Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Maximum Ride But I Do Own Any And All Additional Characters That I Have Created For The Purpose Of This Story, Inclusion Of The Plot
(I Am…)
Chapter 1Faded
I stood myself squarely in front of the gold leaf encrusted mirror specifically positioning at a certain angle to get the best visual perspective. I was looking my reflection straight in the eyes, studying the golden brown irises that supposedly belonged to me, very carefully, not wanting to miss any details.
But, from what I was seeing, I was lacking in something majorly. My eyes seemed to lack the spark of life that in my opinion indicated that a person was alive. So since I didn't have it did it mean that I was dead? Or that I was just the biggest fake to ever exist?
Coming to that revelation I hastily looked away from my eyes and went on to study the rest of my face. The next feature I chose to pick on was my hair. It came across to me as been childish and a burden that I couldn't believe I had been wearing all this time and to top it off, it also looked sickeningly fake. The bangs that framed my face made me look like a doll of some kind, without the tan. But when I got outside it was like I absorbed the sun and tanned instantly. The freckles on the bridge of my nose looked like they had been sprayed on over a layer of foundation, to try and make me look like some cute poster child.
Just like that in my hollow eyes I looked so unhappy and withdrawn from the world that I almost pitied myself. Then I felt a fire begin to burn from the base of my head at what I had let myself become…I turned my head away sharply from the mirror, because if I had of kept looking than the fire would have won and I most likely would have punched the mirror and gotten hurt, which wouldn't be good because I needed to look my best for the red carpet.
Angry once again that such a thought had just waltzed into my brain I ran across my room and collide with several pillows that were littered across my extremely wide window seat. I rose my head up from the pillow and propped it on the windowsill, ignoring the pains of my chin at been squished against such a hard surface.
I scanned frantically trying to find something to look at that would drown out the mental images I had of myself from the mirror. They felt like they had been seared into my brain with a red-hot knife. Of course how would I know what it really felt like? My eyes rested on the beach and the sun setting over the horizon. The orange and yellowing making the ocean look like a beautiful sparkling ruby, in all of it's perfection.
I groaned out loud.
Perfection…
That's what I was trying to get away from. Stupid bloody perfection. I knew it was all around me, it had been my whole life…my life it's self was supposed to be perfect. But perfect wasn't what I longed for. To me it was so wrong and cold, there was no point in it.
I wanted something normal. That's all I wanted.
No. Not just something normal. I wanted to be normal.
To be the kind of teenager that got out to see the world and wasn't stuck living in such a screwed up reality filled with stupid ideologies that had no purpose. There was a normal girl inside of me that had been crying to come out all along, but every time I put on another layer of foundation or makeup she kept on been pushed down and was been crushed by the weight of all of the layers that I carted around.
Slowly she had faded away…growing even more unhappy until I turned out like I am now, absolutely miserable and disgusted with myself, by what I had become. But in the short term what could I do about it?
I sat up and pondered that questioned while I kept my eyes trained on the out side world, like I had the hope that my soul would escape from my condemned prison, of endless torture of the eyelash curler, and see the rest of the world, as been free.
I ran my hands through my hair, just noticing that I was breathing heavier then usual. I tried to clear my overwhelmed mind that was literally been ripped in two, by what I wanted to think and what I had been brainwashed into thinking my whole life. The internal battle. Almost like there was not only my voice inside my head…
"Enough!" I shouted out loud. My voice echoed in my room and sent a shiver up my spine as my mind became quiet once more.
The silence did me some real good. For once the normal girl won. She had been waiting for this day for years and she was so excited that finally that she was going to be able to put into effect a plan which she had been working on…
A/N: I'll explain now, Max may sound like a nut case saying that there are two sides of her. But just imagine how you have your own conscience and like how you make choices. Or to make it really complex, image the subconscious mind and the 'normal girl' always wanted to come out and take control. Another example is when you go high and you can call it your 'Inner Child' coming out to play.
I know it sounds really weird but its fan fiction…aren't things meant to be weird? (Not meaning to insult anybody's fan fiction!!)
And I am really sorry about the mix up with 12 Days of Christmas…and yeah, Thanx to those who did actually reviewed the chapter…LOL!
Review please!