with weak knees /
somebody said that Keanu Reeves/
sucked in the Matrix and his performance didn't please /
Ryou, please /
Won't you saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave me?
Wow, I'm horrible at making up songs. Maybe there's something to this Eminem guy after all. But I could probably just rob him of his lyrics in the event that I actually develop an inferiority complex. Of course, an inferiorty complex is based on a clandestine ego and the phobia of humility. Since my boastfulness is no big secret (not to brag!) and I am not afraid of humiliation this shouldn't happen anytime soon. Maybe tomorrow, though. Or Thursday. I rather like Thursday.
Anyhoo, I'll get to the point. Not that this actually has a point, being a diary and all. I'm sorry, Bob, that you lead such a wretchedly useless existence. Maybe somebody will study you for psychological purposes someday in the future, though. Huh? Would you like that? That's so cute.
Ryou did decide to stay at the Ishtar's after all. This strongly supports my theory that Ryou is suicidal. We left the car in a ditch. It was actually an accident, because Ryou swerved to avoid running over a pretty little kitty. Which we're gonna keep! YEAH! We named it Maybelline after some cow that Ryou knew or something. I dunno. I do remember something about when Ryou grew up, there was a lot of cows. Maybe that's why he's so messed up. Those udders ARE pretty weird.
Don't stare at me that way, Bob! I'm not the messed up one! Ryou is! Think of it! He puts marshmellows in everything he makes. He put marshmellows in Sprite and drank it without being repetant. He also put marshmellows in his family's last Thanksgiving turkey! That time was kind of fun. We got to visit the therapist afterward. I still have the guy's foot, too! Isn't that cool:D
Ryou isn't really helping decorate. Ishizu isn't either. They're both looking at the cat and fussing over it like a married couple. Now THERE'S a scary thought. I don't think I could stand being related to Marik. Well, technically I wouldn't be, but since it says on my forged documents that I'm Ryou's brother, I would be. That would suck.
(It also says in those documents, that I have severe multiple personality disorder. We get welfare because of that. It keeps my host happy because it doesn't have to pay everytime I break something... which happens a lot. Ryou can sleep at night and is capable of psychological security because each month, exactly one dollar of Japanese taxpayer's money comes directly to our doorstep.
One dollar. What is that, light, fifty yen? Seventy five? Some people on welfare blow the money off on drugs, but Ryou could blow it off on bubblegum and tiny, shiny stickers.
Hey, look Bob! I rhymed! "Tiny" and "Shiny" :D)
Anyway, this "Maybelline" character (I'm beginning to think she's a witch in disguise, because apparently she's hypnotized Ishizu and Ryou into making cooing noises. I reiterate (ooh, big word,) that they're acting like a married couple and treating that cat like a maybe) has silky, long white fur, a delicate pink nose, and pink padded paws. She also has clear, blue eyes. She's actually a very fine specimen. In Egypt we would have pretended we loved her and then sacrificed her to Bast. Yes, Bast...
"I think she should be named Bast," I tell Ryou. He looks at me weird.
"Uh, sure, that can be her... middle name."
Since middle names are always so much better than the first and/or last, I shall take this as a full compliment to my suggestion. Meaning, I'll stoke my ego for a spell. Wow, I am just so cool. I mean, I'm so great. I love me. Go me.
"Uh, a little help here!" We turn to see that baka Marik hopelessly tangled up in Christmas lights. The lights are blinking on and off, on and off, on and off. It's quite nerve-grating. I hope I can find a block of wood to rest my head against after I mutilate a tree with only my forehead.
"Odion?" Marik yelps. "Uh, help!"
". Get untangled yourself, you little nutjob," I heard Odion mutter before beaming and saying, "Yes, Master Marik!"
OO Well, that was disturbing. The angsty, yet beamish bald man has a fuse. Who knew?
"Hurry up before Nekhbet comes and eats me or something!" Marik mews complaintitively.
"Don't be silly," Ryou laughs. "There aren't any vultures within a hundred miles of here."
Then what is that I see on the window... Man, it sure looks like a vulture... Oh, but it's stuffed. Yeah. Stuffed with Yami no Marik's arm! It must be, both of Marik's are still attached (al-be-them lost within a sea of flickering red lights). Oh my Ra! What have they done to Yami no Marik!
Just then, Yami no Marik comes sneaking up behind me. He's beamish because he sees my expression. "It's a fake arm!" he said. "I twicked you!"
Twicked? How lame. I still wanna know why the Ishtars are doing Christmas in July...
Wait a minute!
1 minute later...
A lightbulb has appeared above my head, Bob! This must mean... Eureka! I have an idea! (On an off-note, wow, you REALLY sound gay when you yell "eureka" unexpectedly. I wonder if Michael Jackson yells "eureka." I bet he does. I also bet that if he did, it would be in a movie, just 'cuz the people in Hollywood know that the populus is dumb enough to pay money to see a pasty-looking pedophile prance around yelling interjections and expletives. Heck, it could be a TV series. Maybe it already is. And if it isn't, I smell a pilot.
No Bob, not that type of pilot. I meant pilot as in premier. Oh, you already knew that? Then why are you staring at me like that? You had better not be looking at me THAT way! There is no way I'm going to tolerate having a homosexual diary! No way no how! --Unless you're a Ledd Zepplin fan, than it's all in the good.)