I do not own Godzilla. Who would want to own Godzilla? You'd have to feed him like, all of Rhode Island everyday. I also don't own Adam Sandler, Waterboy, or Captain Insane-o. Cologne is from Ranma 1/2 and therefore is property of Rumiko Takahashi.

So now, Jim Bob, I have my money. This is fantastic. If I chibify my host, then there is no way that he can keep me from leaving the house when I'm grounded! Mwahahahahaha!

"You're grounded!" a very obnoxious, ugly-sounding voice says. Wait, I know that voice.

3rd person perspective

Bakura looked up and sniffed indignantly at the Pharaoh. "So what?" he demanded.

"It's just that you're out of the house anyway," Yami pointed out.

Bakura blinked his chocolate brown eyes. "So I am," he grumbled. "Not that it's any business of yours, Pharaoh."

Yami held up his hands defensively. "I'm just saying," he said. "Just saying..."

Bakura narrowed his eyes, wondering just what on pirate potty island was making the highly-esteemed King of Games act… "nervous…"

"YAMI!" What was surely a lung-bursting scream made the Earth rumble beneath the two powerful spirits' feet.

Bakura's journal again!

Amon-Re! The Pharaoh's monkey host just let loose a cry like Godzilla! Yami looks extremely nervous now. In fact, he looks... he looks scared! H-ha ha ha.

Oh, Ra! The midget's coming outside. And he looks steamed! In fact, steam is coming out of his ears, and... o.o; Is his hair drooping?

It is! H-ha ha ha ha ha! It looks like a wilted flower partially melted on his head. And he's screaming his head off at Yami. Yami turns his head in fear, and--

AAAAAAGH! I'm being blinded by the Pharaoh's monstrous hair!

--------,-------- It's so SHIIIIIIIINY! I'm blind!

I think the Pharaoh put waaaay too much hair gel in today. What's that, Jim Bob? What are you saying?

...Oh, yeah, that's right; nothing; you can't talk. I forgot. No offense or anything. I know you still have a soul...

Anyway, I think that's what Yugi's screaming about. He seems really, really upset. Like Godzilla. Ah, my ears! His screams are like... loud or something... oh, like nails being scratched against a chalkboard. Ryou's teacher in 4th grade totally did that. It was awful. One time, a kid's eardrums actually popped and he ran out of the room screaming bloody murder. Nobody could figure out why he was saying that, though. What did "Bloody Murder" have anything to do with nails across a chalkboard?

"Yami!" the oh-so-short one screams. "You used all the hair gel, you--"

O.O My, my. I didn't even know the Pharaoh's brat knew that sort of invective. Maybe he, too, has been listening to da RAP! That CD, after all, was the Pharaoh's to begin with, so it seems only natural that the idiot picked some of those words up. Maybe Yugi listens to the voices as well...

Now that kid is charging the Pharaoh! O.O He's like Adam Sandler in Waterboy! ...He just pulled a Captain Insane-o move, too! The Pharaoh's down! Yugi is... wow... is it healthy to chew jeans?

Since when did the Pharaoh start wearing jeans, anyway? ...EW! His legs! I'd forgotten how hairy they are. My leg hairs are BLONDE! They blend in with my perfect skin. I should pose.

...I'm posing.

Yes, I am hot. There is no one as hot as me. ...Except, perhaps, Ryou. He's close, I guess. But not really. He doesn't have that certain charismatic je ne sais quoi, even though he's sort of a scion of mine. That is, my descendant, heir, kin, progeny. He's kind of like a femmy spin-off of myself. After all, I am 200 certain that I do not look anything like a girl.

I throw my miniature thesaurus at the Pharaoh, turn, and run away laughing my head off. Now I have the sixty dollars I need to--oh, wait, I already went over this. Well that's repetitive. -.- Uhm...

So, yeah. I'm running. But I already said that. Also repetitive. Anyway, the thing with the Pharaoh and the hair gel is disturbing. I love my hair. It's naturally fluffy and requires a minimal amount of shampoo! Even back in Ancient Egypt, where I didn't really bathe very often... ok, so this one time, I went like a month without bathing... but that's because one of my victim's bled in the bucket where I was keeping my water. Gross.

Luckily Yugi lives close to my host's apartment. Well, not really, but I run pretty fast. Alright, so I'm making a little old lady give me a piggyback ride. She looks rather ugly, though... Her nametag says "Cologne." Ew, she's gross. Oh, here's Ryou's apartment!

...She wants me to PAY her? O.O What does she think I am, some kind of honest person? Just because she got me here in 1/100th of the time it should've taken an old lady to, that doesn't mean I owe her anything!

Ok, I sent her to the Shadow Realm. No problems now! n.n

So, Jim Bob, here I climb up the stairs. There's this thing called an elevator, but it's really only for cripples, invalids, and people that flee there in terror of me. n.n

What's this! O.O I hear music behind our door! Gah!

...What in the name of Osiris...? o.O