A/N- Thanks soo much for the reviews! You guys seriously rock : ) And thanks to everyone for reading...hope you enjoy the chapter!
rating reminder- T for now
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"You're freaking kidding me."
"I try not to kid my patients." He deadpanned. "For some reason the medical board doesn't like that." He paused for a moment, "No pun intended by the way."
"Oh my god." She buried her face in her hands.
"Not the news you were expecting, I take it." Dr. Slemski said seriously.
Sara peeked at him between her fingers. "No."
"So this was unplanned."
"Your powers of observation astound me." Sara groaned.
Dr. Slemski looked at her for a moment. "There are different options of how to deal with this." His voice was calm. Unjudgemental.
Sara looked at him, uncomprehending.
"You're a professional woman. I get that. Many women in professions dominated by men are unwilling to have children. Don't think you're alone in this, Sara. However, if you choose to have an abortion it needs to be done before your second trimester. Or adoption, which is another option, now if you…" He was cut off by Sara sputtering.
"Wait! Wait, wait, wait! I…I …you just tell me that I'm…that I'm…" She breathed in deeply. "And you expect me to make a decision now? Can't I…have some time to think about this?"
"Of course. I wouldn't recommend anyone making such an enormous decision without careful and thorough thought."
"O-okay…then."
"Let's make an appointment for next week."
"Yeah, sure."
Dr. Slemski turned away for a moment shuffling through some papers, he turned back holding brochures. "What I said before about you not being alone considering your pregnancy also stands for other…issues." He handed her the brochures.
Sara looked at the brochures reading, 'A Guide for Battered Women: What Should You Do Next?', 'Domestic Violence- No One Deserves to be Beaten', and 'You Are Not Alone: Domestic Violence Counseling.'
Sara gaped at the brochures, then at the doctor.
"I know this can be difficult, but there are groups that can help." Dr. Slemski said gently.
Thoroughly confused, Sara asked, "What are these for?"
He looked at her calmly, his expression one of infinite patience. "You aren't alone Sara. You don't have to suffer in silence from abuse."
"I…what?"
"There are support groups to help you through this. I also strongly recommend you seek help if you decide to have the baby."
"What the hell are you taking about? Abuse?"
He looked pointedly at her cheek. "This is purely confidential, Sara."
"Oh my god. You think I'm being abused."
Dr. Slemski looked at her meaningfully.
Sara raked her fingers through her hair. "I can assure you, without a doubt, at this point in my life, I am most definitely not being physically abused…by anyone. This," she gestured to her bruised cheek, which has turned several shades of yellow. Sara had tried to cover it with make up, but obviously she'd failed miserably. "is not that. About a week ago I went to work a scene. I was told it'd been cleared. It wasn't. A looter had broken in and was stealing a television when I came in. He attacked me. My partner was able to get to me in time before anything…serious happened."
Dr. Slemski looked at her, considering her story. "You're not lying, are you?"
"Jesus, no. Look, I lived with domestic abuse when I was a kid. I know first hand what happens to women in that situation. I'd never let myself be in a relationship like that. If a guy ever…tried to do that to me…well... Let's just say I know how to get rid of a dead body." She tried to smile.
Dr. Slemski eyed her for a moment, "Okay. I'll take that last bit as a joke. Sorry for the misunderstanding…but you have no idea how many women I see with bruises like yours are being abused, but won't admit it."
"Me too."
He nodded and then stood. "Okay, I think that's it for today. Make an appointment at the front with the receptionist for next week."
Sara blinked. The pregnancy. Right. With all the abuse confusion Sara had completely forgotten about the baby. She frowned. She'd only known at the pregnancy for less then half an hour, and already she had forgotten. What a fantastic mother she would make.
--
Sara stood in front of her mirror. Turning to the side she lifted her shirt. Her stomach was flat, not revealing the life that was growing within.
Could she be a mother? She had never had a real mother figure in her life. Her mother had spent most of Sara's youth drunk or absent until she was locked in jail. Sara had become hard and independent; especially when she was living in foster care. Her foster mothers were all different, some bad, some okay. None of them had provided Sara with a sturdy model of what a mother should be.
Sara had the idealistic view of a mother caring for her child first, in all matters. Could she do that? With her job? Catherine somehow managed to keep her job and care for her daughter. Was Sara as strong as Catherine?
Tears slipped down her cheeks unbidden. Pulling her shirt down, Sara left the washroom. She didn't have time to think about…the pregnancy. She had to go to work.
--
Okay, so not thinking about it was easier said than done.
"Earth to Sara," Nick waved a hand in front of her face. Sara jumped, startled.
"Sorry, I just kind of spaced out for a minute."
"So I gathered." Nick smiled. "You want to sit in on the interrogation?"
Sara looked at Nick in confusion. Interrogation? What interrogation? Surely she must know this…
"Erm…who are we interrogating again?"
Nick stared at her oddly. "John Leenman, Harry Greenman's best friend."
Sara mentally slapped her forehead. Of course.
"Right, I knew that." She flushed in embarrassment
--
John Leenman was of average height, had dark squinty eyes, and 100 pounds over weight.
"Nasty bruise, boyfriend trouble?"
Sara was becoming fed up with everyone thinking her boyfriend (if she had one) used her as a punching bag. If she were male, a bruise like hers would be worn as a badge of honor. A female was instantly labeled as a victim of violence from her spouse.
Sara smiled cordially at the greasy haired man. "I'm in a lesbian biker gang. We have nasty lesbian biker orgies every night, sometimes it gets a bit violent."
John stared at her wide-eyed. "Seriously?"
"No."
"That's just mean."
Sara shrugged. "Tell me about Harry."
John leaned back, "Harry was my best friend."
"What was he like?"
"A good guy. I've known him for years." He paused. "Before and after he met Athena." His tone was sharply bitter.
"You don't like her?"
John snorted, "She's a frickin' piece of work. She made Harry her frickin' bitch. Before her he had a backbone, but after he was a frickin' pansy. If I hadn't known him before, I'd probably never have been friends with him."
"But they split up."
"Yeah, when Harry started to stand up for himself, Athena didn't like that."
"Did Harry ever talk to you about meeting with Athena to get back together?"
John sighed. "He said something about maybe patching things up with her, but I told him 'Harry, if you frickin' get back together with that bitch you'll 'frickin' regret it'. He stopped talking about it, so I figured he'd decided not to. He didn't say frickin' anything to me about seeing her again after that."
"When's the last time you heard from him?
John thought for a moment. "A few days before Jenn called me to tell me about what happened."
Sara looked at her notes. "Okay, that's it for now. Thanks for coming in."
"No prob," John was almost out of the room when he turned back. "If you need anything else, feel free to call me. I'll do anything to catch the sonofabitch that did this."
--
Sara and Nick faced Grissom from across his desk.
"A bit of a dead end with John Leenman then."
Nick nodded. "Seems so."
Grissom rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Okay. You know the drill, work on your other cases until another lead comes up. Right now both of you go home, get some rest. I'll see you tonight."
"Sounds good." Nick yawned.
Grissom nodded a dismissal to his two CSI's. His eyes strayed on Sara for a long unnecessary moment. Sara stared back at him defiantly until he looked away. She turned feeling a flush high in her cheeks. She was very glad Nick seemed oblivious to the silent interaction that had taken place right in front of him.
Nick and Sara were almost at the door when Grissom called out.
"Sara, can I speak with you a moment?"
Sara looked back at Grissom, her face blank. She quietly told Nick to wait for her outside.
"Is this about a case?" Her voice was neutral.
"No."
"Anything work related?"
"No…Sara…"
"Then I don't think we have anything to discuss here." She turned to leave.
"Sara please." His voice was slightly desperate.
Her voice gained a sharper edge, "Is this about wanting to be with me?"
"No. I just…" He began, "I just…want to know how you are." He finished lamely.
Sara looked at him for a moment, her features distorted in disapproval. "We have nothing to talk about here." She turned on her heel, and left the room.
Sara linked an arm through Nicks as they walked down the CSI corridor leading to the parking lot. "Feel like some breakfast?"
--
When Sara got home she immediately changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt. Yawning she took a glass from her cupboard while stroking a purring Asha.
She grabbed a bottle of red wine, pouring a liberal amount into the glass, she yawned again.
She was about to take a sip when she tore it away from her lips. Her fingers had slackened, the glass slipped through her fingers and shattered on the hardwood floor.
Sara stared in horror at the glittering crimson mess. Oh god. Oh god. Her mind whirled until she felt dizzy. Leaning on the counter she took several deep breaths.
How much had she drank since she'd become pregnant? What irreversible damage has she inflicted on a life she hadn't known about?
Sara looked again at the broken glass. What a terrible mother she'd make. It wasn't even born and she might have already ruined its life.
"No Asha!" Sara quickly jumped over the glass, picking up the cat which had been pawing a sharp piece.
After depositing Asha into Sara's room and closing the door, Sara cleaned the shards from the floor.
Sitting on the floor, Sara leaned against the counter, her face buried in her hands. A choked sob escaped her throat.
--
tbc
a/n- Sorry to Midnight-Psychotics and anyone else who didn't want Sara to be pregnant. It actually surprised me that she is; when I started to plan this story I was very sure she wouldn't be. But my muse has taken over. I definitely know where this story is leading, so updates should be more frequent (I say now, but University has taken over most aspects of my life...). Anyways, thanks for reading : ) And as always, reveiws warm my heart : )