a/n- Hello readers! I am absolutely blown away from the response from my last chapter...really, really awesomely fabulous...all you guys really humble me and are great motivators for getting chapters out. I didn't want to make you guys wait to see what happened...and I figure it's the holidays ; ) I gotta be nice somehow. Happy Holidays!!

rated: T

--

Gil Grissom was a patient man.

Not only patient in adulthood, but he could recall his mother commenting on how amazingly calm and introspective he was as a child.

While some of his mother's friends looked upon him with a critical eye: such an odd boy you have, Maggie. The other day I saw him poking at a dead squirrel… His mother would always smile kindly, and explain through her fluid fingers that he was a special boy; and his uniqueness would make him something great someday.

Yes, Gil Grissom was a patient man.

Every ounce, every drop of patience that defined the enigma Gil Grissom was quickly discarded after he received the phone call from the hospital. If asked, later he would be hard pressed to accurately remember how he came to the hospital…but he was suddenly there, the journey a blur.

After an hour of badgering nurses and doctors for information about Sara's condition, he was respectively, but forcibly told if he kept bothering the staff he'd be asked to leave.

The waiting room became a cage. Grissom stalked back and forth, not caring other occupants waiting for news of their own loved ones seemed disconcerted by his aggressive movements.

He knew nothing. Nothing about what happened, or how badly she was hurt.

Grissom sighed, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Gilbert Grissom?" The voice was thin and reedy.

"Yes?" He said briskly.

"Dr. Grissom…you're the emergency contact for a Sara Sidle…"

Grissom stopped all movement. The papers on his desk forgotten.

"What…Has something happened? Is Sara alright?"

A pause.

"Mr. Grissom, Ms. Sidle has been injured…She was brought in twenty minutes ago."

His hands were clammy. "Where?"

Grissom had held off calling the team. He didn't want to worry them…a doctor would have told him if she was horribly injured…

…wouldn't they?

No need to worry the team, or take them away from their work if it's something minor…

…right?

Grissom rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. He was having trouble thinking logically.

They didn't say anything about her condition on the phone other then that she was 'injured'. They would have told him if she was mortally wounded…if …if she was lying on her death bed.

They would have told him.

Wouldn't they?

Oh God.

Grissom sat down, his stomach tied in painful knots. A pain behind his eyes told him a migraine was on the horizon.

How long he sat, he didn't know. But through the haze of his storming thoughts he heard someone call his name.

"Mr. Grissom?"

Grissom sprang from his seat, his sharp blue eyes trained on the doctor before him.

"How is she?"

The doctor smiled thinly. "Not completely out of the woods yet, but better. She just got out of surgery…"

Grissom gaped. "Surgery...what…?"

"No one came to tell you? I thought I…I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but Ms. Sidle was shot. The bullet was caught in her right shoulder. It didn't hit anything major, so taking the bullet out was not very difficult."

"Sara was shot?!"

The doctor stared at Grissom a moment. "Ms. Sidle is, at the moment, doing fine, Mr. Grissom. I was actually more concerned about the baby…stress like that can be fatal for a fetus, especially one as young as hers. But for now, it seems mom has a tight hold onto it. Ms. Sidle's gynecologist, Dr. Slemski, will be coming in to check her out but I think she…"

Grissom blinked, slowly. The doctor's words blurred, forming incomprehensible sentences. Eventually, the doctor patted Grissom on the arm in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring manner, then left.

What?

What?!

What the fuck?!

--

Sara dreamed.

Catherine danced around a crime scene in a tutu.

Warrick and Nick, both shirtless, examined a body Sara couldn't see.

"It is tragic, isn't it?" Nick said, poking the body's midsection.

Warrick took a long drag on a cigarette. "Yeah, but y'know we all saw it coming."

Nick nodded, "True."

Sara stepped closer to the scene. Her steps were weightless. Standing behind the two men, she gasped, her hand covering her mouth.

It was her; her dead body sprawled on the ground. Her chest was a bloody mess. Her ribs broken outward like something had exploded within her.

"Sara?"

She turned, eyes widening. Grissom stood behind her, his blood stained hands holding something.

Sara felt bile in the back of her throat.

It was her heart. Her beating heart.

"Sara?" His eyes implored hers. He looked regretful. "I didn't know you would bleed this much." Grissom stared at the organ in his hands fondly, "It is fascinating though, don't you think?"

Sara sat up, gasping. Her face covered in sweat. She grabbed at her chest, feeling her racing heart.

Then she felt the pain.

Her right shoulder burned in agony, she leaned over moaning. Several minutes later of deep breathing the pain had subsided to a bearable throb. Sara gingerly sat back, taking in her surroundings.

She was in a hospital. The memories of the convenience store came back in an overpowering force.

Harry must have shot her.

Details were fuzzy, she couldn't remember how or why. But she remembered a shot being fired, then darkness.

Another thought occurred to her.

Oh no. Oh God.

Her throat tightened, her breathing quickened.

She leaned over pressing the call button over and over until a nurse came.

"Glad to see you're awake. And for future reference, you really only need to press it once, Ms. Sidle." The nurse paused, taking in Sara's distraught face. "Are you alright?"

"My baby?" Sara's voice was harsh. "Is my baby…?" Sara felt tears building in her eyes.

The nurse stepped forward, an understanding smile playing on her lips. "Your baby is fine."

Sara covered her face with her hands wincing at her protesting shoulder, she shuddered, her relief palpable.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Sara felt the nurse leave.

Tears slipped down Sara's cheeks. "Thank you."

--

Grissom called the team.

He could vaguely recall their worry and concern learning of Sara's condition, and promises from all to be there as soon as possible.

They were concerned about her condition of being shot…not the other thing.

Grissom couldn't say it. Not because it wasn't his secret to tell, but because saying it would make it real.

Grissom didn't know what to think, or how to deal with this.

Had he imagined the doctor saying that? He hadn't properly slept in three days…

Grissom sighed; he knew he hadn't imagined it. At least he was mostly sure.

Questions ran through his mind, questions upon questions.

How long had she known?

Is she okay?

Is the baby okay?

Is…is that baby his?

Is her baby his?

Standing outside her hospital room, the last question rang through his mind. His emotions so convoluted and confused he couldn't possible decipher what he was feeling.

He breathed in deeply, and stepped into the room.

She was sleeping. Her dark hair splayed across her pillow, her face pale. She was almost gaunt…much to skinny to be carrying a child.

His child?

Grissom shook his head sharply. Sitting in a chair facing her bed he continued his study if her.

He then noticed the drying tracks of tears running down her face. Grissom reached out to touch her face, but pulled back when she shifted in her sleep. His eyes were then drawn to the bandaged on her right shoulder.

Grissom's eyes burned staring at the bandages. She had been inches away from death.

Grissom tentatively reached out again, softly taking her left hand in his. He watched her face closely. When he was sure she wasn't going to wake up he fully enveloped her smaller hand in his larger one.

And like that he sat. Watching her sleep.

--

Having cried herself to sleep, Sara hadn't realized she had actually fallen asleep until she woke.

And she acutely aware she wasn't alone.

Looking to her left, she was met with a bewildering scene. Grissom was holding her hand, his head lying on her bed, and was softly snoring.

Sara found the sight utterly endearing. She desperately wanted to ran a hand through his hair, but found her left hand very occupied and her right one couldn't move without flaring pain in her shoulder.

It was probably for the best that she couldn't, anyways. It most likely wouldn't be healthy for her emotional being to indulge in his hair and another reason being he had woken up just as she was thinking this.

His blue eyes were foggy with sleep. Sara beat down a smile at his befuddled look at waking up in an odd place. He looked up at her and she could tell he remembered.

"Sara…"

"Um, hi."

Grissom, as though noticing he still held her hand, tore it out of her grip at though she burned. Sara bit the inside of her cheek, the absence of his warmth made her feel cold, and alone.

"Are you alright?" He was completely alert now.

"I think so…the nurse said everything…appears fine."

Grissom nodded, "Good, good."

"How long have you been here?"

Grissom glanced at his watch, his brows furrowing. "Uh, not long. Can you tell me what happened?"

Sara sighed. "I was at a convenience store, some kids came in with guns, and the clerk had a silent alarm. Cops came. The kids kind of freaked out. One thing led to another, and here I am." She tried to smile. But Grissom's solemn features made her look away.

A soft knock at the door averted both of their gazes. A nurse bustled in smiling kindly.

"Feeling better, Ms. Sidle?"

Sara nodded. "The drugs have helped quite a bit…I know I asked before, but you're sure their okay with…" Sara glanced at Grissom, flushing slightly.

The nurse nodded. "I assure you, they're fine. And how are you doing Mr. Grissom?"

Grissom opened his mouth to answer, but Sara overrode him.

"It's actually Dr. Grissom." Sara murmured, flushing again when the nurse and Grissom looked at her.

"My apologies, how are you Dr. Grissom?"

Grissom stared at Sara thoughtfully for a moment before turning to the nurse. "I'm fine thank you."

"Well, Sara, if you experience any increased pain remember to press the call button."

With a soft pat on Sara's leg, the nurse left.

They sat in silence for several moments before Grissom spoke.

His voice was slightly detached. "Sara…the doctor, earlier. When I first got here, he told me…"

Sara looked back at him curiously. Grissom stood, running a nervous hand over the back of his neck.

"Sara…I…"

Her face paled. "Is…is something wrong with me?"

Grissom stared at her seriously. "No, nothing is wrong with you…or your baby."

Sara's mouth opened, "Oh." She breathed.

"Yeah."

"I…uh…"

"Sara, I have to ask you something."

"Grissom…"

"Just…please, Sara." His eyes pleaded, she could only nod.

His breathing had quickened, Sara noted. "Is…is it mine?"

Sara stared up at him; emotions ran across her face too fast for Grissom to name. Her lips thinned, her expression became blank and guarded.

"No. It's not."

Grissom took a step back as though something had physically pushed him.

"I…" He began.

"Okay." He took another step back. Should his eyes be burning so badly?

Sara wordlessly stared at him. Her eyes large an emotionless.

"Okay." They doorway was close. It felt as though his chest was full of sharp knives. God, he's going to be sick.

He backed out of the room, tearing his eyes from hers. He turned searching for a washroom, barely noticing when he ran into Nick.

"You alright, Griss?" The Texan asked, concerned at Grissom's ashen face.

"I'm…fine."

Grissom brushed off Nick, desperate to be away.

Far away.

--

tbc