Chpt 2

Ryan POV

Marissa was being so weird lately he just didn't know what she was thinking anymore, hell had he ever.

Ever since Johnny's accident it was like they couldn't talk about anything that didn't revolve around Johnny. She was always saying things like will Johnny like this or do you think Johnny would want me to…?

Never ending. Seth told Ryan that he was probably just over reacting. Seth told him he had to try and understand, no matter how Johnny had felt; he was still one of Marissa's best friends and he had nearly died. Best friends? So what was Ryan to her? Didn't Marissa pick him?

Ryan felt like Marissa had been lying to herself that night and was still doing it even now but he wasn't prepared to let her go yet. Ever since Ryan had got to Newport, Marissa had always been there but now there was this massive gulf between them, so much that Ryan couldn't bear to see her pine over Johnny because he knew that was why she had acted so strangely.

She had been at the hospital by his bedside everyday but then as soon as he woke up she had stopped going, what else could that have meant?

I love her, he thought, doesn't she love me anymore?

Ryan thought that she blamed him for not catching Johnny when he fell. He remembered reaching out for Johnny's hand and trying so hard to grab onto anything but their fingers had just brushed past each others.

He had been too late; Johnny's body had just lain there, unmoving. Ryan thought Johnny had been dead. For a few moments he could've sworn that Johnny had looked just like Trey.

Ryan has thought his heart had stopped beating but his vision had cleared and he had remembered it was Johnny lying down there not Trey. Sometimes looking back Ryan thought he remembered thinking if Johnny's dead, Marissa will love me now.

He didn't know whether he had thought that but it still didn't change the fact that things were not right between him and Marissa. He had to do something, so she wouldn't leave him; he had never loved anyone as much as he loved Marissa.

He wasn't about to let her go without a fight. Not this time.