So… 3 reviews isn't so bad for Christmas break. :) Thanks to you 3! You know who you are. Anywaaaaay… I'm here to nag again about my story "Playing House". Maybe it's the summary that sucks? It was a really, really fun story to write. It's a crossover between Yu-Gi-Oh, Inuyasha, and Full Metal Alchemist mostly, with side characters from all over the place, from Sonic to obscure things like 12 Oz Mouse. Anyyyyyyyhoo, my penpal and I work really hard on it, and I would REALLY love it if it got a couple of reviews a bit faster than the rate it's been getting them at. So I'm not going to update this again until that's got a couple of reviews as well, okay? Remember that now.
Sooooo… I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I also don't own Nine Inch Nails, NWA, H.I.M. or their songs, the song "Guilty Conscience," Carl or anybody from Aqua Teen Hunger force, Jean Girard (who's got a cameo in this chap), "No One Else" by Weezer (I'm not even sure why that is in here), Monty Python references, OR the fanfiction I mention in the author's note you're probably going to skip over when you come to it. I own the other stuff, I suppose.
Thanks to my friend Ashley for looking this over a bit during lunch!
I banished Ryou to his soul room. Now he should shut up. …Don't look at me like that, Jim Bob. …Yes, you can look at me, because I pasted googley eyes on your front. I also drew a mole on your back cover with sharpie, like I promised to a few chapters—er, awhile ago. You're more "personable" now.
So… where am I now? I kind of lost my train of though… uhhhhhh…
…
…
Uhhhhh…… Hey, a bead! I'm picking it up, Jim Bob, and I'm putting it in the spiral part of you that makes you a "spiral notebook"! My hand is underneath the bottom, so it won't fall out.
…Where was I?
…
…
Uhh……
Oh! Frenchtown. …I'm in it now! That was easy. I guess the author wants to the plot to move forward some more—I mean, uh, uh… there is no author! THERE IS NO SPOON! MY LIFE IS NOT DICTATED BY ANYBODY!
Anyhoo, so now I have to find the headquarters of the company that sells the Chibifier 5000 that I saw in Psycho Monthly magazine. Do I capitalize the 'm' in magazine? …I doubt anyone cares… It's not as if people are reading this, anyway… only you, Jim Bob, know of what is written here. And Ryou, for bits of it. Anyway, no to find the Chibifier 5000.
"The what?!" is what he would say if he were here.
"Nothing…" I would say. Heh, I think I would scare him. Yes, I'm scary! Scary like a song by Nine Inch Nails. Although Ryou might say I'm more scary like NWA… But then I would tell him to shut up, and then he would start talking about ponies or something, and I would have to send him to the Shadow Realm and I'd be right back at where I started in this entry.
The building, as it turns out, looks a lot like the building in that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force when Carl is turned into a girl. …Not that it's made of the same material, but that it's a rainbow-y color. …Oh wait, that's not it… thank goodness. I didn't want to go in there if it was that building. Ryou's been afraid to even buy a medium soda ever since seeing that episode.
Les Fieres, as it turns out, has its headquarters in a very square-shaped, seven-story high building that seems to squat low to the ground despite its height. And it's made of concrete-looking-ish material. I am good at describing things. Ph33r meh!
…And as I see the giant redwood door, (at least, I think its redwood… because it's red, and it's made of wood,) "No One Else" by Weezer gets stuck in my head. Why?! I heard that song once on the radio, and… that was in the 90s! Ryou was like… how old? Gah… This is weird. I hate it when this happens. I'll have to think of another song to get this one out of my head, but then that one will get stuck in my head! Sheez…
Anyway! The door is big. And it's also locked. …But I shall get past it! Expertly!
Borin' ol' 3rd person point o' view
Bakura, the crafty thief, attempted to expertly pick the lock with a hairpin Ryou had in his pocket for a reason that will remain undisclosed. Then, failing, he tried to open the door not-so-expertly. This didn't work either. The tomb thief rattled the doorknob viciously, growling and cussing. (Shield your ears! 0o0) Jim Bob was tucked under his arm. Bakura tossed his diary—NOTEBOOK! I meant notebook, NOT a diary—on the ground. It hit the ground with a flopping sound. (That rhymes.) The small bead mentioned previously flew out of the spiral part of the spiral notebook and, defying natural physics, lodged itself into the lock. There was a soft click as Bakura opened the door.
The tomb thief blinked in surprise. "…I am so good, Jim Bob," he boasted, bending over to retrieve his di—er, journal…
And we delve back into the intimate thoughts of Bakura!
I am one bad mofo, Jimmy B. I opened up the door. I op-ened up the do-or! Op-ened up the do-or! Hoo! Haa…! …Er, anyway. Inside the door, there is a large, dark hall. It is vast, and it is very black. It is big and it is also quite difficult to see in. It is—ok, I'll stop now. A/N: This is in homage to "College Days" by Sonic19902, which I'm pretty sure has been taken down now. It kicked BUTT. This is too petty for it.
Although it is gigantic in here and there is very little light, I can hear… the voices!
I remember something Ryou said once…
"The voices, the voices/I hear them, and when they talk I'll follow/I'll follow, I'll follow them," he sang. If you don't believe me, it was in the first entry I ever made in you, Jim Bob… sadistically pressing my pen against your paper-y flesh… writing all over you and graffiti-ing your paper limbs… Muahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!
…But I still love you. :)
…
…
Yeah, Ryou's not around so I can say that.
Anyway, as much as I hate to admit that da RAP! has taught me something… I do hear "the voices" and "when I do" I do "follow." These are weird voices, though. They sound… warped in a twisted way I cannot even begin to describe. Meaning…
They sound French.
I follow the voices to the opposite wall, where I find a big door made out of… wood! I stub my toes. Oh noes. …Hey, another rhyme, Jim Bob! Or should I say… un autre…
3rd person once again! Sorry.
Bakura hides behind the crimson door/while the summer is killed by the fall/alive behind the crimson door/while the winter sings:
Er… What? It's a good song. And H.I.M. is a good artist. Shut up.
So, Bakura hid behind the particularly reddish door, which he opened just a little bit, listening to the goings-on in the room next to him. There was a long table, made of nice wood, and there were a group of (presumably) executives sitting around it… speaking in French. Since Bakura does not know French, I've decided to take over and loosely translate for him. But remember, Bakura doesn't know any French… except for fromage. And, apparently, un autre.
"Nous avons vendu beaucoup de Chibifiers," said one dude. "Je ne sais pas comment." We've sold a crapload Chibifiers. I dunno how.
"Taisez-vous! Vous ne pouvez pas parler maintenant," said another. Shut up! You can't talk now.
"Pourquoi?" Says who?
"Je l'ai dit!" Me!
"Tu es le merde d'un singe stupid." You're retarded monkey's poop.
"TAISEZ-VOUS!" The dude who was most obviously the leader stood up. He was wearing the clothes of a racecar driver and sitting particularly close to the man next to him. "Vous etes ensemble les merdes des singes stupids. Et toi, la, je pense que vous resemblez un castor, alors vous pouvez etre le merde d'un castor." You're both monkey doo. And you, over there, I think you resemble a beaver, so you can be beaver doo.
"Merci." Thank'ee.
"Maintenant… qu'est-ce que c'est la raison que nous avons un rendez-vous?" asked Jean. So… why are we here?
The man who reminded the leader of a beaver spoke up. "Euh… Nous avons fait la publicite pour le Chibifer… mais Psycho Monthly ne fait pas les livraisons. Alors, on ne sait pas comment en acheter un." Well… Psycho Monthly, whom we advertise with, doesn't make deliveries. So people don't know how to buy them.
"Ca ne me plait pas," Jean replied. That sucks.
"Ouais." Yeah.
1st person! BACK TO BAKURA BABY!
…This sucks. I don't know what the heck they're saying. So I'll just bust in.
:Later:
Hey, Jim Bob! I'm back. I took a break from writing in you so that I could get my Chibifier. This is what happened!
I walked in. "Give me a Chibifier!" I yelled. The whole group of uglies stared at me. Heh. Uglies. Heh. If only they kn-knew I'd wr-written that about them, oh man how mad they would be…!
Anyway, so that's what I said… AND!
"What the heck are you doing here?" said the leader dude. Except he sounded like a… nail clipper. …No, not a nail clipper. A… dude like that! You know what I mean! (Why did I say nail clipper? O.o;;)
"I, uh…" I took out the $59.99 I'd swindled (awesome word) from Rex. "I wanna buy a Chibifier 5000."
"Yeah? So why are you here?" demanded a man who I thought looked like a beaver.
"I uhnno…" I admit I sounded like a two-year-old.
"Oh. …You want one?" this tall guy wearing a racecar driver's outfit said.
"…That's what I just said," I told him, sweat dropping. This room, like the other one, was also large and dark, so I wasn't sure, but… I think he was holding another guy's hand… but that's impossible. Race car drivers are all manly.
"Ok. That'll be $59.99 plus shipping and handling."
"But if I'm picking it up here, then it's not being shipped anywhere. So it's only $59.99."
"There's handling."
Oh, they thought they had me fooled…
"But if I pick it up myself, then you don't have to handle it." I am so smart. I. Am. God. …Hah, and Ryou's not here to tell me how bigoted I am.
"…Fine." The beaver-guy chucked one at me. "SECURITY!"
A d00d that looked like… oh my Rah… o.O It didn't just look like, it was Yugi's grandpa, in a security guard uniform… well, I ran. I ran away like a MAN! Like brave, brave Sir Robin! And, uh, that's what happened.
…This is going to be kept between us, 'kay?
…Now I can chibify Ryou! …But to do that, I'm actually going to have to bring him back from the Shadow Realm. Or… I could just leave him there…
:) I think I'm going to be liking life a lot more now.
Ok… well that turned out to be a real suckfest of a chapter. So what will Bakura do without Ryou? Who will he chibify? How's he gonna find Colton's sister? I dunno… maybe if you review I could be coerced into revealing this information. Oh, and somebody PLEASE look at Playing House. Please? Come on.