I stood frozen to the spot, my feet felt like that had been planted into the ground. As soon as this woman had flung themselves onto me and into a hug, I seemed to block out everything around me. Vaguely, I heard this woman say I was her daughter, and that I was going home with her. I shook my head to myself, praying that it wasn't true. Jesse had promised me that I was going home with him and nothing could change that.
Slowly the woman stopped hugging me and I came face to face with my mother. She was nothing like I pictured and definitely did not look like me. Her face showed slight signs of ageing and it looked as if she had been crying for a long period of time; her eyes were filled with the wisdom of a person who had experienced a lot in their lifetime. Judging from the expression etched upon her face, she was extremely worried and depressed about something, which I was guessing had to do with me.
I felt Jesse's strong hands push me behind him to protect me. I knew he could tell how scared and confused I was by the expression displayed so obviously on my face. I slowly became aware of my surroundings again and I could hear Jesse arguing with this woman about me.
"Mrs Ackerman, I know that you are upset that you have been denied the right to see your own daughter, but you need to think of what is best for Susannah. The hospital have decided that because of Susannah's condition she needs to be released into the custody of somebody she remembers and trusts. I can assure you that she will be safe and well cared for with me," Jesse said.
"No. I have the right to take my own daughter home with me. Jesse, I may have trusted you before with Susannah but I cannot trust you here. She is only an eighteen year old girl- how can I trust you not to take advantage of her in the fragile state that she is in when you are both alone in your apartment?" Mrs Ackerman said, beginning to raise her voice.
I sensed Jesse tensed up at that remark. "Mrs Ackerman, I love your daughter very much and I can promise you that I would never take advantage of her. All I wish to give her is the comfort and support she needs and a place to live where she feels safe," Jesse said angrily.
"I've heard enough. Susie, come on, we're going home," Mrs Ackerman said reaching for my arm. I shook my head and shrank behind Jesse, watching as he kept me away from her. "This is ridiculous, Jesse. You cannot deny me the right to see my own daughter! I love her in a way that you will never understand! She's just a bed partner to you!" Mrs Ackerman shouted.
I had heard enough. This woman had been lashing out at Jesse and I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop it! Just stop it!" I screamed. I knew people were staring at us but I didn't care. "I'm not leaving with you! I don't care if you are my mother, I don't remember you. I remembered Jesse because he is the most important person in my life. I love him and my life is nothing without him. He would never take advantage of me, because he respects me and only ever want the very best for me. I'm an adult now and I just wish you could trust me to make my own decisions. If you really loved me as much as you say, then you would let me leave with Jesse! I'm sure he can provide and much more comforting and safer environment than you ever could!"
I had only just realised then that I had been crying, my cheeks were soaked with my tears. I could see the hurt in my mothers eyes but I didn't feel guilty, just anger. Anger towards this woman who apparently cared so much about me, yet was not willing to understand what was most important to me.
I felt Jesse pull me towards him in a hug and I clung onto him, crying into his chest. "Shhh, querida," he whispered, kissing my forehead. I felt him slowly guide me towards the exit of the hospital. He sat down on a wooden bench outside at the entrance to the hospital and pulled me onto his lap. He stroked my hair as I continued to cry for what seemed like hours. Eventually my tears ceased and I looked at Jesse through my red, puffy eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Jesse. I'm sorry for the way she was acting towards you, and I'm sorry for causing a scene. I just couldn't stand by and watch any longer as she lashed out at you," I said quietly, resting my head on his shoulder. "Thank you for keeping your promise, that you would let me only leave with you."
"Of course I kept my promise, Susannah. I love you, and I would hate for you to think, even just for a second, that I don't. I will be here for you any moment that you need me, until the very end," Jesse said softly. And I knew that he would, because he loves me.
An hour later, we were sitting on the couch in his apartment. I was leaning against him and he had is arm wrapped around me. After we arrived there, I took a quick shower whilst Jesse made me something to eat. It wasn't much, but it definitely tasted a lot better than hospital food.
I had been thinking about my family, trying to remember something about them when a thought struck me. "Jesse, that woman at the hospital, she said she was my mother. But why do we not have the same surname?" I asked.
He paused before answering. "Do you remember living in New York?"
I thought for a moment. "Yes. I remember Gina was my best friend. I also remember moving to Carmel when I was sixteen, but I dont remember why."
"Susannah, when you were younger, your father passed away suddenly of a heart attack. Years later, your mother met Andy Ackerman. Your mother remarried and that's why you moved to Carmel. His wife also passed away years earlier and he has three sons, your stepbrothers: Jake, Brad and David."
"Wait, Andy... I remember him. He was building a deck and they found your body. And David, when I first moved to Carmel, you spoke to him when I was in trouble at the Mission, exorcising Heather," I said slowly.
Jesse smiled at me. "Yes, Susannah. Do you remember anything else?" he asked. I thought before shaking my head. "That's alright, Susannah. This is a start," he said before hearing a knock on the door. I bit my lip and looked at Jesse. "Who is it?" Jesse shouted.
"It's Andy. I'm alone. I brought over some of Suze's things that I thought she might need," he said from behind the door. Jesse looked over at me. I could tell he was wondering if I was alright to let him in.
"I'm alright, he can come in," I said. I stood up so that Jesse could stand. I followed Jesse over to the door and smiled at Andy as the door opened. "Hey Andy," I said and hugged him.
Andy broke out in a grin. "You remember me?" he asked.
"Yeah, you and David," I said, deciding quickly not to tell him how. I don't think he'd like to know that it was Jesse's body he found, or that Jesse spoke to his youngest son when he was a ghost. "We were talking about a few things and I suddenly remembered."
"That's great, Suze. Here's some stuff, just let me know if you need anything else," he passed me a small bag. "Well, I should be off. Start getting dinner prepared soon." He gave me another quick hug.
"Say hi to David for me," I said, pulling away.
"Sure thing. I'll see you both later," he said and walked out of the building.
"Bye Andy," Jesse and I called after him in unison. I stood back as Jesse shut the door. "I might just have a quick look at what he packed, if you don't mind," I said.
"Here, let me take that for you," Jesse said, carrying the bag to the bedroom. "You can sleep in here, Susannah, and I'll sleep on the couch." He placed the bag on a small chair in the far corner. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," he smiled and began to leave the room when I grabbed his hand.
"Wait," I said. "Jesse, I was actually hoping that, uh, we could both sleep in here. It's just that I don't really feel safe anymore, except when I'm with you," I said in a small voice. "Please?"
"Of course, querida, anything for you," he said. I smiled and hugged him.
"Thank you," I said and pulled away. "I'll be out soon." Jesse smiled and walked out to the kitchen.
I surveyed the room. Jesse had a double bed in the middle with a simple doona on top. He had a wooden chest of drawers over against the far wall and a small table beside his beside his bed on the far side. On top lay a lamp, book and a photo in a frame. I crossed the room and picked up the photo. It was of us on my eighteenth birthday, taken when we weren't looking. It was a few minutes after I had opened my present, a gorgeous heart necklace with a small diamond on the front and the words Mi Querida engraved into the back. I smiled, remembering that night, before realising that I hadn't worn that necklace since the night Paul took me. I sighed and replaced the photo, hoping that Jesse had the necklace.
I walked over to my bag and began to sort through my belongings. It consisted mainly of tops, shorts and underwear. I smiled as I tried to picture Andy packing my underwear. I was just replacing my clothes when I heard a voice behind me.
"Hey, Suze," he said. I chill ran through my spine as I spun around. Paul Slater was standing in the corner directly opposite me, smiling. "How are you doing?" I screamed. I heard a glass smash somewhere else in the apartment and saw Jesse burst into the room a moment later. I watched as Paul swung a fist for his face, but Jesse quickly ducked and Paul missed. He stood back up ready to fight Paul but he had already dematerialized.
Jesse quickly walked over to me. "Did he hurt you, Susannah?" he asked, his voice full of concern. I shook my head and he wrapped his arms around me, trying to soothe me. "Shh, querida, its alright. He's gone. Everything is alright," he whispered. But deep down inside, I knew that everything wasn't alright: this was just the beginning.
Hours later, Jesse and I had gone to bed but I hadn't been able to sleep. I kept picturing Paul's face every time I shut my eyes. I knew that it didn't matter where I was, Paul could find me. And that the longer I stayed with Jesse, the more danger that put him in. I couldn't help but think that something was going to happen to Jesse and it was going to be my fault.
Suddenly I knew what I had to do. I silently crept out of bed and grabbed some clothes. After changing, I wrote a note and left it where I had been sleeping. I grabbed my bag and touched my necklace. Asking for it had been the only words I had said after Paul appeared in the appartment. Jesse had removed it from his pocket and placed it around my neck.
I knew that by distancing myself from him as much as I could would protect him and I knew I was making the right decision. I took one last look at Jesse, memorizing every last detail about him, before whispering a final goodbye to Jesse and leaving him forever.
A/N: What did you think? I know it was longer than the last chapter, but I prefer it this way. Please review! It motivates me to write the next chapter quicker. REVIEW!!