A/N: Sorry for really long wait. Hard to write this one :P

Chapter 4 – It's All Going Downhill…

"Eat up Rose, it'll make ya feel better."

The Doctor was just hugging a pillow tightly to his woman's body, staring ahead blankly at the wall. This was by far the worst day of his entire life. Forget the Time War, that was nothing. This would forever be engraved in his memory as the worst incident he'd ever encountered.

He was acutely aware of Rose staring at him, urging him to respond to her mother; act like nothing was wrong. But how could he possibly do that? Everything was wrong. He'd switched bodies with his own companion, found out her mother had a crush on him, and dealt with extreme bleeding, and it wasn't even midday yet! This was definitely the worst day of his nine-hundred year life by far.

"Rose? Sweetheart?" Jackie's distant voice echoed in his brain, but he hardly registered it. Jackie turned to what she believed to be the Doctor, but currently was Rose. She frowned thoughtfully. Rose had better say something, quickly.

"I think she said something earlier…period pains?" Rose tried to act like she didn't have a clue what they were. "Yeah, that's what she said."

Jackie's expression instantly changed into one of understanding. "Ooo she should've said! I'll just go get 'er a hot water bottle," she said, and with that she disappeared into the kitchen, closing the door behind her. Instantly Rose launched onto her feet and stormed over to the Doctor, giving him an angry shove.

"What the hell are ya playin' at?!" she hissed, "mum's gettin' suspicious!"

In reply, the Doctor burst into tears.

Rose drew back, surprised as the Doctor looked up at her pleadingly.

"Please Rose," he croaked, "I just can't take this…I dunno why…I'm so exhausted…I just can't do it anymore…"

Rose suddenly felt the instant instinct to hold him tight, so she did. "Hey shush, it's okay, you're just having problems controllin' your hormones, all right?"

"Stupid hormones," he cried, "I hate them!"

"I know I know, but soon it'll be all over and we'll go back to bein' ourselves. You've just gotta hold on a little while longer, for me, okay?"

After a pause and a sniff, he nodded against her chest. She'd never imagined comforting a crying Doctor, never mind a crying Doctor inside her own body. He was sobbing beneath her grip, his tiny delicate frame held within her strong encasing arms. She could smell his scent, so beautifully enticing and flavoursome. God, she wanted him, she wanted him so badly…

And her anatomy seemed to agree with her.

"'Ere we go!" suddenly Jackie's voice came from the doorway, and Rose paled to absolute white. She quickly grabbed a cushion and threw it over her crotch, knowing if her mother saw the Doctor's body reacting to her daughter's body she'd go nothing short of stark raving bonkers. The Doctor wasn't usually like this, she told herself. It was her own ineptitude of controlling it. Right?

"Aww Rose, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Jackie asked the Doctor, handing him the hot water bottle she held. He just sobbed, trying to push it down but failing dismally. Rose discreetly pulled away with the cushion placed tactfully on her lap, turning before slowly making her way across to the bathroom hoping to the God she didn't believe in that her mother had not even the slightest inclination as to what was going on with the Doctor's body.

She made it.

Locking the bathroom door behind her she tried to get a grip on herself, thinking of disastrously overweight sludge-coloured aliens with six heads in attempts to try and stop herself feeling horny.

The Doctor wished he could stop crying, but he couldn't. It was bad enough breaking down infront of your own companion about the situation you were in, never mind infront your companion's mother.

For some reason he desperately wanted to tell her what was wrong, but knew already that it really wouldn't help their situation. Never before had Jackie Tyler hugged him with this much feeling, but he found he was enjoying it. She felt so incredibly like his own mother; the way she used to hold him. More tears slid down his face at the thought.

"Rose if you don't tell me what's wrong I can't fix it," she said.

"I can't take it! I hate myself!" he yelled, "look at me! I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm ugly! Leave me alone, leave me alone!"

He jumped onto both feet, sprinting into the bathroom with his head in his hands.

Rose span around as soon as he entered, looking like a deer-caught-in-headlights. The Doctor locked the door behind him, looking up at Rose. She had both hands over her crotch and seemed as though she wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed, surprised. "What…"

"Rose, this can't go on," the Doctor said determinedly over his sobs. "I mean look at us! I keep thinking about dropping jeans sizes and how bad I look and you can't even look at a pear without getting horny!"

"For god's sake Doctor!" Rose burst out suddenly. "You're not fat and you're incredibly sexy!"

"You're just saying that to make me feel better!" the Doctor wailed back through tears, "why is it you can never tell me the truth?! You always have to be the dominant one!"

"What the hell are you on about?!" Rose snapped back, "when we put those curtains up in the TARDIS I let you have blue!"

"You didn't say you wanted a colour!"

"I wanted pink!"

"They didn't have to be blue!"

"Then why didn't you ask me instead of going on with it?!" Rose demanded. "What if I hate blue?!"

"But I love pink!" the Doctor screamed through tears.

"And I love blue!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Rose concluded, suddenly unable to contain her lust anymore as she launched out both hands and grabbed the Doctor's shoulders, pulling him forward and slamming her lips straight onto his. The Doctor couldn't quite comprehend what was going on and it took him a few moments until he realised that technically he was kissing himself.

Suddenly he was unbuttoning her jacket, yanking it off of her with his tongue still inside her mouth. Next came her shirt, thankful nothing had to be pulled over her head as to disrupt their kissing. She unzipped his hoody, throwing it on the floor before reaching up to his top and starting to undo the top buttons, redirecting her kisses from his mouth to his neck, slowly travelling downwards.

"What the bloody 'ell are two doin'?!" Jackie Tyler suddenly shrieked from out of nowhere, and Rose and the Doctor both span around to meet the horrified gaze of Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler.