A/N- firstly, this is what I have to say about Sara being written off the show: 'La lalala LA not listening!! LA LA lalala!!!' secondly, thank you so so sooooooooo much to everyone who's been reviewing. You guys seriously stimulate my muse : ) I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter : )
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Sara glowered into her tea wishing she could have a cup of coffee to soothe her nerves.
He was late. She supposed they should have set a specific time…but they'd said after shift, and she knew how long it took to get to the diner from the CSI building. The first five minutes, she let it pass. The next five she was beginning to feel a bit antsy. The last seven minutes she'd been becoming peeved steadily on her way to angry. Had he changed his mind? How could he change his mind? God, would he actually just leave her here, wondering? Would he just when she thought…
Sara's inner tirade was interrupted when the diner's front door opened with a jingle of bells. And there he was. He was wearing the same clothes he'd had on in his office; his hair was ruffled as though he'd been raking his fingers through it. He looked absolutely delicious. Damn hormones. Damn him.
When he spotted her his face brightened, a crooked smile shaping his lips. Sauntering through the restaurant he slid into the booth opposite her.
"Sorry I'm late." His rough voice sent a shiver down Sara's spine. Looking to the waitress he ordered a cup of coffee, when she walked away he turned his gaze back to Sara. "I got held up a bit."
"No problem." Like hell.
An awkward silence fell between them, neither one sure how to continue. They both began speaking at the same time, only to stop and let out a laugh full on tension. Sara motioned for Grissom to continue.
Grissom ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "Listen, Sara … I … I'm not sure exactly what to say here. This situation is totally unprecedented to me. This is new and untried for me, but you have to believe I want this baby. I don't want you to leave. Please."
Perhaps it was the 'please', or the earnestness in his face, the honesty in his voice, or maybe a mix of all three, but Sara's anger and annoyance escaped her.
Sara licked her lips, thinking carefully. "I'll stay. I said I would. I'm willing to give this a try. But Griss ... I need to know that you're doing this because you want to, not because of obligation. My father didn't want me, and he made that very clear to me. I can't—I won't have my child grow up with a parent that doesn't really want them."
Grissom stared at her, amazement and confusion warring his features. "Didn't I just say I wanted the baby?"
"Yeah, I know. But I just need to make sure. I grew up…you know how I grew up. I don't want that for my kid."
"Our kid." He corrected. "God Sara, Of course I want this baby. Not out of obligation… or, or, any misguided sense of duty. I want it because it's ours, Sara." His voice was so tender, Sara yearned to slide in next to him and cuddle up to his side. But of course she stayed on her side, he on his.
Sara let out a deep breath. "Okay, then. I mean, staying here seems to be the best thing to do right now."
His face lit up. "Thank you, Sara. Really."
Sara smiled at him impishly. "Well, you'd have taken me to court, right?"
Grissom laughed, unembarrassed. "Sorry about that. I just didn't know what else to do."
Sara raised an eyebrow. "So you were bluffing?"
Leaning forward in his seat, he placed a hand softly over hers. "I don't know," He began softly. "I think I did mean it. Seeing your resignation made me realize some things. I don't know if there's anything I wouldn't do to try to keep you from leaving."
Sara felt her heart expand, but rationality was quick to dampen the tendril on hope. She slid her hand away from under his. Grissom watched her move away from his touch, his smile faltering. "Listen Griss, I'm feeling a bit confused about what's going on here. I mean…the kiss." She flushed slightly. "And, um, the touching. Just…what's going on?"
"Well, we love each other. And were having a baby. It's kind of logical we, um, date."
Sara narrowed her eyes. "You want to date."
Grissom eyed her stiffening body posture, feeling suddenly unsure of himself. "Yeah. I mean … don't you?"
Sara stared at him for a moment, not speaking. "So what you're saying is that now we're having this baby, it's more convenient for you to date me."
"Yeah. I mean, no! That's not what I meant at all."
"Then tell me what you meant."
"I love you, Sara. I want to be with you. Yes, maybe now it's a bit more … convenient … but I … fuck, this is coming out all wrong …" He trailed off, his eyes pleading with her to understand.
Sara felt her heart tear a little bit more. She hardened her features. "What about Sandra?"
Grissom blinked. "What?"
"You're dating her, aren't you?"
"We never … I mean, we went on a couple dates, but we weren't dating."
Sara stared down at her empty mug. "I see. Grissom, call me emotional, hormonal, or anything else, but excuse me for having a problem with you wanting to date me now that our previous relations can't be kept a secret anymore."
Grissom flinched inwardly at her cold voice. "Sara, you know I didn't mean that."
Sara held up a hand, making him silent. "You never do, do you?" She paused, closing her eyes, opening them she looked at Grissom. "I'm sorry, but I just can't do this. I'm staying. I haven't changed my mind about that. But you and me … you hurt me very badly these past few months, Griss. I can't pretend it didn't happen. I do love you. But you hurt me…and I'm just not ready to consider a relationship … like that with you right now." She bit her lip, considering. "It's kind of ironic that this is what I thought I wanted. But hearing it … seeing it within my possession I know I can't take it."
"Sara, I … what can I do? What do you want me to do?"
Sara sighed softly, her heart breaking at his distraught face. "Time. Just give me time."
…
Groaning, Sara laid her head against Catherine's kitchen table.
"Good for you."
Sara sat up. "Really? You don't think I messed up?"
Catherine shook her head. "Not at all. You need to time to absorb everything. And Grissom having to wait around wondering is a major plus."
Sara raised an eyebrow. "I thought you'd be angry at me; being one of his best friends and all."
"You and I are friends too. Anyways, I've known Grissom for ages -- I know when he needs a quick swift of reality."
Sara let out a strangled laugh, wiping away a few tears. "I'm sorry," She half sobbed. "I've been so freaking emotional lately."
Catherine rubbed her back soothingly. "It's okay. Been there, done that." She handed the brunette a tissue. "How does ice cream and a chick flick sound?"
Sara looked up at her friend through blurry eyes. "Perfect."
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tbc