"When we started dating, or hookin' up, or whatever they call it, I didn't think it would go anywhere," he spoke softly into her ear, as she lay curled up on his side, "You know, 'spend some time together. Dinner. A few drinks. Some laughs.'" he quoted himself from three years ago. "But then you just side swiped me, you took my heart, and haven't given it back."
"I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I love you so much my heart actually hurts most of the time," he admitted, he felt her inhale deeply and let out a shaky breath, another tear hitting his bare chest.
"Then why did you leave me?" she barely squeaked out.
"People I love die," he barely rasped out.
"Danny," she whispered, looking up into his light blue eyes.
"They do," he insisted, his eyes diverting away from hers. "Louie died for me, Aiden died because I didn't know what she was doing, and Rueben," he paused, trying to collect himself but he couldn't, he fell apart, "Little Rueben died because I didn't make sure he got home like he was supposed to." He let everything he still had left in him to grieve out.
"God Lindsay, I don't think I could bare it if you died too. And now we have a baby comin'. If anything happened to him, he hasn't done anythin' wrong yet. It's like havin' anythin' to do with me curses ya, and bein' my kid," he stopped talking, he couldn't say anything else.
"Danny, look at me," she said forcefully taking his face in her hands to make him look at her, "You are not a curse! We love you!" she dropped her hand away from his face, and put his hand on her belly. "Our baby is alive. I am alive. You are alive," she said looking into his eyes, "Okay."
Why did she love him so much? Why couldn't she see what everyone else sees? What did he do to deserve her?
They lay like that for a while longer, his hand on her belly, their baby actively moving at the attention.
"Dan?" she said softly.
"Yeah baby," he replied.
"Why did you come back to me?"
"Because I'm selfish. I can't live without you anymore. Seeing you every day growing bigger with my baby. Seeing how sad you were, thinkin' you had to go through all of this alone, because I got scared and left you. You thinkin' I didn't love you any more or that I never did, when that was the farthest thing from the truth."
"I was interviewing a father and he asked me if I had children. I didn't lie; I told him I had one on the way. He asked me if I loved the mother, I told him I've never loved anyone else. He asked me if I was scared I would screw it up, I told him I already did. He asked me if I could or wanted to fix it, I told him more than anything, but I didn't know how. He told me I would figure it out, and that I would make things right," he paused, for a minute to catch his breath. Then he dropped his voice a few octaves and closed his eyes, "God I hope I am."
She looked up at him with his eyes closed, and gently placed a kiss on his lips, only the third kiss they'd shared since they got back together, "You're working on it," she gently assured.