Everyone yelled.

-----

"Do you remember when Ashley paid your brother seventy bucks to not tell your parents you went to that party?" Kyla asked.

"Ha, yeah," Spencer replied. "Oh, remember Aiden's Halloween party senior year?"

"And how Ashley thought the cop was one of Aiden's friends in a costume? Priceless...pure fucking priceless," Kyla stated. "God, how embarrassed were you?"

"Oh, well, I only had my shirtless girlfriend handcuffed to the bed," Spencer said, laughing.

"Serious question, Spence," Kyla said.

"Go for it."

"If Ashley were here, what do you think our lives would be like? How different would we be had she never disappeared?"

Spencer took a sip of her drink and said, "we'd be happy, Kyla."

"Yeah...sometimes I wish I could just go back and slap her, you know? As much as I miss my sister, I have to admit she was a fucking idiot at times."

Spencer chuckled and said, "at times?"

Kyla nodded, "okay, okay, all the time. That girl was fucking brilliant but she had no common sense whatsoever."

"Some of the things that made her Ashley. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone who comes close to her, but I don't think I was meant to. It's like Ashley was my one and I'm not supposed to ever forget that. But maybe I'm just insane after all these years," Spencer stated, finishing her drink and turning around to grab another from the cooler beside the hot tub.

"You just haven't given yourself the time to get over her. I don't mean that to sound so shitty, but it takes time, Spence, and you have all the time in the world, okay?"

-----

Spencer awoke to the sound of her doorbell ringing. She hesitantly got out of bed and walked to the front door.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Spencer asked, hungover and half asleep.

"I'm here to talk, honey."

"About what? Don't you have some place to be? You know, like work?" Spencer asked.

"My shift ended early," Paula stated, walking past Spencer and into the living room.

"All right, fine," Spencer said, following her.

"I'm sorry about the things I said, Spencer," the older blonde said as she sat on the couch.

"It's fine, mom. I don't really care."

"I just want you to understand that I only want what's best for you. Sometimes things just come out wrong," Paula stated. "When you first told me that you were gay, all the dreams I had for you vanished. I wanted you to experience the same things I did. The joy of getting married and having children and being respected for those things in your career and such."

"Mom--"

"No, listen to me, Spencer. There's things I need to say. It frustrated me that you could never experience those things; the things that I've had the opportunity to experience. I suppose I just always took those frustrations out on Ashley. I was never accepting and for that, I'm truly sorry. And when Ashley disappeared, it frustrated me that I couldn't understand what you were going through like your father could, so I stayed away. I wanted to give you room to breathe, honey," Paula said. "I'm sorry I haven't been much of a mother of the past five years, Spencer. I'm sorry."

-----

Spencer sat between Kyla and Aiden staring at the casket that should belong to her love. Aiden lovingly wrapped a strong, heavy arm around her shoulders while she took Kyla's hand. She drowned out Christine's emotionless voice as her life with Ashley flashed behind her eyes. Not long after Christine's oh-so-dramatic speech, Spencer stood and placed a single white rose on the mohagany casket. Aiden and Kyla soon followed with their own white roses and then the rest of the people attending the private ceremony draped red roses across the expensive wood.

Spencer cried silently against Aiden's suit jacket as they lowered the coffin into the ground.

-----

"I heard what your mom said this morning," Kyla stated over her Chinese food.

"This is a good lunch, huh?" Spencer asked.

"Stop avoiding my statement," Kyla said with a laugh. "Do you think she meant it?"

Spencer finished chewing and replied, "yeah, but I don't really care."

"Why's that?"

"Because what's done is done, there are no takebacks in the game of life," the blonde said. "Or at least for the things she's done."

"True. Oh, I talked to Aiden this morning when you were in the shower. He's coming over on Friday because it's my last day here," the brunette said.

"Oh, good, I haven't seen him in forever! He always calls me at the worst times."

"That boy has the worst timing, that's why. Remember when he made Madison cry after her dog died because he bought the dog a new collar? I don't really know how that happened, but it was seriously hilarious," Kyla said, laughing.

"You're a terrible person, you know that?" Spencer said with a smile.

"Oh, I do."

Spencer stood from the couch, grabbed her remaining food and walked to the kitchen to put it in the fridge. "Well, I suppose I'm headed out to the cemetery since I didn't go on Monday. I'll be back around three, okay?"

"Okay. I'll keep the fort safe. Oh, hey, I saw that Range Rover again yesterday. Didn't come down the drive, just sat there for about half an hour. What should I do if I see it again?" Kyla said.

Spencer smiled and said, "well, there's a nine under my pillow and a shotgun under the bed. Go to town on those mo' fo's."

Kyla laughed and said, "shut the fuck up, Spencer. But seriously, should I call the cops or something?"

Spencer nodded and said a quick bye before grabbing her keys and heading out the door.

-----

Spencer sat on the grass in front of the headstone and inhaled deeply. "Dr. Foster says I should cut back on my time out here, but I don't think he's ever lost a significant other. Babe, I'm pretty sure everyone's starting to think I'm crazy. Well, my mom's thought that since the first time I brought you home, but still. I...maybe I am starting to lose touch a little. But suddenly it's hitting me harder than ever before."

She ignored the foot falls coming from somewhere behind her, assuming it was Rob, the head maintenance worker. He usually let her be.

"My mother stopped by and apologized for the way she treated you and I, can you believe that? She said it was because she was frustrated and that she mistakenly took those frustrations out on you. I'm sorry my mother's crazy, babe. Maybe that's where I get it from.

"Two and a half years, Ash. That's how long I've been coming to Brownstone Cemetery and I've sat on this patch of grass over two-hundred and sixty times. I thought it would get easier over time, but you know what? It hasn't. I haven't left California in three years...not even a vacation. I've always been afraid that the moment I left would be the moment you decided to come home and you would think that I had given up and left. And now I can't help but think that you might as well be in that coffin," Spencer said, choking back a sob.

"It's finally hitting me, baby. Everyone thinks I've finally come to the last stage of grief; acceptance. But every night before falling asleep, I still wish that the sound of you singing in the shower will wake me up in the morning. Every time I crawl into bed, I still pray that I'll be able to smell you on the sheets. I still hope that when I open the front door, you'll be there to greet me with a long overdue kiss," the blonde stated, wiping at her cheeks. "But you know what? I finally know you won't be waiting and I won't ever hear your voice or ever smell your scent again...but I'll still be in that place because there is no getting over you."

Spencer traced her fingers over the inscribed name and couldn't stop the fresh rush of tears. "God, Ash, I miss your voice and how it always gave you away. How when you were turned on it was all husky and when you were upset or sorry it was shaky and how when you were trying to hide a surprise, you would just talk and talk and talk. How I could tell how hurt and distraught you were by the last things you ever said to me. God, I just wish...fuck, I'm just stuck with wishes now.

"Kyla's a godsend, you know that? It's so bittersweet having her around. She shares your bright personality and wit and I can't help but wish that your dad was still alive so I could thank him for bringing two amazing people into the world. But that's life, babe, and now it's mine. I'm going to say this is the last time I pray that you come back to me, but we both know I'll still pray every day. I just want you to come home, Ashley. I know there's a extremely slim possibility that'll ever happen, but come back to me," Spencer said while burying her face in her hands. "Please, baby, I love you. Come back to me."

"I'm sorry it's taken me so long, Spencer," a shaky voice said from behind her.