Baby Carlton was a happy baby.
He was always laughing.
He never fussed or cried for no reason.
He got along well with all the other babies.
That is, until Baby Tommy came to daycare.
No one ever really knew why, but Baby Carlton and Baby Tommy never got along.
Maybe it was because on his first day at daycare, Baby Tommy's cookie was bigger and had thirteen more sprinkles on it.
Maybe it was because Baby Carlton wouldn't share the blocks.
Whatever the reason, the two were locked in mortal combat from the very first time they met.
The last straw, however, came one rainy Friday afternoon. It was too wet for the children to go outside, so they were all in the playroom.
Baby Carlton was sitting by himself, happily playing with the alphabet blocks. He was so engrossed in them that he didn't even hear Baby Tommy coming up behind him….
brandishing the little wooden toy hammer over his head.
He brought it down directly on top of Baby Carlton's poor little pumpkin head.
Now, even as an infant, Carlton Lassiter was no baby. He didn't scream or cry as Baby Tommy used his skull to practice Wipeout. He just plucked the pacifier resolutely out of his mouth, turned around, and popped Baby Tommy in the nose.
Hard.
Baby Tommy, as it turned out, was a baby. He burst into loud, frantic tears, and all the daycare workers immediately came running.
"Carlton Lassiter! Bad boy!" Nancy scolded, picking him up and plopping him down in the playpen.
Solitary confinement.
They huddled around Baby Tommy, cooing and snuggling him. Giving him cookies to get him to stop crying.
He looked over at Baby Carlton.
And smiled, the smug little bastard.
Carlton's forehead wrinkled. His eyes narrowed angrily.
And that's the way they stayed for….ever.