:) Yay! Five reviews for the last chapter! Thanks y'all! When I started this chapter, it was only November, but the Christmas spirit was already here, probably because it was so much colder here than it usually is. Anyhoo, who the heck wants to listen to me? You're all here for…
Bakura, Bakura,
With his awful theme song!
Bakura, Bakura,
It's only this long!
Thaaaaank gosh.
…Yeah, I seriously just did that. I hope this chapter is great, Bakura-centric, has a cameo from a character from a different anime, and may even make you LAUGH! How hard remains to be seen! ON WITH THE FIC!
Sour Schuyler presents… a soliloquy, by Bakura, on the subject of buses and other things.
The time is 1:11. I've been on this forsaken bush for an hour, and—
Ryou just pointed out that I just wrote 'bush' instead of 'bus.' Oh, so I did. Heh, riding on a plant. That would be funny. Maybe it would be one of those large hedges cut to look like a giant animal! I could've been riding in a leafy giraffe, or a platypus! …Do they make hedges shaped like platypuses? …They shouldn't.
Anyhoo, so it's 1:12, which means I've been on the bus about an hour. I think the bus driver is new, because he keeps frantically pulling out this gigantic map and glancing at it instead of paying attention of the road. This map is just about the size of… oh, say, Rhode Island. It's seriously about that size. When he folds it back up, (taking both hands off the wheel to do so,) there are so many folds that, if the folds were pages, it could be a copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I had no idea Domino City was that big.
-
It's now around 1:32. I've kind of been staring outside the windows for the past twenty minutes… it's a really dark blue out. The window's are in poor condition, I guess; I can't really see the neon lights. Or maybe we're in Mimetown, or Gothtown, or one of those –towns were there's very little color and everything is dark and I could be out there stealing from people by the dozens and nobody would ever know… he he he…
Now it's 1:33, and… crud! This crazy guy just swerved! He's got that stupid map out, too. Did I write about how big it is? The letter M in the phrase Main Street is as big as the old man's head. Great gods…
So… what else can I talk about? Hmmmmmmmmmmm…..
-
Hmmmmmm…. It's 2:33. I've been thinking of things to think about. And I've actually come with some… for one: why is it called a bus? Ryou said he thinks it's because it busses people around, but to buss somebody means to kiss someone, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not traveling on a giant set of lips. And don't you bus a table? What's with that? And why isn't the plural of bus in German 'Busen'? Adding –en at the end of a word in German makes it plural… so what's up with busen? Is it just that way so German women can have fun slap unknowingly inappropriate tourists?
There's this kid sleeping on the bus, sitting across from me… some guy with glasses. Ew. Glasses could carry nose-germs!
Why do people sleep on buses? The seats are so incomfortable… or discomfortable… or whatever the opposite of comfortable is… Things like that aren't important. Duel Monsters cards are important, not good grammer.
These buses have the seats pointing towards the middle of the bus. It's not like a school bus, where you can lean against the seat in front of you and snooze. I guess on school buses people sleep because they have to get up so darn early. That makes sense… actually, why would kids get up and drive to school, when they could get into so many awesome car accidents because they're sleepy, when they could just ride the bus and sleep for an extra half hour or however long it takes for their bus to get to school? I guess they could sleep in later if they drove to school… but then they'd be sleepy when they drove to school. They could get into a car accident. Worse yet, they could get into a car accident and I wouldn't be there to see! The fact that that somebody's probably in a car accident right now and I'm not there to see it depressing… in fact, is cusks. …I meant to right it sucks. Darn Ryou for only having a pen in his pocket.
You know, when I write things "in italics," I just turn my notebook at an angle so the word will be at an angle, but when Ryou writes "in italics," he writes in this girly, curlicue cursive. HIS HANDWRITING IS GIRLY.
…His handwriting's just fine, he says. What a girl. HE HAS NO SHAME.
-
It's 2:45. And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round… round and round… round and round and hey… wait a minute, I can't see the wheels on the bus. I'm inside of it. Eh. How does the rest of that song, go?
(Ooh, I think an author's note goes here:P I had to go and look up the lyrics on the Internet because I forgot them. Pity the loss of my childhood memories!)
…I asked Ryou, and he said something about swipers… I think he's thinking about Dora the Explorer… It's kind of gangster, how they say her name, isn't it? Dora the Explora'. As if Joey was saying it, or something. Just to make it rhyme. …Ohhhh, WIPERS. Ok. The wipers goes swish swish swish… swish swish… wait, it's not raining.
…JUST as I wrote that, Jim Bob, it started pouring! O.O I am MAGICAL!
So, Ryou says that after the wipers go swish, the horn goes beep. …Hm…
"HEY, BUS DRIVER!" I shout down the aisle toward the harried man. Harried is a cool word, isn't it?
"WHAT?"
"LOOK OUTSIDE!"
He puts down the ENORMOUS map (did I mention the map yet?) and sees the car in front of us! And there's a bumper sticker… and it says… "Honk if you love Global Positioning Systems!" ……Okay then…
And the bus driver honks the horn sooo loudly, that the boy across from me starts and his glasses fall to the ground. Ewww. Glasses. The glasses go clink clink clink, on the ground… in lieu of money, which was next in the song.
Skipping the part about the driver saying "move on back," we can go right to the part where this boy cries! Hooray! I shall enjoy this.
…He's not crying. He doesn't care about his glasses. …They aren't broken. NOTHING EXCITING IS HAPPENING ON THIS BUS!
The Bakura on the bus says sh—
"Stop," says Ryou. - -# Ryou's no fun. I'm sick of this song now.
-
…….
…
…The wheels on the bus go round and round…
It's 2:55 and I still can't get that song out of my head. Although I guess 10 minutes isn't very long. …Although I bet that would be too long for Homer Simpson to wait for a donut.
Wait a minute, when did I watch the Simpsons? …Did I watch the Simpsons? Ryou says that I didn't, but I know about Homer from him. So he's watched the Simpsons.
…No, Duke watched the Simpsons and then explained it to Ryou, who heard about it from Yugi, because Tea was talking about it one day in school, and she heard about it from Mokuba, who was in America and saw a commercial for it and noticed that everyone had yellow skin. Well, now that that's cleared up…
Why does Homer say "D'oh"? Is he advertising PlayDoh? …
…Omigosh…
Jim Bob…
IMAGINE YUGI'S HAIR MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF PLAYDOH!
It would slide off of his head, and then we could recycle it into PlayDoh spaghetti! …Why is it spelled Play-DOH, anyway? Is it a law that small children cannot know how to spell the word DOUGH? It's like a drive-THRU. It's a government conspiracy, I tell you. They're trying to make the people more dumb…er.
…If Yugi's hair fell off, how would he keep his image? O.o Leather pants are NOT enough to make it seem… eh… Yugi-ish. I guess he could make PlayDoh hair. Bald people with PlayDoh hair… practicing karate at a PlayDoh Dohjo… I want to play with PlayDoh now.
…You know what? I want to poke the guy across from me. Stupid idiot… doesn't even cry when he drops his glasses… what kind of a sissy is he?!
So I lean as far as I can across the aisle, and only just manage to poke his knee.
He looks up at me and blinks. "Can I help you?" he asks.
…Crap. I didn't think of anything to say. I point dramatically at him and freeze. He raises his eyebrow.
"Yes…?"
"WHO ARE YOU!?!?"
He does that anime-faint thing. Or maybe he just faked it. Making it an anime-feint.
"I am… moving to another part of the bus."
"…That stinks," I say.
"Are you really that desperate for conversation?" Ryou and this guy both say at the SAME TIME. Pretty creepy.
"…No, not really. Actually, I don't care. Get away from me." I lean back and cross my arms, and put on my "mug of indifference." That's a face, not a coffee mug, Jim Bob, so you don't have to be scared. I know you're afraid of coffee stains…
"What are you writing?" this kid asks. So I tells 'im:
"I'm writing something about how I, the Darkness, will gain the seven Millennium Items and defeat the Pharaoh!"
Hey, he's not looking at me as if I'm crazy! He looks… mad.
"What are these Millennium Items!? Are you going to steal them from a museum? …Are you Dark?"
"…It's kind of rude to comment on my skin color, but no, as you can see, I'm quite pale."
"Don't play dumb with me!"
"…Whatever." I think I'm going to ignore this guy…
-
It's 3:00! …And that guy is glaring at me… In my mind, I can hear Ryou yawning. If he were propererly (that means more properly!) awake, then he would probably be glaring at me too. He doesn't like getting up early, either… but the earlier you are, the easier it is to steal from people.
Why is that guy glaring at me? Who is 'Dark'? I'm the darkness… He must be crazy. I thought only old people were crazy… which could explain why I'm crazy... Just a tad, though. I'm somewhere in-between 3,000 and 5,000 years old, depending on whether you're listening to 4Kids or you happen to know that Pharaohs didn't rule 5,000 years ago. 4Kids is dumb.
Anyway… yeah, old people are crazy. Which is why they shouldn't be allowed on buses. Yugi's grandpa, for example, shouldn't drive a bus. …Or, for that matter, drive one. Or drive anything. I saw that man drive a go-cart once… it was scary… this little girl's pigtails were ruined, and her go-cart sustained substantial damage…
He doesn't seem to care though. He has no guilt. And he's shifty! And he looks around with his beady… okay, so no Motou has beady eyes… but he looks around with his eyes like a sneak, and then sometimes I swear he clamps his teeth together in a pattern, trying to communicate with the squirrels. Maybe he's making an alliance with the squirrels? Hopefully not a malevolent one, like the one the cows have with animals that make similar dairy products… the camels are in on it… the CAMELS are in on it!
Hey, that guy IS moving to another seat… Jerk. Just because I'm gesturing wildly with one hand, and writing furiously with the other, DOESN'T mean I was necessarily bothering him!
…Oh, he's trying to help the loser bus driver with that ridiculous map. The one that's so ENORMOUS. The lowercase letters on it are the size of my hand—no, Yugi's hand. …Yes, Yugi has large hands… all the better to tackle you with, my dear. …Wait… what?
Hm… Jim Bob, if I'm writing too hard on your surface or something, tell me. I know I usually do… hurting you… abusing you… You're so unlucky. :( No matter WHAT Neko-Kikiru says. How did I get on the subject of writing hard? …I guess because Yugi has big hands… or… something.
…Why did the bus just stop?
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…It is 3:30. That kid and the bus driver are trying to figure out the gigantic map, and they've stopped the bus to do it. I guess because I'm the only other passenger, they figure it doesn't matter. This has to be the most ghetto bus ever.
-
…It's 4:00. I'm getting off this bus. Let somebody else think about buses or busen or whatever for awhile. I walk down the aisle… (no, I'm not getting married!) and push that kid into the bus driver.
"Let me off!" I yell. The bus driver looks at me with large eyes, and opens the door. I hop off and find myself in…
Sooo… the anime character cameo was Satoshi Hiwatari from DNAngel… I just kind of randomly put him in there…
Gimme at least 6 reviews or Bakura will NEVER get his chibifier! That's a promise!