Hey hey! You you! I don't like your girlfriend! I think you need a new one! …I MEAN… So, I would've updated yesterday, but the server was down.
READ THIS NOTE, IT'S IMPORTANT! In this chapter I'm going to do something I tried to do in another chapter, but decided there weren't enough outside references to do it, like the Avril Lavigne reference I just made. Sooo… my sister and mom are huge Gilmore Girls fans, and I'm not. But I know that there is a mode that you can select when watching the DVD. In this mode, every time they make a reference to something, something pops up explaining the reference. Since there are TONS of outside references in this fanfiction, I thought it might be fun to try, even though I've never watched the way it's done on the Gilmore Girls DVD.
This might be annoying, but I am aware that this story is very confusing, and I KNOW that people who read this have to have at least read ONE thing and thought, "What the heck?? What's she mean by THAT??" So, yeah. I'll try to put even more outside references in this chapter than usual. So here we go! If you want to skip over the explanations, just skip over anything like this.
Chapter 26: Domino City Trinity Police Force!!
Bakura's P.O.V.
Odion's getting out of the car. Malik and I are peering through the back window and… geez! The guy who slammed into our bumper, had somebody slam into his bumper, and that person had somebody slam into their bumper! And a bum vomited next to a stop sign nearby! And a woman is going into labor on the corner! And a thug is stealing a toddler's lollipop! You couldn't cause such a devastating massacre if Dethklok went on tour here. 1 …Ok, so that's not true, nobody's dead.But I can dream, can't I?
1. Dethklok is a band from the brutal cartoon Metalocalypse. Wherever they go, hundreds of people die for seemingly random reasons.
…Whaddya mean I can't dream?!!? Jim Bob… I'm getting miffed at you. (Yeah, MIFFED! DEAL with it!!)
So… Odion gets out of the car, trying to look cool like a cowboy. Why a cowboy? I don't know. Cowboys aren't really all that cool… especially not Woody from Toy Story. And the guy behind us gets out of the car, too.
He's a ninja. O.O
"Kuro-tan!" comes a voice from inside the car. "I told you not to tail so closely!"
'Kuro-tan' looks miffed, too. "STOP GIVING ME THOSE RIDICULOUS PET NAMES!" he screams. "I just wanna find Sakura's feather and get OUT of this world!"
"Ahem." Kuro-tan looks at Odion, who just cleared his throat, which you would know if you were paying attention.
"What?? You've never seen a ninja before??" Kuro-tan glares. Odion rolls his eyes, as if he's way too cool for this ninja person.
"That's nothing special," Odion says. "I am ninja, you are ninja, she is ninja, too!" 2
2. It's the theme song for the popular podcast, "Ask A Ninja".
"…" Kuro-tan gapes at Odion. "An entire world made of ninja?"
Suddenly a white pork-bun comes and sucks that ninja into his mouth. O.O;; Along with the car, that guy who called the ninja Kuro-tan, another boy and a young girl.
"It's like watching a messed up anime," Malik says. 3
3. The characters and nicknames are from Tsubasa, an anime.
Odion continues to look buff as other people get out of their cars. Since it is basically his fault we've got a small car pile-up here, Odion is trying to look as tough and badass as possible so that nobody will mess with him. Unfortunately for him, some people are already heading to the police department, which is RIGHT NEXT to us.
"One of you head into the police station," he growls at us, "and go tell them that is was… Kaiba's fault."
He points to Kaiba's limo, which is stopped next to us even though they should be going 'cause it's a green light. His car is no longer "brand new." Instead, now it's blasting something else:
"Catch me in a house with a 100 floors, Benz with 100 doors, walkin' out the Grammies with 100 awards," his radio blasts. 4
4. This is the song "Datz on My Mama" by Nelly and Taylor Made.
"People will hate him 'cuz he's rich," Odion insists, "and he'll just pay off the police."
"Let's go into the station," Malik says. "Looks out for zombies."
"Whatever, Claire," I say back. 5
5. In Resident Evil 2, Claire has to get to a police station, narrowly avoiding zombies to get there.
3rd person time!
Inside the police station was Officer Barbrady. Officer Barbrady suffered from depression, and not just because he hated his job (he had the same attitude about his job that a chemistry teacher had about his job; he'd rather be talking about last week's episode of House) 6 or because he hated his coworkers (although luckily the volunteer sheriff's deputy, Dwight, recently quit… only to find out that he was never really part of the force in the first place). 7 It was because he hated the people he dealt with everyday.
Right now, he was 'talking' to a mime.
6. My chemistry teacher would rather talk about house than teach.
7. This is a reference to one of my favorite TV shows, "The Office." In a deleted scene, Dwight quits the police force, and the policemen there say that he was never a part of it.
Back to Bakura!
"Hey! It's Strings!" Malik says, pulling on my shirt.
"I can SEE that," I say. "What's he saying?"
"Nothing," Malik says as if I were a moron, "he's a mime, moron."
Strings was gesturing wildly and holding a sunflower out towards the policeman. He had a large sign that read, as if it were just one in a long list of signs, "…And then they told me to wait until after their first sunflower harvest!" 8
8. A few chapters ago Ryou told Strings he would pay him after the first successful sunflower harvest. This is a reference to the movie "The Messengers," where they take on a farmhand and say they'll pay him after their first sunflower harvest. I'd just watched it when I wrote that chapter.
"Since you guys didn't make a contract, there's nothing I can do," the policeman says. …He looks a lot like that guy from South Park. Same name, too. "And since you're a mime, don't even think about suing. It'll just be too difficult."
Another sign that Strings holds up: Everyone's been talkin' all this stuff about me/why don't they just let me live?/I don't need permission to make my own decision (OH!) …It's my prerogative! 9
9. From Britney Spears' "My Prerogative"
"So you want to sue?"
Another sign: "YES!"
"Hey," says Officer Barbrady suddenly, "you've got weasels on your face… I mean, writing."
"I want to sue you!" screams Weird Al. 10
10. Weird Al sung a "song" called "Albuquerque," and in the song the first thing his true love says to him is "Hey—you've got weasels on your face."
"D'oh!" says the officer.
"Now I want to sue you!" says a small boy with a spiky, uh… head. Is that hair?
"That's MY line, boy! I'll kill you!" A fat man with a donut grabs the boy and begins to strangle him. 11
11. It's Bart and Homer from the Simpsons.
"This is boring," Malik says. "Let's go upstairs and see what's going on. What do you think?"
"You keep asking me questions—I feel like I'm in a Choose Your Own Adventure novel," I shoot back. "…Not that I've ever read one of those."
"Right. Let's go!" Malik grabs my hand.
"What are you DOING?"
"Eh? …Oh don't flatter yourself. I just thought you were taller and that I'd be grabbing your wrist. Shorty."
"I'm TALLER than you! And I AIN'T your shorty!"
"...Oh please," he says, rolling his eyes, even though he is shorter than me. Wacko.
We creep upstairs and peek into a room labeled "Domino City Trinity Police Force! - Lounge". Inside are two officers. There's a Spanish one sitting on a couch, watching a tennis match on the magic box, AKA TV. On TV, there's an angel fighting a demon with tennis. Or something like that. It's a girl playing against some guy who's licking his lips and crazily reminding me of Marik.
"That girl's hot," says the policeman. Another officer comes in—it looks like one of the guys who chased me for being a cattle rustler earlier this week!
"That's a boy, Luis."
"WHAT! Nuh-uh! Shut up, Kennedy!" 12 & 13
12 & 13. The anime is Prince of Tennis, and it's Fuji (the one who Luis is mistaking for a girl) having a match with Kirihara in episode 124. They were compared in the series to an angel fighting a demon. What a VAGUE reference. Luis and Kennedy are Luis Sera and Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 4. I love them. :)
"It's true," Leon says. "…You're a sucker for guys, aren't you?"
Luis sweat drops. "You're disgusting."
"Am not!" Leon said after shoving twenty donuts in his mouth at once. …..Ew, yes he IS!
Wait a minute, Jim Bob. If it's the Domino City Trinity Police Force, then that means there's three. Where's the third person?
…There he is. A yellow man in a police outfit comes out. The yellow thing isn't to say he's Asian or anything—I mean, his skin is yellow. 14
14. Chief Wiggums from the Simpsons.
"Ok, boys, we've got a 10-80 near the Domino City high school," this man says.
"A 10-80, Wiggums?" Leon says in disbelief, after swallowing the massive… mass of donut in his mouth in one gulp.
"You mean…?" Luis gapes in horror.
"Yes! Somebody got angry over a card game and is attacking their opponent with their leg hairs!"
"They have codes for that?" Malik whispers.
"Leg hair attacks?" I whisper back. "That sounds like…"
"THE PHARAOH!" we shout at the same time, and we scuttle off before the policemen can catch us.
LATER!
It is now later, Jim Bob, as you should've been able to discern by reading the last line. Malik and I ran all the way to Ryou's high school, where he sits through those boring math classes at seven-thirty in the morning. Poor schmuck. Anyway, just as we thought, the Pharaoh is there, wailing at Yami Marik!
Apparently the Pharaoh actually lost in a game of Go Fish, and when Y/M (that's his street name) went to claim the God Cards, (because God Cards work in Go Fish too, you see,) the Pharaoh's leg hairs elongated and become prehensile and challenged Y/M! And then Y/M's nose hairs began to grow! And now it's a battle! For some reason, this reminds me of an anime. 'Cuz, you know, only an anime would have a guy battle with body hair. -.- 15
15. BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo
"Super Leg Hair attack!" The Pharaoh screams, and his leg hairs shoot out like needles, all aimed toward Y/M's neck.
"Nose Hair Shield!" Y/M's nose hairs form a matted shield in front of his face! The washed-up Pharaoh's attacks are useless!
But the Pharaoh's laughing.
"I didn't think I would have to use this," he says, chuckling, "but I need to take you out! –TO DINNER!"
"O.O WHAT!?" Y/M, Malik and I all scream.
The Pharaoh laughs. "You fell for it! SUPER DISTRACTED ATTACK! LLLLEG HAIR ATTACK!"
-.- This battle is so stupid.
"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" Leon and Luis jump onto the scene, rolling like they just jumped out of a moving car. In fact, Luis rolls right past the Pharaoh and Y/M, and keeps going until he lands in a prickly bush.
"OW!"
Leon, however, has leapt to his feet. "Freeze!"
"Why?" Y/M challenges.
"Because… I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT WAY TO BEAT YOUR OPPONENTS AT FOOTBALL!"
Everyone does freeze.
"How?" the Pharaoh asks, awed.
Leon declares, "Everybody has to get naked!"
We look dubious, I think, because he adds, "Come on!/How they gonna tackle you with no pants on?" 16
16. A reference to one of the funniest songs by Eminem and D12, "My Ballz," a song about football (really).
"…That's brilliant," Malik admits.
"You sicko," I snap at him. "First you grab my hand, then you—"
"AHA!" Chief Wiggums leaps out onto the scene. "Come on in, boys, we're taking in this clown for kidnapping a kid for his Duel Monsters cards!" He's handcuffed to a freaky-looking clown, and Joey is standing next to them, looking frightened. 17
17. A few chapters ago, Joey was dragged into the sewers by a clown, which is a reference to "It" by Stephen King. I've never read the book and I've only seen a tiny bit of the movie, but I thought it was funny anyway. I thought I might want to bring Joey back, so now Joey is saved. :)
"You know what?" Malik says, glaring at me. "I'm bored. I'm going home, since you keep making fun of me. Besides, soon it'll be—"
"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Marik screams, suddenly in a banana costume. Who does he think he is, Shuichi Shindou? 18 & 19
18 & 19. The "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" is from Family Guy, and Shuichi Shindou is from Gravitation. He dresses up in a banana costume for no apparent reason at one point.
"Let's go home," Malik says to Marik, as if Marik wasn't about to be arrested. "We'll take the bus."
"What if God was one of us?" Marik queried. "Just a slob like one of us?/Just a stranger on the bus—"
"Don't quote that song, the author's getting tired of inserting all these explanations," Malik said.
Who's the author? The author of what?
"I hope the bus doesn't go demon speeding," Marik says.
"Don't you add in a Rob Zombie song! I SAID THE AUTHOR'S TIRED!"
Whatever. I'll go with them, too. Wait, what about the movies? Hm… I can make Marik carry me to the movies from his house! Mwahahahhahahaha! Nah, just kidding, that would be awkward.
"Wait! But you're under arrest!" Leon shouts, just as Marik and Malik scale a fence and rush out of sight. "Ohhh… So much for my happy ending!"
Is that an Avril Lavigne song, or some naughty Dave Chappelle reference? You decide, Jim Bob.
"HEY! WAIT UP!" I scream. How the hell did I run all the way to Domino High School if my legs are so beat up, you wonder, Jim Bob?
…I had Malik carry me. Yeah, it was awkward, and he got annoyed, but it was worth it just so that I could know for sure that the Pharaoh's leg hairs ARE alive. …I think they're going to give me nightmares… (Just kidding—Thief Kings never get nightmares!)
"MALIK COME AND CARRY ME!"
Like a tool, he turns around and comes to get me. Then he THROWS me over the f e nse (sorry I messed up; I wrote that while in midair) and Y/M catches me ROUGHLY. GEEZ!
"Where to?" Y/M asks, grinning.
So… was that too uber-annoying? It seemed kind of annoying. Review and tell me if it was annoying.
ONE MORE DAY UNTIL MY JUNIOR YEAR IS OVERRRR! (dances outRAGEously!) No more 1st period math! So leave a review to further gladden my spirits, or Bakura and Malik may never get to see their movie!