A/n: Ok here is now the hopefully funny version of what happens to Bella every 28 days. This nothing really to do with the story really it's just for fun!

Chapter 6. Once a Month

BPOV:

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was sitting on the toilet in need of 'supplies' but of course being at a vampire's house there were none.

"Ummm!" I cried out. Edward and his family had gone hunting but Rosalie had stayed to watch me.

"Rosalie!" I called out my voice wavering.

"What!" she called from somewhere in the house.

"Could you come here for a moment?" I heard her pointedly drag her feet up the stairs.

"Wh..." she froze in mid sentence.

"Bella…are you bleeding?"

"Ummm, yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"It's a girl problem." I said I was so embarrassed that it felt like my face was going to burn off. I gave Rosalie a moment to contemplate this information.

Rosalie burst out laughing. "Are you serious!" she laughed some more taking unnecessary gasps of breath. "So do you want me to go and get Edward?"

If I could see her right now she would have had an evil smirk on her face.

"No, no, no!" I cried panicked. Of all the people I wanted to talk to least right now Edward would be the one.

"Ok then," I could almost hear the ringing of the phone, "Edward, yes its Rosalie. Oh yes Bella requests to see you at once, she's bleeding."

I heard Edward scream, "What! I'll be right there!" Rosalie laughed and said, "Bella honestly, you should have just waited for Alice, really what'd you think I would do for you besides laugh!"

"Where is she… what's wrong!" I heard Edward call from downstairs.

"She's up here!" Rosalie called. I despised every part of that inhumanly gorgeous blonde vampire right now.

"Bella, Bella, are you ok- w-why do I smell blood?"

"Ok Bella, I'll just leave you with your 'dearly beloved'" Rosalie snickered and then walked out of the room.

"Rosalie, what's wrong with her?" Edward asked concerned.

"Oh don't worry she'll tell you." Rosalie chuckled and half skipped down the staircase by the sounds she was making.

"Bella you know you can tell me anything?" he sounded concerned. So despite how scared I was and embarrassed mostly I decided to try and give him a hint.

"I-It's a girl problem…"

"Problem! Oh no, I'll call Carlisle!"

"No-no don't!" I squealed! If Emmet ever found out about this he would never let me live it down, or Jasper, oh no what would Alice say!!! I was too late he was already talking to Carlisle in a frantic voice.

"Carlisle," he had him on speaker phone, "Bella is bleeding she says it's a female problem! What do I do?!?!"

"Ok first calm down, second you need… to go to the grocery store an…"

"Wait Carlisle, did you just say grocery store?"

"Yes, yes, you need to get to the grocery store, go to the aisle where there are a bunch of woman and ask for… ummm…'Maxi Pads'."

"Oh, I ummm, I knew I mean…"

"It's ok Edward." Carlisle said.

"Bella, I'll be right back!"

EPOV:

I walked to an aisle and walked up to a woman with short brown hair.

"Hi, I need some Maxi Pads." I admitted. The woman looked like she was going to have a heart attack. She grabbed a box behind her and gave it to me.

I walked up to the cashier, "I'd like to purchase these please."

"Ummm dude, are these for you!" I gave him a glare that said it all. He checked me out quickly and I ran at vampire speed to Bella.

"Uh, here you go." I opened the bathroom door for a fraction of a second and threw in the box.

BPOV:

I couldn't believe this had happened to me!