Miracle – XV

"So where do you think she was?"

"Couldn't tell you if I wanted to."

"I heard she overdosed on prescription drugs."

"Did not."

"That's what I heard."

The whisperers weren't even bothering to lower their voices as Rukia walked past them the Monday morning after New Year's – also known as Rukia's first day back since before Christmas Break. Voices that weren't bothering to keep themselves down were following her down the hallways.

"Iheard she and her parents had a fight and she took off to go see the boy she married – you know, the one in Europe."

"It probably had something to do with what happened on Parents' Night."

"You mean that thing with Kurosaki breaking Zaraki's nose?"

"Yeah, that. You know Kurosaki was trying to protect her, right?"

"I heard something about that, yeah."

"Maybe she was scared she'd get in trouble."

"She was back the day right after."

"Then she disappeared."

"I'm telling you, it's something about the boy in Europe!"

"Shut up about the damn boy."

I wonder what that boy's name is anyway, Rukia thought idly as she shuffled down the hall to class, avoiding all the stares and trying to ignore the whispers. She was really tired of listening to all these idiots. It was so damn annoying.

Rukia was busy keeping her head low and not looking at anyone, she barely noticed someone walking towards her. Or at least, she barely noticed until she walked into said person. "Ow!" A familiar voice said angrily, "Watch it!"

Rukia rubbed her head as she stumbled up and glared at Miyako, who glared right back. "Well, look who decided to come." The latter said in a scathing voice. "I guess school isn't beneath you anymore."

"At least I don't run to Renji every time something bad happens!" Rukia shot back. Miyako bristled.

"Like he does me any good anyways." She said angrily, "You've got him completely wrapped around your little finger."

"I'm sorry I actually stay in touch." Rukia said in a heavily sarcastic tone. "Unlike you, I don't forget my old friends the minute they're out of sight and move on. I actually attempt to keep them my friends. Again, unlike you."

"Yeah, right, you stay in touch." Miyako scoffed. "Yup, the entirety of our Junior year you were gone, you really stayed in touch then, huh Rukia?"

Rukia really didn't have a response to that. So instead she said, in what she hoped she could make pass as an 'I don't care' voice, "Well you certainly didn't try too hard to call from what I heard. Maybe I couldn't get to a phone, did ya ever think of that?"

"No." Miyako said honestly. "But why would I, considering you seem bent on leaving me out of everything?!"

And again, Rukia had no response. What could she say? Miyako was completely and totally right. Rukia was trying to keep her in the dark. But it seemed like the more she tried, the absolutely worse she did. It seemed as if she couldn't do anything right.

Miyako glared at Rukia for another second before storming off to class. The raven-haired girl felt just a little bad. Miyako was her best friend, after all – or she had been anyway. Why was Rukia trying to alienate her?

Feeling a bit put off now, Rukia made her way to class. She brightened a little when she walked in to the room and saw Ichigo at his desk, talking to Keigo. The memory of his lips against hers came flooding back, and for a minute Rukia felt a little light-headed. But she managed to smile as she walked over to his desk. "Hi Ichigo-"

"Kuchiki-san!" Keigo grinned widely when he caught sight of Rukia. "How are you doing on this wonderful day?!"

Rukia blinked a few times then looked around Keigo at Ichigo, who was determinedly looking away from Rukia. "Hey, what's your problem-"

"Good morning class!" at that moment the teacher walked in. Rukia scowled slightly as she made her way to her seat. She had been looking forward to talking to someone at school who didn't make her completely insane.

No matter how hard Ichigo tried, he couldn't stay focused on class that day. Every time he did try, his mind would wander right back to the violet-eyed girl sitting one row over and one row back from where he was. And all he could think about was what that girl's father had said to her the day after Christmas.

"Can you give her what she really deserves?"

Ichigo wanted to say he could. He'd finally come to terms with the fact that he cared about Rukia. He cared about her a lot. He would have done anything for her – he had broken a guy's nose for her for heaven's sake, and he would have done worse. But she deserved more than that – could he give her what he really deserved?

"Rukia deserves more, so much more. And if you can't give it to her, then don't lead her on."

Ichigo would never do something to hurt Rukia, he wouldn't lead her on! That was insane, completely insane. Ichigo wanted to say that Byakuya was just playing his role of over-protective parent just a little to well. But was he? Was he really? When Ichigo was little, he had been known to start one project, then move on to another without finishing the first one. The only thing he had only taken seriously in his life was karate, and that was just to protect his mother and sisters. Other than that, though, everything just sort of slipped past him. Rukia wasn't just a project, of course – but would she become just that to Ichigo? Would he unintentionally let her?

"If you can't guarantee, completely guarantee that she won't get hurt in the offing, then back off now."

Ichigo dropped his head into his hands. He couldn't. He just could not guarantee that. He had a bad habit of hurting people without meaning to, after all. It was what had killed his mother.

-:-:-:-Flashback-:-:-:-

"Ichigo, get down." Kurosaki Masaki scolded her youngest lightly as she picked him up and put him down on solid ground. He had been walking along the small wall that separated the sidewalk from the steep bank that lead to the river below. Ichigo smiled up at his mother.

"I won't get hurt." He protested good naturedly as he opened his umbrella. It was raining terribly, had been for the last week or so.

"Well I don't want you up there." Masaki reached down and took her son's smaller hand in her own, bigger one. Ichigo smiled again and gripped her hand a little tighter.

After a minute though, he got bored, and jumped back up onto the wall. "Ichigo,"his mother protested again, "get down"

"Don't worry-" just as he started to reassure his mother, though, he hit a slick patch, and his foot flew out from under him. "Yaaa-aaaah!" He swung his arms wildly as he began to tumble down off the wall.

"Ichigo!" Masaki darted forward and grabbed him, and both of them went over the wall, hitting the steep bank and tumbling forward. They finally stopped, Masaki landing on top of Ichigo. Stars popped up before the small boy's eyes. He sat up, rubbing his head.

"Ooow...sorry Mom, I didn't mean to-"

But as he sat up and rested a hand on his mother's back, he realized something rather disturbing. She wasn't moving. At all. "M-Mom?" he asked in a shaky voice, "Mom? Are you okay?"

Shifted his body so he was resting on his knees, placing both hands on his mother's back. "Mom?" he said over and over, "Mom, Mom! Wake up Mom, wake up!"

He shook her again and again, "Mom!"

-:-:-:-End Flashback-:-:-:-

The bell ringing snapped Ichigo out of his thoughts and he looked up at the clock. It couldn't have been lunch time already. But apparently it was. He sighed as he grabbed his lunch and started out of the classroom.

"Ichigo!" the boy in question looked around in surprise, and saw Rukia moving quickly through the crowd towards him. "Hey." She said, sounding slightly breathlessly. "How's it going?"

"Um, hey." He said uncomfortably. "I mean...what's up?"

"Right back atcha." She looked extremely confused. "What's your problem, Ichigo? You've been avoiding me all day."

"Have I?" He asked, looking anywhere but at the girl standing in front of him, "Sorry I...I didn't mean to, I mean-"

Ichigo," Rukia broke in. "Is something wrong? Is something bothering you?"

"No...nothing." He said distantly, "Rukia, I have to go."

He took off without another word, leaving Rukia behind to wonder what the hell was wrong with her orange-haired friend.

Rukia was confused. She was beyond confused. She was so far past confused, she could barely tell she was confused.

"I just don't get it." She muttered into her pillow. "Christmas Day I thought he was going to float out of his skin. Now he's acting like he wants nothing to do with me."

"Sounds like you're having boy troubles." Rukia pulled her head out of her pillow and saw her mother standing in the door, leaning against the door frame, smiling.

"Not boy problems." Rukia protested, pushing herself into a sitting position. "Just Ichigo problems. Lots of Ichigo problems"

"What's going on?" Hisana asked, sitting down next to her daughter. For a minute Rukia didn't know what to say. She never thought she'd see the day where she was talking to her mother about boy problems - no, not boy problems. Ichigo problems.

Finally, though, she said, "It's...weird. But ever since school started again, he's barely looked at me. He's acting like...like everyone else in the class!" the realization hit her fast and hard, "He's acting like every other person, he won't look me right in the eye, and I know when I catch him looking at me and he looks away, he's thinking about me, and he...he..."

But Rukia's words were already dying. She blinked her violet eyes quickly, trying to regather her thoughts, and said finally, "Do you think...I did something wrong?"

"What could you have possibly done wrong?" Hisana asked, sounding surprised. It was typical of Rukia to blame herself, but what could she have possibly done wrong this time?

"Christmas Day..." she said slowly, "I kissed him...what if he didn't want to? What if he doesn't care about me that way? What if I made mistake, what if-"

Hisana raised a hand and covered her daughter's mouth. "Rukia, you know your father and I were watching from the kitchen. And I know what I saw in that boy's eyes. When you kissed him, he went somewhere completely different, somewhere he was happy, somewhere he didn't want to leave. He cares about you Rukia, that much is obvious. What's wrong now, I don't know. But I do know that it has nothing to do with you."

Rukia stared at her mother for a few seconds, obviously unsure of what to say. Hisana could tell, of course, that the girl was still upset. Rukia wore her feelings on her sleeves, and her bright violet eyes reflected it all. But she also saw a glimmer of hope in there. It was something Hisana hadn't seen in a long time. "And you care about him, don't you Rukia?"

Rukia nodded. "Then that's all that matters. Whatever's wrong, whatever happens, this will all work out. Don't worry."

A couple days passed. Rukia didn't approach Ichigo. Not because she was afraid to, but because she wanted him to make the first move. If she seemed too clingy, she might push him away. And she didn't want that. She wanted Ichigo to stay with her. So she waited.

But the waiting got redundant. Ichigo no longer walked home with Rukia, no longer talked to her before and after class, no longer invited her to eat lunch with him (though Keigo looked like he wanted to a few times). And Rukia tried to be patient about it, really she did. But Rukia wasn't a patient person in general (a trait she had gotten from her father, supposedly). And she was getting tired of Ichigo jerking her around. One minute he was risking his life to save her, the next he could barely look at her. One minute he's thrilled to be kissing her, the next he won't talk to her. Rukia didn't like being thrown this way and that, especially not over a boy, even said boy was Ichigo.

So she cornered him after school one day. "Just what the hell is your problem?" She asked angrily. He blinked in surprise.

"What do you-"

"Don't you dare ask what I mean." She snapped, cutting him off. "I'm sick to death of your attitude, hear me? And I don't exactly enjoy having you jerk my chain. Got that? Now, stop playing with me, and tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"

Ichigo just stared. "Okay...I think someone needs to take a chill pill."

Rukia clenched her fists angrily. "Are you serious? Ichigo what in the world is wrong with you? You've barely even looked at me since Christmas day, and now you're acting like...like I don't even matter to you! What the hell is going on?"

Ichigo bit his lip and looked around. And Rukia had a very bad feeling about what was coming next. "Ichigo-"

"I'm sorry Rukia," he cut her off. His hands were in his pockets, and he was staring determinedly at the ground. "But...Christmas day...I realized something important. You think...I let you think something, but it wasn't true, and I'm sorry I let you think it was."

Rukia blinked, stunned. She had not seriously just heard that. "Ichigo...what are you...what are you talking about?"

"Rukia, don't make me explain." He muttered, still looking away from her.

Rukia bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. Finally she said, in a chocked voice, "Fine. Just...fine. I get it. I'll leave you alone. I don't even know why I care"

She whirled around and walked away. She didn't run. She didn't storm. When she got home she didn't ignore her mother. She didn't slam her bedroom door shut. Because when Ichigo had talked to her, and said those things, she had realized something important. She had realized that this was the exact reason why she had never told anyone the truth, why she had tried to cut herself off from people. Because everyone was exactly the same. Everything was exactly the same.

Nothing ever changes

Author's Note: Poor Ichigo...he really does care about her, he just doesn't want her to get hurt...I was considering having her beat him up, but it doesn't really fit with her persona in this story, so it didn't happen. Anyways, review and let me know what you think! - Sam