Fic: The War Within

Rating: M
Characters: Elizabeth/Jack Elizabeth/Will
Chapter Title: Back to Basics
Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean. Disney does, no money being made off this.
Summary: Captain Elizabeth Swann, Pirate Lord and King. Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirate Lord, lecherous pirate, son of the Keeper of the Code. What will happen on the eve of battle. JE. Reviews welcome.

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Elizabeth moved slowly. She could not believe how she felt having Jack that close to her once more. It raised questions, feelings, thoughts that would not go away. She had blindly excused herself from Jack's presence, and walked, nay, ran away from him.

Elizabeth had felt his eyes following her as she moved away from him, away from his disturbing presence. She had stumbled over Pintel and Ragetti behind some barrels, but had quickly righted herself, mumbled some apologies and moved quickly back towards the inner sanctuary.

Elizabeth found herself walking through some of the strange rooms within Pirate's Cove. The other pirates it seemed had made their way into general carousing on their various ships. She did not approve of it. She thought that they needed to work on strategy. After all, that is what James would have done with his men.

James. Her eyes teared at the thought of him - Commodore James Norrington. Actually it was Admiral from the look of his uniform. He had obviously moved up in Beckett's eyes. She refused to consider what his station actually cost him, or what it had cost her.

Elizabeth wanted to continue thinking of him as a good man. He loved her. James had loved her. Just when she thought that she had not had anyone left who cared about her. She knew she had Will, he loved her, but still… she felt guilty whenever she saw him, knowing that she had kissed Jack Sparrow, had kissed Jack to an inch of his life and left him for dead. Her father was dead; she was now an orphan and also an outlaw.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and shook her head. She would not let sad thoughts get in the way. Elizabeth talked to herself and tried to get her thoughts in order. She needed to keep her head straight for the battle tomorrow. She needed to decide on strategy. She needed to keep up her strength. She needed… god, she didn't know what she needed. She threw herself into a nearby chair and slumped, crossing her arms across her abdomen.

She felt very restless and far too keyed up to sleep. She knew that she should rest, but could not sit still long enough in one spot, let alone lie down. She lifted one hand traced the arm of the chair, her thoughts wandering once more.

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flashback

"I knew you'd come back. I knew you were a good man."

She felt comforted in the belief that she knew she was not wrong about his character. He was a good man, and she knew he would do the right thing, by his men and by his ship.

The voice inside her whispered, '…And by you.' She chose to ignore it.

Elizabeth started to walk towards him. She had realised that the Kraken was after him. She realised that Jack knew about this long before anyone else. She needed to keep Will and the other men safe. She felt daring in the realism that she would need to send this man to his grave, an early grave in order to save herself.

'To save the crew,' she thought wildly. 'I'm doing it to save us - Will and me and the crew!' She was doing it for the crew.

'No,' said the voice inside her. 'You are not, love. You are doing it solely to save your own sorry hide.'

With a small inner cry at what that thought revealed to her about herself, she raised her face and pressed her lips upon his.

The heat of his lips touched hers, and she was swept away. The thrill of it… never in her wildest dreams had she thought that she would be kissing a pirate, this pirate, this good pirate.

Meeting his tongue with hers, letting it caress hers, feeling his teeth against the edges of her tongue, the softness of his lips pushing against hers. She could feel the muscles beneath the palms of her hands, against the pads of her fingers, the hair of his moustache against her sensitive upper lip; she could taste the very essence of him.

Feelings railed at her, tore at her as she slowly ended the kiss, letting his tongue massage hers once more before she moved her head away slowly; she grimaced as she fought to lock the manacle around his wrist. She was so close to him.

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"Stop it," she hissed to herself. She did not need to waste time on silly meanderings. She had better things to do.

"Ah, the thing that Jack knows he wants but does not claim it for himself." A voice came from the darkness. Elizabeth raised her head.

"Tia Dalma." Shocked Elizabeth acknowledged the dark skinned woman. Tia Dalma walked slowly out of the shadows and into the room. She stared hard at Elizabeth, until Elizabeth shifted uneasily in her seat.

"Jack Sparrow does not claim for himself. Perhaps him got himself a conscience after all."

"Tia Dalma – why aren't you in the brig?" Elizabeth glanced around uneasily.

"I am there." She smiled; her smile slow and wide, her eyes locking with Elizabeth's. "I am here as well." She moved towards Elizabeth. Her fingers reached out to hold Elizabeth's chin in her fingertips. They felt cold against Elizabeth's skin. "To get to know you better." She answered the unspoken question in Elizabeth's eyes. Elizabeth sat very still as the dark skinned woman examined her, turning her head this way and that. "I can see why him want to be the one. Carve out him heart. No more pain."

"Who?" Elizabeth couldn't help but ask. "Who wants to carve out his heart? Davy Jones? His heart is already out." Elizabeth cried out as her head was flung aside.

"Talk not of Davy Jones! Him a fool. Him corrupted his purpose." She lifted her head suddenly, as if smelling the air. "I know. You were full of sorrow after Jack went to the Locker. I know what it is that caused you so much sorrow." She pounced on Elizabeth, pinning her to her chair. Elizabeth shrank back. "Do it again. Sacrifice witty Jack once more. It will be for the good of all." Again, Tia Dalma lifted her head. Her eyes searched the shadows. She turned back to Elizabeth and smiled her strange, slow smile. "It will be for the good," she reiterated, slowly nodding her head. She walked away, melting into the shadows.

Elizabeth took a shuddering breath. Sacrifice him…again. Elizabeth hugged her arms around her body as she thought back once more to that fateful day.

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Flashback

She was so close to him. Elizabeth could feel the cold steel against her hand, contrasting greatly with the warmth from Jack's hand and body that was pressed against hers. She wanted him, yet she did not want him. Inside Elizabeth felt cold and numb. She wanted to feel. She wanted to feel him again, like moments before. Elizabeth was finding it harder and harder to breath.

"It's not us," she breathed against him. "It's after you, not the ship..." She implored him with her eyes to see, to understand. "This is the only way, don't you see?" She wanted him to understand why. Why it was that she was doing this. It was important that he understood.

She leaned in once more, wanting to taste him again, to feel again. She stopped herself. She tried to tell herself it was okay that she was doing this. It was for the good of all. Softly Elizabeth said, "I'm not sorry."

The words hung in the air, like a thick miasma. She raised her eyes to his and waited for what seemed to be an eternity for him to speak to her. His eyes spoke volumes and her gut wrenched for what she had just done. She watched as his mouth lifted into a small smile and one word left his mouth.

"Pirate." Finally he had spoken and with that one word, she had been cut down. That word and his tone and all its meaning had set off a warring within, a gut reaction if you will, within her body. It twisted her, twisted inside her, cutting her, cruelly taunting her.

She did the only thing she could. She ran.

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Pirate. Elizabeth took a shuddering breath.

Pirate. The word reverberated around her head, a million times a day since the Kraken attack. She knew that she had felt silly after she found out that almost everyone, (Mister Gibbs, Will, Pintel, Ragetti, Cotton, probably even Cotton's parrot) knew that the Kraken had been after Jack. She couldn't tell any of them, confide in any of them what she had done. It was mutinous action against the Captain of the ship. Plan his demise and act on it. She scoffed quietly to herself. Stupidly she had thought that she was the only one who had worked it out. That she was the only one who could save everybody.

Pirate. It ate away at her constantly, yet it fed her with resolution on their trip to rescue Jack from the locker. She was a pirate. She was a pirate. Elizabeth took another breath. She was Pirate King.

A voice came out of the gloom.

"It's what we do today that counts, not what mistakes we might have made yesterday."

Elizabeth's head flew up and her eyes met that of Captain Teague. He looked at her with dark eyes, full of mystery. She nodded at his words, her mouth suddenly dry. She stared back at him, watching, waiting.

A shadow behind him moved and as she watched, Jack Sparrow moved into the room. Their eyes met.