He was going to tell her. He'd been thinking about it for a while now and even though he knew it was too soon he wanted her to know what he wanted, what he hoped they could plan for. He sighed, made a left turn and soon spotted their small white house. As he pushed the button on his key to lock the car he was forming the words in his head. One, two, three, four steps and he pushed the door open.

"Hello?" She forgot to lock the door. Again. He couldn't't believe someone who had lived in NYC practically her whole life would forget to lock the door. It was important, for their safety… Gosh, he had never been like this with Kathy and the kids, but with Olivia it was different. And David.

"We're in here", she calls to him from the living room.

He puts the Chinese take out on the counter and makes his way to greet his little family and finds both of them on the couch; Olivia on her back with her head on one of the armrests and David on her chest. Dr Phil. Poor baby. And he means both of them.

"How was your day?" she smiles as he reaches down to her level and gently kisses her.

David looks happy to see him and he slowly picks him up. Yes, definitely. No doubt. He'll tell her later, but today. Tonight.

"Good. I… Are you hungry?"

"Yeah. You went to Dragon Palace, right?"

He nods and she gets up from her place and he follows with their 8 month old son in is arms. She grabs two plates from the cabinet and David's yellow sippy cup from the hook underneath it and fills it with water before placing it on the kitchen table in front of the high chair Elliott's placed their son in. As he puts food on their plates she tells him about the cute little jeans she bought for David and about the red Yankees cap she might buy tomorrow.

"I'll show them to you later, El. I got them at H&M so they're not too expensive", she finishes and smiles at David and carefully touches his cheek.

"You know I don't care about the money, Liv. If you feel he needed them or you even just thought they were cute I have no objections. You know I don't want you to have to ask for my permission, right? Especially when it comes to David." he replies and can't keep from smiling as David starts rambling the usual Mamamama and Dadadada.

"I know." her soft voice answers.

When their meal is finished he puts the plates in the sink and his wife changes the baby into his pajamas and continues to watch TV in the living room. As he's finished he joins them on the couch. David is almost asleep in his mother's arms as she leans into her husbands and he puts his arm around her.

"You know. I've been thinking about this… thing." he starts.

"Hm?"

"I… I want us to have another baby. I mean, not now, but… Soon."

"What?!"

He can feel her moving away from him and as he meets her eyes he can see tears already slipping down her cheeks and she's trying to hold back from sobbing. She's holding their sleeping son tightly to her chest as she's trying to take in what just happened.

"Don't you remember what happened, El?! I refuse to put myself in that situation again and I don't see that you can blame me for it!" she wheezes and David's starts to fuss in his sleep.

She gets up and walks into their son's room to put him in his crib. There she stops and looks down at the little dark haired miracle they created. Soon she feels a hand on her back and she starts to cry. He makes her turn around and holds her as she lets him know just how fragile she still is. How new this life still is to her and what a sensitive subject he's just touched.

"Honey, I'm sorry. It... I guess it was too early to bring up, but I… I wanted you to know how I feel. I love you, Liv. And I want our family to grow. With time." he whispers and he feels her arms hugging him closer to her body.

She sniffs and takes his hand in hers and lead them both our of the little room and into their own bedroom. She sits down at the edge of their bed and starts to talk.

"I'm sorry. I was just… surprised, I guess. But you know how hard it's been for me, right?" He nods. "All the therapy and physical healing… I don't know, El. I love you and God, I love David, but I'm not sure I'd be able to have another baby. Not like that."

"Honey, when you've been through something like that they monitor you and makes you come in more often. They'll know what's going on and you can even decide a date and a time if you want a doctor to start the delivery."

She smiles sadly "It's not about that. Not much. I just don't wanna take any chances. Nothing's for certain, El."

He's holding her hand and wants to understand. But he can't.

---

He never thought they would, but they made love. Now she's asleep in his arms, seeming peaceful and content. He is, too. After play is the shit when you want to talk since both are relaxed and emotionally available. He knows now, how she feels and he understands. He knows that she can see their family extended, but she's scared, traumatized after the birth of their son. She didn't think he'd understand, but he does. As well as he can. As he knows that with his trust in her (and the other way around) they will get there someday. He knows that.