A/N: Once again thanks to all of you who read and reviewed the last chapter. It means a lot to me to hear what you are thinking! And as always thanks to Jessi for her input.

Chapter 8 Christopher

"Last week I gave you an assignment." Spencer started this week's session. "Tell me how that went."

Luke and Lorelai looked at each other with a smile.

"I take it, it went very well." Spencer said, when they both remained silent.

Lorelai nodded eagerly. "The first time we set an alarm just to be sure we'd make the thirty minutes required. But we soon found out we didn't need that alarm at all, and thirty minutes wasn't as much as we thought it would be. The further the week went on, the longer we found ourselves talking. Last Saturday we had dinner together. Luke made this wonderful spaghetti with an amazing Bolognese sauce and apple pie with vanilla ice cream for dessert and we were talking about Rory and April and about the inn and the diner and about many other things and suddenly I wondered what time it was and when I checked the clock on the microwave I realized it was almost eleven o clock."

"I'm very pleased to hear that." Spender said. "So tell me what you will do next week."

"We already discussed that." Luke said. "We decided that we want to continue this. It was really nice to sit down and spend those minutes together, just the two of us."

"Exactly." Lorelai added, and grabbed Luke's hand. Squeezing it hard. "We know that if we maybe one day get a kid together we won't have exactly 30 minutes, but the important thing is that we're talking. It made me realize how much I missed talking to him about everything. It's stupid we stopped that once we got together, because I always liked talking to him before. I knew he was always there to listen to me."

"And if she kept quiet long enough, she would always listen to me as well."

Spencer smiled. "I'm very happy to hear that. And you're right, if you have kids you probably won't have as much time for each other, but then it's even more important to keep communicating. If you're mad, please tell the other that you are and why, because no matter how well you understand each other, you're no psychics and the other can't guess what's going on in your mind."

The both nodded in agreement.

"Good, now that's settled, I want move on to today's subject. Christopher." The second those words left his mouth he saw the couple in front of them tense visibly. Lorelai's hand slipped from Luke's and she sat up straight, crossing her arms in front of her chest as if bracing herself for what was coming next. And Luke suddenly found the piece of desk in front of him very interesting. Seeing that Spencer realized what a big issue this was still hanging between them. But he couldn't help them unless he knew the entire story. "Lorelai, tell me how you met Christopher."

Lorelai closed her eyes for a second and sighed deeply. Then she looked up at Spencer. "I've known him for so long, I don't even remember when I first met him. His parents were friends with my parents for a long time so we met at functions occasionally. We became friends in junior high and in high school we became a couple. We spend a lot of time together and fantasized how it would be to escape our parent's world together. We talked about going to Europe together and leave everything behind. Back then I really hated everything that my parent's world held. The stupid functions, the kind of behavior they expected from us, and Christopher hated it just as much as I did. We rebelled against our parents together. We snuck out of the house to go to parties we weren't allowed to attend. We snuck alcohol into the house and drank secretly in our rooms or on my balcony. Sometimes smoking as well although I didn't really like that. The older we got, the closer we became."

"How about school?"

"I always paid attention in school because the sooner I could go to college, the sooner I would get out of the house. I really wanted to go to Harvard and Christopher was supposed to go to Princeton, just like his father and grandfather. In a way saying I wanting to go to Harvard was rebelling against my parents as well because my father wanted me to go to Yale, where he went. My mother went to Smith college and met my father at Yale."

"But you never went to college because you ended up pregnant."

Lorelai nodded. "Well I went to community college when I got older, but anyway. I was almost 16 when I found out I was pregnant. We were young and careless and didn't use condoms all the time I guess it was inevitable. Once I found I was pregnant I kept it a secret at first, but my mother found out when I couldn't fit in my coming out dress anymore. Lucky for me I didn't have to go to the debutant ball when they found out I was pregnant, but everything changed after that.

My parents wanted us to move in with them together. We were supposed to get married and Christopher was supposed to start working for my father's firm. He was willing to do it, but I wasn't. I knew it wouldn't be right for us to get married so I refused.

After Rory was born Chris asked me to marry him again. But I knew it wasn't right. We were too young and we already had this huge responsibility. Adding a marriage that we weren't ready for would only make things worse. So I went home with Rory alone and in the end took her to Stars Hallow to start our own life."

"How did Christopher feel about that?"

"He never said a thing. We hardly ever saw him when we were living with my parents. He was still in school and was going to start college after that. He called once in a while, sometimes sent her a post card. The first time he came to visit us in Stars Hallow was when Rory was 16. She'd seen him a few times at holidays at my parent's house. She one time spent a weekend with him when she was 13, but I ended up picking her up early because she felt homesick. Christopher didn't even seem to care.

He called her once a week. Or at least he promised he would but most of the time he didn't. And we never knew how to reach him. He moved around a lot and he always forgot to give us his most recent address or phone number. And the amount of times he forgot her birthday…."

"That must have been hard on you."

"It was hard to see my daughter disappointed over and over again. I was used to it and it proved that I was right not to marry him when my parents wanted us to all those years ago. It wouldn't have lasted. And it didn't last when we finally did got married."

"That you got married in the end shows that you got closer within time."

"Maybe a little. We at least became friends. The first time we started dating again was when Rory was 17. I thought it was a good time to start a relationship with him. He was much more responsible and seemed really committed. He promised Rory he was going to marry me. But in the end his ex-girlfriend got pregnant and he left us for her. He didn't want to make the same mistake twice and went back to her.

They got married but their marriage didn't last for long. Sherry wasn't cut out to be a mother and in the end moved to Paris and left the baby with Christopher. I went over there to help him a few times. He didn't know how to do it and I guess that's when we became friends again. Then his father died and he inherited a huge amount of money. After the funeral I went to his house and drank tequila with him to keep his mind of things and he wanted to use his money to help out Rory and pay for Yale."

"Did you tell Luke that Christopher was back in your life at that point?"

She shook her head, disappointed in herself. "I should have. But I didn't see any harm in it. I was just helping out a friend that needed me in hard times. It wasn't until Christopher showed up at my parent's vow renewal that I realized my mistake and I ended up telling Luke. Then I found out what my mother's intentions were and you know what happened afterwards."

"I always knew that Christopher was a part of Lorelai's life and he should be as he is Rory's father." Luke said, and looked at Lorelai. "I knew that one day he would come between us and that day I was proven right."

She shook her head. "Only because we let him. Him and my mother. He wasn't the man I wanted in my life. The man I wanted to be with was you."

"And yet in the end he's the man you married." The pain was unmistaken in his voice.

Before Lorelai had a chance to reply Spencer cut in. "But that was over a year later. I now know what happened between the two of you in between, but I also want to know what your relationship with Christopher was in that period." Spencer looked directly at Lorelai.

"At first I cut him out of my life completely. It wasn't until that evening he left that message on our answering machine that I heard from him again. That resulted in the fight I told you about last week, when Sookie and Jackson were over for dinner. After that he wanted to be a part in Rory's life and that was fine with me. He was her father after all. At first that was all there was. His relationship with Rory and an occasional phone call related to her. But for some reason he just entered my life when Luke and I drifted apart."

"As a coincidence?"

"Yes I think so. At least for me it was. He was there for me when I was having a rough time. He took me home after Lane's wedding."

"What happened at that wedding." Luke asked. "I know something happened, but nobody was ever willing to tell me. Not even Kirk."

"I wanted to go to the wedding alone because you were on that field trip with April, but Mrs. Kim didn't allow me to come to the wedding without a date. In the end Christopher was there so I took him. It went wrong at the party. I was completely wasted on all the tequila shots I had and I didn't really know what I was doing anymore. It was time for the toasts and suddenly I found myself on stage. I started rambling about how great it was that Lane got married and about how hard it is to get married. And then I started rambling about how it was never going to happen for me. And how everybody could do whatever they wanted on June 3rd, because I wouldn't get married that day.

Rory and Christopher took me off the stage at some point and dragged me home. It wasn't until I woke up with a giant hangover the next morning that I realized my mistake."

Then she turned to Luke. "I was so embarrassed that I said all those things in front of everyone. I went to talk to Miss Patty that afternoon and made her promise to me that you wouldn't find out. She spread the word, and everybody kept their promise. I didn't want to push you. I wanted to give you all the time you needed and I didn't want you to know how hurt I was. And I did, but I didn't want you to find out that way, so I just made sure it went away."

"So you just came to me with the ultimatum a few weeks later. As if that would make things better." Luke replied while looking down.

A few tears sprang to her. "I didn't think it would make things better, but I also didn't want things to get worse. I just didn't see how thing would ever get better for us and I at the moment I thought it was the only thing I could do. A last effort to try and make things right. I definitely know now that it was a mistake, but I can't take it back. I would do anything to take it back, that and the mistakes I made afterwards."

"You cheated on me Lorelai." He said, looking directly at her now.

She shook her head as the tears escaped from her eyes. "No! I know you feel like I did but for me we were over. That doesn't mean that it wasn't a mistake and that I don't regret sleeping with Christopher that night. It was a mistake to go there but it was the only place I could think of going. I needed a friend to comfort me but instead he took advantage of me. I'm a grown woman and I can make my own choices so I know it was just as much my fault as it was his, but I do blame him for leading me to his bed that night. I just didn't want to feel anymore. And at the moment I didn't but the next morning when I woke up in his bed, naked, I did feel and all the pain came back. I knew that by making that mistake I lost every change on ever being with you." She furiously wiped her tears away, wishing they would stop falling.

"But I didn't know we were separated so for me it still feels as if you were cheating on me."

"I know." She let a sob escape from her lips and was annoyed she couldn't stop her tears from falling. "I know that okay. And I would do anything to take it back but I can't." She sighed and took a few seconds to compose herself. After a few seconds she said. "We both made mistakes and I wish we could do it all over again but we can't. We have to live with the mistakes we made Luke. We have to forgive it each other for those mistakes, otherwise this isn't going to work. I don't see how we can get married and happily spend the rest of our lives together if this remains hanging between us. I know we can't."

"But I did forgive you. A long time ago."

"Are you sure about that Luke?" Spencer asked. "You still seem so mad."

Luke's head shot up at Spencer's words.

"Lorelai is right. You have to find a way to forgive each other and move past the whole situation. You both made mistakes and I think you're so mad at the whole Christopher situation because you've always felt threatened by him. And in the end you feel that's exactly what broke up you even though that's not true. The two of you are both equally to blame for your break-up. Last week we talked about a big part of your problem and I believe that if you had both been honest with your feelings the whole time, it never would have gotten this far and Lorelai would have never slept with Christopher and wouldn't have married him for that matter."

Luke sighed. "I know that. I just…"

Lorelai looked directly into his eyes. "I know how hurt you were when Nicole cheated on you, but I swear I didn't feel as if I was cheating on you. I hate cheaters. I told you about the fight I had with Rory after she slept with Dean. You stay away from other women's husbands or other men's wives or their girlfriends or boyfriends. And you don't cheat yourself either. For me we were over and I now know that it wasn't clear to you that we were and there is nothing I can do to change that, but please understand that I wouldn't have done it if we still would have been together."

Luke nodded. "I know that. I do know and I really did forgive you. It's just that I can't get the images out of my mind, seeing you and him together."

Lorelai looked at Spencer for help, not knowing how to make this right.

"You'll have to try. Everybody comes with baggage in a relationship, unless you're two teenage virgins. But they hardly ever end up spending the rest of their lives together. Almost everybody slept with one or more people before they get together and there is nothing you can do to change that. Luke, you have a daughter with another woman so you slept with other women before you dated Lorelai.

This thing with Christopher happened in between. When you were separated so this isn't very different than sleeping with someone before you got together. Lorelai could have images in her head of you and Anna together, and you and Rachel and Nicole and whoever else you dated. You can have images in your mind of her and Max and whoever else she dated but what's the use? That was before you got together. This is about your relationship and not about the ones in the past. You were married before you got together with Lorelai and now she has been married as well. Does that change the way you feel about her?"

"But it was Chris and it wasn't baggage... she wore his ring! They were married and I had to see the ring when my daughter was being operated in hospital. It was... we wanted to get married.. she wore my ring and then bang she slept with him, got married and wore his ring. I had to stand by and watch them strolling through the town together, walking hand in hand receiving gifts from the other inhabitants. That just..."

"Hurt," Spencer completed and Luke nodded silently. "Lorelai did the thought ever come to you that you might hurt Luke when you were showing up with your new husband in town?" Spencer then asked.

"No. I couldn't let myself think about Luke at all. From the minute we broke up I was just numb and I didn't feel anymore. When we were confronted directly, like in the hospital, it hurt so bad to see that I had hurt him, that I just couldn't let myself think about it."

"You lived in denial," Spencer concluded.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I loved him even though I was married to Chris. I still do. But I would have gone crazy with pain just thinking about the fact that Luke seemed gone forever for me." At that Luke took her hand back in his.

"Does that change the way you feel about it Luke?" Spencer asked.

"I guess"

"My marriage was a mistake." Lorelai said. She had waited all those weeks to get that out. "I don't remember when Christopher and I started dating but it was just something that happened. I didn't gave it much thought. Then he asked me to come to Paris to bring Gigi to Sherry. There's something romantic about Paris that makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. As if you are drunk or high at all time and live in a bliss. It wasn't until we got home that I realized what I got myself in to. I was finally married. Something I wanted for so long, but it was to the wrong guy. I didn't love Christopher. Not the way I love you. He was annoying me with the way he barged into my life. How he changed Rory's room into Gigi's and how he replaced my good old TV for a flat screen. I tried to make it work but in the end I was miserable. I'd rather stay alone the rest of my life than spend it with a man I don't love. So I filed for divorce."

"Do you think you were ever meant to be with Christopher?" Spencer asked.

Lorelai shook her head. "I don't think so. Like you just said, almost nobody ends up with the person they dated in high school. When we were young Christopher and I had a lot in common but we grew apart and both got our own lives. Things that were important to me weren't important to him and the other way around." She then turned to Luke and grabbed his hands in hers, making sure he would hear her. "You and I have a lot in common. I really believe that we are meant to be together. If I see myself in the future, I see you with me. I can't picture my future without you in it."

A small smile appeared on Luke's face. Something that rarely ever happened and that Lorelai made smiled as well. "I can't see my future without you in it either. I want to marry you and Spencer is right. Christopher is in your past and has nothing to do with our future. He will always be Rory's father like Anna will always be April's mother, but to us they won't be anything more than that."

Her smile grew even bigger and she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Luke. She pulled away quickly, knowing Luke wouldn't be comfortable kissing in front of there therapist.

"And that's a wonderful conclusion." Spencer said with a small smile and leaned back in his chair. "The hour is over already so I think we'll leave it here for now. Don't forget to keep communicating together, although I don't think that will be a problem again. I will see you again next week."

And with that Luke and Lorelai left, hand in hand.

T.B.C.