(A/N: I met for the first chapter to be just a one-shot, but I really liked writing it, so I wrote one for Jack, too. A third and final chapter will be up soon. Enjoy the fic, and please review!)
Jack knew from the moment that he first met Ianto Jones that he liked him. Sure, he had been extremely unwilling at first to hire him as an employee, but he had different reasons for that. Jack hadn't wanted anything to do with anyone who had been involved with Torchwood One. Not to mention he wasn't lying when he said they weren't hiring, there really was no job for Ianto at Torchwood Three. But that didn't stop Jack from noticing Ianto's coy smile and very tight jeans.
And when he finally did decide to invent a job so that Ianto could join the team, he had told himself that it had nothing to do with Ianto's gorgeous Welsh accent and pretty eyes, and everything to do with the pterodactyl.
And it had been so easy to convince himself that.
So easy to pretend that it was all about Ianto's phenomenal organizational skills and excellent coffee. Not because he was infatuated with him. Not because he enjoyed flirting with him. And Jack continued to keep up this charade. He told himself the same thing after the whole incident with Lisa. Jack had forgiven Ianto because Ianto was a good employee who happened to make a terrible mistake. Not because it broke his heart to see the look on Ianto's face when Lisa died.
Jack wondered how he could be having sex with Ianto and be his boss and his friend, and yet still be so emotionally detached. It certainly had nothing to do with lack of real feeling for the younger man. Maybe that was the problem. Jack could safely chase after Gwen, because he knew she would never want him. He could never safely chase after Ianto. He could never allow himself to feel love for him, because that would be game over for Jack. He'd spend the rest of Ianto's days being tortured by the thought of Ianto dying sometime in the future, and then when that day finally came, he knew he would practically go mad.
Jack speculated how he could be so cold and calculated. He was sure that it wasn't normal to force yourself not to love someone. And he was completely certain that if he didn't have the practice that he did keeping his emotions for others at bay, he would have fallen for Ianto a long time ago. Just as Ianto had fallen for him. Of course, Jack knew that Ianto had strong feelings for him, probably loved him but kept silent about it because he understood. That was one of the things that made keeping his emotions from going haywire over Ianto so difficult. Ianto always understood. Sometimes Jack wished he wouldn't be so understanding, because it would be so easy to push Ianto away if Ianto had tried to get Jack to commit, or had started a fight over any of the things Jack had done that usually drive people nuts. It would be so easy to use that as an excuse to call the whole thing off. But Ianto was Ianto. He was too loyal to Jack to not trust him, and too understanding of all his motives to ever question him.
In fact, after thinking very hard, the only time Jack could ever even remember Ianto being mad was after Jack had come back from his trip with the Doctor. And even then there had been no yelling or fighting, Ianto was just cold to him, before he was quickly forgiven.
Yes, that was the problem. Ianto was too perfect. Too wonderful. Too easy to live with. And so very, very mortal.
"I've got your coffee," there were those beautiful Welsh vowels again, handing him a cup of the greatest coffee Jack had ever tasted, and with all the places he'd been, that was saying something.
"Thanks, Ianto," said Jack.
"You seem a little off, something wrong?" asked Ianto.
"Nothing, just a little tired," said Jack, shaking his head.
"We were up a little late last night, weren't we?" Ianto smirked.
"Well, for once it wasn't my fault, you were the one that decided to pull out the UNIT cap," said Jack.
Ianto laughed. "You know you loved it. I still can't believe you got your hands on it. Who would actually give you one of those?"
"I have my sources," Jack said cheekily.
"Martha?" Ianto snickered. "I didn't think she would do something like that."
"I think she did it as a joke, because I'm pretty sure she thought I was kidding when I asked for one," admitted Jack.
"You weren't?" Ianto asked in surprise.
"Kid about you looking good?" Jack sounded appalled. "Never."
It was so easy to continue their banter and flirting as they always had. And while Jack sat there, watching Ianto sip his own coffee, Jack wondered if he were ever to allow himself to love, if he would love Ianto. And the answer came to him as a yes. And it would be so easy.