Chpt 4
Johnny ran all the way from Marissa's down to the beach, the one place he felt at peace.
Johnny didn't know what had come over him, he had gone to see her and explain everything but when she had gotten home, she had avoided his eyes.
She didn't want him there and he had felt so stupid. How could he have been so blind, she hadn't come to the hospital because she felt anything for him but because she had felt guilty about the accident.
What an idiot.
He had stilled hugged her though, he couldn't not. If this was the last time he was going to see her, he wanted to remember how she felt next to him once last time. He loved her and she didn't love him back, it was that simple at least it had been at the time.
After his big speech he had turned to run but in the last moment he had caught a glimpse of her face, sadness. He had thought she would be relieved not sad, he was saving her from having to tell him that she loved Ryan not him. So why would she be sad?
Johnny sat down on the beach and it occurred to him the last time he had been at the beach, he had had the accident.
This time he was alone, no Caitlin to confuse him, no Ryan to show the world how great he was and no Marissa to choose Ryan instead of him. Looking out at the waves Johnny was reminded of his love for surfing, how peaceful it was yet at the same time scary as hell, he loved the thrill. He needed to get back out there, maybe get on the tour next year.
To hell with Marissa, he wasn't going to fall apart like last time. This time, he was going to make it without her.