Note: This chapter was started last year. Any sequence referring to anything scientific, if disliked, must be blamed on a woman known as "Ms. Mallek." And yes, I know that that's dangerously close to "Malik". It had me laughing all year. XD
Zzz…
Zzz…
Zzz…
But mommy, I don't want to ride the green pony! It looks like somebody's guts! It was kind of fun to squish them together, though, but next time can I eat the brains, too?
Zzz…
Zzz…
Protons are positively charged particles composed of quarks inside the nucleus of an atom.
Zzz…
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You are the worst thing to happen to theatre since Andrew Lloyd Weber!
Zzz…
Zzz…
Real men in Vietnam use extra guns.
Zzz…
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I'll never let go, Jack…
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Zzz…
Hamsters… with shovels… piloting invisible helicopters… I have to pee.
I woke up. Immediately I feared an attack by The Evil Society Made Up Of Cows And Other Things That Are Produced In Dairy, or as you'll remember, TESMU OCAOT TAPID. However, once I actually opened my eyes I found something a lot worse: Yugi's Grandpa was lying on top of me, his eyes all lazy. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth and he was drooling on me.
The worst part was when the Pharaoh's bratty vessel got a look at him. The midget started howling about how it was so unfair, and was he all right (obviously his grandpa wasn't all right; he was drooling like a mental defect on my hikari's new sweater!) and what had happened. The Pharaoh, of course, being the fair and wise and impartial JERK that he is, put it down for his hikari like this:
"It was Bakura's fault."
Ryou separated from me so he could help Yami remove me from the Chucking Cheese. He was flying off the handle, asking me how I could've NOT dodged an idiotic old gimp who was wielding a plastic knife. That knife was plastic? How come I didn't notice? Why is there only saliva on my sweater? Why doesn't Ryou have any on his?
At least Ryou acknowledges that it wasn't my fault! …He's yelling at me just the same, but there wasn't really anything I did! The big — er, short — idiot came rushing — er, shuffling — after me with a potentially dangerous (plastic) weapon! And he hit me! And then he driveled on me! ;; I could be emotionally traumatized! But does anyone care? No one but you, Jim Bob. I think I'll snuggle you right now.
…Ryou's giving me odd looks. Perhaps later. Anyway, that old coot totally humiliated me! I must kill him. His time's about up, anyway.
…EW, his saliva is in my HAIR! Ryou, I need a SHOWER!
…And of course, we just had to walk to Chucking Cheese. I suppose we really did "have" to, since our neighbor's car is still in that ditch. Apparently, as Ryou explained it, Mr. Dee's too much of a lackadaisical barfhead to even get up from the couch and call a tow-truck. Owch. What's a barfhead? Ew. In other words, Ryou thinks our neighbor is a git. That's probably why he agreed to "borrowing" his car to take to Malik's in the first place.
--Speaking of Malik, he's over there in a shoe store. Jim Bob, you might be curious as to why Malik Ishtar is in a shoe store. I shall disclose a very secret… secret, to you, Jim Bob: Malik Ishtar is buying shoes.
Oh.
My.
Ra. (Or Re, or Amon, or Amon-Re, or Pharaoh, although the Pharaoh's technically only half-god. Think of it: a half-god can't keep control of his sixteen-year-old hyperactive koala-child's grandfather long enough to keep him from jumping on me and slobbering on my hikari's (quite lovely) powder blue sweater. It's really a shame. And, yes, Jim Bob, I do think that Yugi resembles a koala. His eyes have that huge, "I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING MY BAMBOO! WHERE IS IT?" look to them. Very sweet and innocent. And mushy. Ugh.
But anyway. I think Malik just saw me. I think he saw me, but I'm not sure. He's glaring at me, you see, and scowling, and flailing his arms around. So I'm not sure if he actually sees me or if he's just trying to knock the person fitting his shoe size unconscious.
…No, he was just trying to knock the person fitting his shoe size unconscious. Go figure. Malik hates shoes. n.n Which is why I loooooooooove shoes!
Do not be alarmed, Jim Bob! I have no gone crazy and formed incomplete sentences! "n.n" is meant to look like a face! –A happy one, like when an anime character's eyes arch up or when people on the Internet substitute the shifted 6 for eyes! n.n Don't you think this face looks happy!
…Well, you're just a journal. It's not like you have the right to vote or anything. Hey, if you have a problem with it, then start some Journal's Suffrage Union, or whatever.
…Ok, now Malik definitely sees me. He's stolen some shoes (moccasins? O.O) and is heading over towards me and Ryou. I mean, Ryou and I. Darn you, English class! DARN YOU! Not that I ever went to school, mind you. I just bum off of Ryou's learning. That way I don't have to deal with Mrs. Skeever, that teacher with the disgusting wart above her lip…
Ewwwwww… Just thinking about that porky lady makes me want to shudder. Or chunder. Or shudder while I chunder, which would look very interesting.
…Malik just punched Ryou in the nose. Malik, why did you do that?
…Ryou does not owe you money. What kind of a currency is a knut? What's a galleon? What do you mean, you bet your Firebolt away during the Quidditch World Cup?
Why do I get the feeling that Malik's being an incredible geek? And why am I suddenly hungry for jelly beans?
Anyway, Ryou just ran away from Malik, probably to find something to stop his nosebleed. I, for one, didn't think he found Malik that attractive. What's that, Jim Bob? You think that Ryou's nose is bleeding because Malik punched it? Eh, what do you know, you're a book. –Owch. I bet that stung, huh? Hehehe.
Now Malik and I are free to do whatever dastardly things we so desire! We can even poke old people! Or we can go to Hot Topic and steal stuff! Or we can drag the old people into the Hot Topic and poke them there while Malik picks out a new skirt — er, shirt — to buy! In fact, that sounds like a great idea!
…Except we can't find any old people… Seriously, it's like they all just suddenly disappeared. Is it because of the "I Hate Old People" T-shirt that Malik is wearing, which portrays an old man getting beaten by a stick figure wielding a stick? How does that work, anyway? The stick just looks like a part of the stick figure's arm. But I…. digress. (Ooh, fancy-schmancy word! Yeehaw.)
Malik and I can't find any old people… so maybe we should just grab the next person we know and who would be too afraid to sue us, cover them in green paint, spin them around until they're about to throw up, and then dump them into a large water fountain for everyone to laugh at!
…And here comes Weevil. -
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REVIEW! You know you want to! I do not own Family Guy, nor the "witty" acronyms thought up by Ms. Mallek to help me remember certain things in IPC. I also don't own the Titanic, Chuckie Cheese, Harry Potter, or Hot Topic. I certainly don't own Ms. Mallek. Oh, and I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. …But I do own the (lack of) plot for this story, as well as TESMU OCAOT TAPID! So review! Review! Review… (passes out from lack of air)