Chapter 2- The Coming of the Judas Priest, AMEN!
Nerima District…
He couldn't help but feel like somebody is watching him. He figured it was just Nabiki spying on him again just so she can earn some extra yens from his ever-so-LOVABLE pursuers. For his disappointment, and a lost of a few yens, she swore she had not spied on him for the past few days. He'll hold to her words for now but it didn't help ease his mind.
For the past two days, he could still senses his would be stalker following him. It didn't bother him at first… until it starting to get on his nerves. For that reason, he could sense the guy outside his classroom. Not only at school, he can also sense it at Ucchan's, near the Neko Hunton, around town, and lately, outside the Tendo home.
This annoys him to no end. So Ranma Saotome decided to do the next best thing: Whenever you are followed by an annoying pest, it's best to track the source down and beat the crap out of it!
Day number 1… Tracking the problem…
During lunch, when he realized that the stalker was leaving the school ground, Ranma took his place on rooftop and followed it. His senses led him down south of the suburban area, all the way to a small building. Ranma Grinned, he figured this place must be where the guy lives.
Just before he stepped in, he stopped. He couldn't understand why but for some reason, just by standing here made him feel uncomfortable.
Shacking off his uneasiness, Ranma push away the door and walked in. Within minutes, Ranma is later seen running out of the building from projectiles of buckets and bath products.
If we take our attention away for the moment, you can see there is a sign at the far right that reads- Sakura's Hotspot: Bathhouse for Women.
Day number 2…When you first don't succeed, try and try again…
Once again, Ranma is back where he last sense his foe but this time he found a narrow passage right next of the bathhouse.
After entering the passageway, Ranma slowed down his pace when the place was starting to get dimmer. It sure was dark. He could feel something move against his leg.
Than another one came up against his other leg.
…Then another one came over…
And another…
And another…
And another…
Then soon, he could feel more than a dozen four-legged creatures moving up against him.
"Purr…Purr…"
"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
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A week had pasted and still he couldn't figure out who or what has been following him. He pretty much gave up the search when the trail always leads him back to that infernal passage where those c-c-c—furry thing live.
But this time, today is his lucky day.
'So, finally decide to show your face huh?' He thought as he sensed his stalker moving closer than usually. He kept telling himself to keep calm. As a martial artist, he needs to stay calm and wait for his foe to make a move. If he tries to attack him, well, he's in for a big surprise.
Thump-thump… thump-thump… thump-thump!
He's getting close. His heart beat every time the closer he gets.
Thump-thump.. thump-thump.. thump-thump!
They're almost at the school entrance. He'll attack him just before they reach the school ground. Just a little bit more and he'll won't know what hit them.
Thump-thump! thump-thump! thump-thump! thump-thump - NOW!
Just like that, Ranma jumps off the fence, lands on the sidewalk and quickly turns to grab…nothing. Ranma tries to pick up the sense again but for some reason, he couldn't. It's like he just…vanished.
(… … …) He waited.
(… … …) Still waiting but nothing happened. Akane and the other students just ignore what he's doing and head inside the school building.
(… … …) Seeing that he couldn't feel it anymore, he finally lowers his guard. He could have sworn he felt the guy. He knows it's wasn't his imagination. So what was it?
Sighing, Ranma decided to forget about it and head to class.
Kee-Koo-Kong-Ku!
Only a foot away from the gate and the late bell just had to ring.
Just his luck…
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After School at Furinkan High…
"Ranma, what's gotten into you? You've seem out of it lately," Akane was concern as she and Ranma were walking together to the school gate. Classes had just ended and she and Ranma were just on their way back to the Tendo home.
"Don't know. I've been having these strange feelings as if someone's tailing me or something."
"You're just paranoid."
"From what I've been through, I doubt it," Ranma muttered as he gives a big sigh. "I don't know, maybe I am starting to lose it."
"We can always stop by at Tofu's if you want."
"Nah, don't bother. It's probably nothing."
"If you say so... Oh, I just remembered!" Akane eagerly dug into her bag and pulled out a small container. "Here Ranma, I made this during home-ec."
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! HIGH LEVEL OF HAZARD CONSUMPTION PRESENT! MOST REACH TO SAFETY! DANGER!
"Ahhh…Thanks Akane. W-what is it?" Ranma asked looking at the small object as his danger senses are flaring.
"It's fried rice silly," she said so with smile. "I tried to improve it a little but I hope you like it?"
Improve it indeed. The rice was under-cooked, the ham was burnt to a crisp, the peas and carrots are still frozen, and he never thought eggs can come in green color. Not to mention there's a scent of fish sauce, sesame oil and a dash of red vinegar. To put it simple, her latest creation is a nuclear disaster. Ranma started edging away from it very slowly getting to a running start.
"Y-y-yeah…Ya know, maybe I'll wait until Kasumi is done with dinner. Don't want ta spoil my appetite with a full stomach ya know?"
"From the way you eat, I doubt it. Come on Ranma, I worked so hard on this. You can at less try it," Akane's patience was starting to wear thin. You can tell by the small dark vapor coming from the young Tendo girl.
The scene was even starting to draw a crowd. Some of the students were wondering what was going on while the rest decided to leave as quickly as possible from the coming blood shade.
Ranma looked around trying to find any possible means of an escape. Should he make a run for it?
He then looked at the crowd. Darn it, where is that Kuno when you need him the most?
As he continues to the delay the inevitable…he just thought of something.
"Hey look! Is that P-chan?"
"What P-chan?" Akane instantly turns towards the area where Ranma pointed but there was no sign of her precious piglet.
"What are you talking about Ranma? I don't see—"
Thanks to his quick thinking, Ranma manage to get himself five blocks away from the infested pile of crud Akane calls food. From that distance, he can hear the cry of his fiancée.
"Ranma! Come back here and eat my cooking!"
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Standing on top of Furinkan High, there stood someone starring down at our departing pigtailed martial artist fleeing for his life.
As we zoom in, he is describes as a tall 5'6 young Asian with short spiky hairs wearing a pair of frameless rectangular glasses. His clothes are simply a set of dark-blue sleeveless jacket over a yellow sleeveless shirt and a pair of dark jean pants. He also has on a brown visor and wearing a pair of dark-blue sketcher sneakers. You'd notice he's a little paler and muscular compared to your average young man.
Yes friends, it is I! The one who was given the task to watch over the one and only Ranma Saotome, Lee, Dongchang! Sorry for the late introduction but if you can recall the last chapter, you'll understand.
Oh and for the record, call me Lee. It's easier to remember.
Anyway, after I first got here, I took the time following the boy for the past week and reading over some of his file. I may have some knowledge about Ranma but it couldn't hurt to review some vital details, right? And boy, I have a lot of work to cut out.
He has taken a lot of crap every day that's for sure but he doesn't do a thing to really stop them. Most of the problems he has come right back to that worthless father of his. Brainwashing him to think nothing more but the Arts! I had to keep reminding myself that Ranma had never been able to make decisions for himself. His father is usually the one who decides for him or certain situations and force them on him without him having anything to say in the matter. It's a mystery to why he never dumped that panda sooner.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. But more importantly, I'm more concern on the other matter at hand… his love life.
There's no way in Hell I'll be able to accomplish that! That's pretty much IMPOSSIBLE! That, and there is also a chance I'll be hunted down by an Amazon, a chef, a crazy gymnast and/or a hot tempered tomboy!
Ah man, if by any chance, and I do mean by IF, I was able to get him to fall in love with one of those girls or someone for that manner, I'm just as good as dead!
"What have I gotten myself into?" A deep sigh escape my lips. After a days work, I always pass through the narrow alleyway (between a large building and the women bathhouse) to get to a Takoyaki stand.
Emmmm… Ta-ko-ya-ki…
And you know what's weird? Ever since I got here, I always hear a lot of screaming coming from the women's bathhouse. There was always a cry of pervert, sicko, and other colorful names I wouldn't want to repeat. And there was this one time that I saw a red blur passed by with a herd of alley cats chasing after it. Hmm… the form looks familiar….
Anyway, back to the story. After seeing first hand what I will come to expect in Ranma boy's life, I decided to make my appearance. At first, I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Just simply walk up to the guy and make my introduction. But for today, I thought wrong. For only a foot away from him, I was surprised to see Ranma jumping off the fence so suddenly and was about to grab me from behind.
I didn't know what happened since that was the last thing I remember before finding myself flat on the school track field. Man I hate blacking out like that.
"Ahhh! God dammit!"
Oh yeah almost forgot. Lately, I've been experiencing these sudden headaches and my right arm tends to twitch uncontrollably. I had to struggle every time just to regain control of it. And I have to thank the Old man for that.
"Wait till I get my hands on that bastard!"
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"What can I say; you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet. And you can't expect having multiple minds clogged into one skull without having some side effects. Geez, what's his trouble? Ah ha ha!" Vinson popped a salted nut into his mouth as he watches his assistant at work.
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Meanwhile -at the Tendo Home…
Akane came home after losing sight of her elusive fiancé. She had been casing him almost every part of Nerima just so he could eat her latest cooking attempt. But like always, he always escaped her grasp. Honestly, would it kill him to have just one bite of her cooking?
(Cough! Cough!) Yes (Cough! Cough!)
"Welcome back Akane. Did you have a good day at school?" Kasumi asked by the doorway.
"Yeah, you can say that," Akane said with a tired sigh. "Kasumi, have you seen Ranma anywhere?"
"Why yes, I think I saw him practicing in the training hall."
Without waiting, Akane runs off into the Tendo hall but came back empty handed.
"The Baka isn't here!" Akane complained.
"Really? That's odd; I could have sworn he was there. Are you sure he isn't in the backyard?" Kasume suggest.
"Yes, I'm sure. Errr, where could that Baka be?"
"Maybe he's hiding in the broom closet?"
"Phff! Pah-lease! Like that Baka is stupid enough to do something like that. He's probably out with his other floosies."
"Now Akane, you know it's not nice to call people names."
"But it's true!" Akane again complained. "Here I am cooking something nice for him and he had the nerve to run off to one of his hussies! Just wait till that Baka gets home!"
Kasumi signed as Akane stormed off while muttering about a certain martial artist to her room. Oh dear, she really need to do something about Akane one of these day.
Waiting to hear her little sister's door slammed shot, Kasumi walked over to the broom closet and knocked the door three times.
"Ranma-kun, it's safe to come out now."
The closet door steadily drew opened and out popped Ranma as he slowly crawled out the cramp hiding place. His eyes wondered around for any signs of his temperamental fiancé. He then gave a sigh relief.
"Thanks Kasumi, you're a lifesaver."
"It was no trouble," Kasumi said with a smile. "But please, do keep yourself out of trouble. It's not proper if you keep hiding like that whenever Akane cook something for you."
"Y-yeah…I'll keep that in mind. Oh, and thanks again." Ranma figured it was time for him to do a little practice after the day he had.
This morning's event really bothered him. He couldn't help but feel like something big is about to happen. Not in a good way that is. More like having a new fiancée, a new challenge, or someone is coming to mess up his life even more than it already has.
He is hoping for the second.
Just before he enters the training Hall. Two forms blocked his path.
"Ranma! What have you do to my Daughter?"
"Boy! You better apologize to your fiancé if you know what's good for you!"
Sigh, sometimes it doesn't pay to be him.
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Somewhere else in Nerima…
"Man, for a moment there, I'm starting to think I'm in that Idled Hand movie. Sigh, guess trailing him like that wasn't one of my best ideas. Oh well, time for Plan B." Once I finally got my right arm under control, I set course to where my assignment dwells.
The Tendo Home.
If my memory served me well, I need to come up a way to deal with them when I get there. I can't just march up there and ask them for Ranma. They'll probably think I'm some sort of challenger looking for a fight or someone coming to fulfill a stupid promise made said assignment's father.
Speaking of which, I still need to figure a way to de-program whatever that Fat Lard been feeding the boy. Beating some sense into his thick skull sounds tempting but … damaging anymore of his brain cells doesn't feel right…what's left of it that is. I also have to work on that Foot-in-the-mouth disease.
Sigh…Oh boy; I really got my work cut out.
"Okay, snap out of it." I said to myself. "There's no time for feeling all depress! It's time I see the positive side. I'm in Japan for Christ sake!"
Let see, think positive, think positive….Mangas! Yes, I can buy lots and lots of mangas here! And games! Don't forget the games!
And I couldn't forget about the anime. I mean, lately, there has been a lot of new animes released here in Japan. Yeah, I can watch them before they even released in the US!
Even though they will be dub…
…And they will cut off some of the good part…
And… censored some.. of .. the….
Okay, forget about that. But most of all, I can go around to get some nice little-
"Wha ha ha ha! Panties! Panties! What a Haul! What a Haul!"
Yes, panties. I can get some nice sets of…wait, that didn't come out right!
"GET BACK HERE YOU FREAK!"
"GIVE US BACK OUR STUFF!"
"NAH, NAH! Catch me if you can!"
Now that's something you don't hear everyday. I turn around to see what all the fuss is about. To my disbelief, I'm seeing a large dust cloud coming straight at my direction. What's interesting about it is that it's coming from a large group of angry women shouting out at something while carrying brooms, bats, and any heavy objects.
You know if I didn't know any better, this scene looks very familiar. I wonder why?
WHAM! THUMP!
Okay, now I remember. The blow from a small and purple thing had reminded me of a certain Old Man, which also explains this sudden headache.
"Thanks a lot sonny! Here's a token for your trouble!"
Getting my senses back together, I felt something landed on my face. Why am I seeing the color pink? Hmmm… it does have a nice texture and it smell kind of weird.
Removing the silk cloth, I kind of wish I haven't. Because now, I didn't like the looks the group of women are giving me.
I look at the silk object and realized why.
Pink Laces…I'm holding a pair of pink lace panties ….
Oh Bloody Hell….
"Wait! I'm sure we can come to a term that this is a complete big misunderstanding!"
"GET HIM!"
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It was late in the afternoon and the street is completely empty. There was no sight of the angry mob or the little troll that pleaded them…other than the battered form left on the street of course.
"Oww… the pain…"
I sluggishly tried to get up from the hard concrete floor but I fell down while clutching my head in pain. Well, at less they were decent enough to leave my glasses alone, but for the rest… Crack ow… I think my rib just cracked.
Thump-thump!
A faint white mist was forming all over my body. I was unaware of it as I feel myself getting up but not by my own power.
"Okay. I can deal with the facts that I was forced into this mess to fix a person's life..."
Thump-thump!
"I've endured to agonizing pain not ONCE but TWICE in a single day. Not only that, the bastard intentionally put who-knows-what in my mind just for the laugh of it! I had a hard time keeping myself sane for the past week!"
Thump-thump…thump-thump!
"OH, it gets even better! Not only did I get beamed by the biggest pervert ever, he purposely left that panty so the mob will focus their anger on me! And now, I bet every woman in this bloody town thinks I'm in cahoots with him!"
The energy suddenly starts to flare-up uncontrollably and I'm starting to lose conciseness as my body was engulfed by a cosmic flash of light. I soon laugh uncontrollably.
"HAH! HA HA HA! HAAPPOOOSAIIII! I SHALL SEND YE HEATHENISH ASS TO THE DEEPEST REGIONS OF HELL!"
Thump-thump! thump-thump! thump-thump! thump-thump! thump-thump! Crack!
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Somewhere on the roof top of Nerima…
"Ahhh! What sweet pretties! Oh how I love you my lovelies."
Happosai bathed himself in piles of his precious silky darlings. Today was a splendid day to liberating his precious from those infernal hangers. Hanging out in the cold where no one to love and care for, oh how tragic. But don't worry; Happi is here to take good care of you.
"Hmm, better head back. Don't want to miss any of Kasumi's home cooking." He bundled up his treasures with great haste and inhaled its lovely scent one last time. Sniffff-Ahhhh! A marvelous day in-deed.
SLING!...Creek!... Creek!... Creek!
"Hmm?" puzzled, Happosai turns around to see what's making all those noises. Hmm, he hadn't seen this young man before. His glasses reflect the light of the setting sun, giving off a yellowish illuminating glare. A silver cross is seen dangling around his neck, along with a clerical collar. He wore a pair of white gloves which have some writings on them and he has on a large unbuttoned cassock robe over his black shirt and khaki pants as it blows gently against the wind. Happosai couldn't make heads or tails about this weirdo but for some reason, that smile of he's made him a bit uneasy.
"What do you want boy? Can't you see I'm busy?" Happosai waited for the young man to answer but the young man remained where he was, motionless with that same eerie grin on his face. "Hey! I'm talking to you!"
The young man continues to ignore the old Master, much to his annoyance. He then turns his attention to the west, just in time to see the setting sun.
"Such a lovely sunset you people got. Fills my heart with rejoice and worth."
Angrily, Happosai perched himself on the roof tile, smoking his little pipe.
"Puff… Kids, don't know how to respect their elders these days."
As if he had heard what the Pervert just said, the young man turns his attention to him and smile.
"Oh, you must excuse me. I was just admiring the sun. It's quite lovely, really. As I place myself under the Load of Christ, I shall be the instrument of divinity." He raises the cross to his lips and gently gave it a soft kiss.
Small bead of sweat started to develop from the aged Master of Anything Goes. There was then a disturbing pause of silence between the old man and the priest. Happosai figured it was time to make his leave as he packed up his large sack of goodies.
"Yeah…Sure…Well, see you around sonny." Just as he was about to leave, a hand stopped him during a mid-jump. Then a large tug sent him right back onto the ruff, pulling his sack right out of his grasp during the process.
"Hey! What's the big idea?" Happosai jumped up and down in outraged. He could not believe that a punk like this just came out of nowhere and took his little darlings right from under him. Who does this guy think he is!
"Now, now, we can't have that. God forbid if you take the path of a sinner by having such possessions."
"That's none of your business runt! Now give me back my silky darlings!"
"Oh, but we can't have that." The priest rears back the big bundle and flung it into the air. The bag loosely burst open and the sky is filled with raining showers of laundries.
"There, the deed is done." the Priest said in satisfaction.
Happosai stared with an open jaw. He watched helplessly as his precious darlings slowly scattered into the wind. The Freya Darcey DD, the Prima Donna Luxury plus C, the…the Jezebel Satin with the low rise flutter bikini… … and that nice pretty panty with the Hello Kittle picture on it.
All of his hard work…gone.
Beb…emm…Wahhhhhhhhh!
"There, there, it's alright," The Priest said with a tendered voice, soothing the weeping old man. "Thou shall not cast thy self in such sorrow, for thou have been given a chance to enter the gates of our Holy Father. For now on, thou shall turn to a new league. Be thankful for I was here to help thee."
Happosai slowly stares up at the Priest. His little hands shock in rage as the Priest continues to smile down upon him.
"You…You…!"
"O ye best take this at heart. 'Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful, for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but way of the ungodly shall perish.'"
"You'll pay!" Happosai viciously struck the priest, sending him to the other end of the roof.
The Priest slowly rises to his feet and dusted himself off. Facing the shriveled up Master of Anything Goes, the Priest shook his head in disappointment. Saddened but disappointed nevertheless.
"I see, thy still hold the torch of thy heathen brethren. So be it." The Priest grinned from ear to ear, bringing forth two Socket Bayonets. "Let the heathen be judged in thy sight, let no man prevail!"
"Die!"
"I shall purify all in one righteous sweep!" The Priest lunges forward, wielding his twin Bayonets as he cries one final word.
"AMEN!"
God have mercy for the poor heathen...
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AN:
If anyone having troubles knowing who the Priest is in the last scene, I'm sorry.
The Priest is Alexander Anderson from Hellsing. I don't own the comic, the show and I don't own him.
R&R