AN: First off, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who favored the Wedding story and added me an it to your list. Thank you! This chapter is dedicated to you guys. It's the way Jake and Bella ran around in my head and told me what to write down, their happy day. Please enjoy. Oh, and tell me if Jake seems too emo! This chapter was inspired by the Papa Roach song "Forever", because, to me, it fit JxB's relationship perfectly.
One Last Kiss, Before you Go.
Jake and I began our decent down First Beach. The weather was too nice for Forks or La Push; sunny, hardly any fog, and it was warm outside. After last night, I couldn't sleep all that much. Not because of what happened, but because today was my last day with Jacob. I remember crying a little bit in Edward's arms; maybe that's when he put his shirt on me. He comforted me and was very respective towards my feelings for said werewolf. He understood the close bond that was extremely visible. Jacob was family, my brother, and loosing him was probably going to be like watching my sibling go off to war and not return. I shuddered at the thought. But, he wasn't going away; he would remain here with his pack brothers, protecting these tiny towns from any rouge vampires that might cause a few deaths here and there. He'd still be fighting with his friends, for his friends, for his life…
So I was wrong about yesterday, it wasn't my last human day; I had a feeling I'd end up here anyway. This wasn't a clean break; it wasn't going to heal easily. This break was messy, extremely messy. And no amount of morphine could help. No crutch nor brace. Not even words. Nope, nothing could help this break, it was beyond repair.
We walked down the beach, hand-in-hand, like many other times. Now his were a little bit cooler; something I'd expect from Edwards, not Jacobs. Unlike Edwards warmer hands last night, I didn't welcome Jake's. I looked up at him, his face was absolutely blank. Eyes half-mast and vacant. Oh no, I recognized that stare, and I hated it. It was the same zombie like stare I had when Edward left.
"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked, reaching into those dark pools to save the drowning person inside them. I pulled him out of the water slightly.
"Got some stuff on the brain lately Bella, don't worry about it." His response was just about as lifeless as his eyes seemed. It hurt me so much, the big hole in my chest started to come back. I wrapped my free hand around my torso and took a few deep breaths.
"Please don't lie to me Jacob, not today please," I begged, gripping his hand harder. I felt my grip loosen and I panicked. I glanced at his face to see those dead eyes crumpled a little on his left side by a limp half smile.
"You can see right threw me. I'm just real upset about you going Bells. I don't even know if we could send letters to each other. Not like those stupid little notes from a few months ago. Maybe that's a way we could keep in touch ya' know?" he swung our hands a little. I felt his hard hand start to tremble a little under mine. Or was that me? We got to our tree and sat down. It was me. I broke out in tears, he soon followed.
"I…I guess we could do that. I don't see the harm." I chocked out, putting my head on his bare shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and I allowed him to lay his head on mine. We stared at the horizon for a while trying to calm down. He really couldn't control it; he just kept bursting out and shaking. I've never seen him like this, or at all for that matter. I was really crushing him, and the more he bursted out, the less I wanted to do this to him. We both were loosing someone we cared for tremendously. He loved me and I loved him. If I choose him, he would imprint on me. We'd be like Emily and Sam; the puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. I'd be a wolf girl again. But with this ring on my finger, I'd forever be a vampire girl, a vampire myself. Sam, Embry, Quill, even Seth would think of me as an enemy instead of a friend to the pack. Jacob would never allow them to harm me, I knew that for certain.
My heart was aching inside of me. I wished I'd never feel this pain again once Edward returned, but it came back. And I felt it a little worse this time around. I had a ten pound weight dragging on my heart, and my sternum felt like it was going to push against my heart till that needle turned into a stake and was permanently rammed in.
My vision blurred as fresh new tears moved in. I bursted out when he finally calmed down.
"God Jake, why'd we have to get this damn close? This is so freakishly hard. I don't ever want to leave you. Well, leave you in so many pieces. I can't help pick them back up without hurting them more can I?"
"Bella, I think we both have too many missing pieces to complete the puzzle. So, good luck finding all of mine kiddo." He told me. "I never want to leave you either Bella, but if you're really going to go through with this, it's better off this way."
"But it's so hard!" I reminded him through my horse, chopped up voice. Now I was the one crying the hardest. He kissed my hair and rubbed my shoulder.
"I know honey, I know. I want a picture of you, on of us from today. Lets end this on a happy note okay? And cry about it later." He sounded more hopeful then a prisoner on death row. I wiped my eyes nodding. "Okay, lets go find a camera and have some fun." he said getting up. I wrapped my arms around his torso and locked my fingers together. He wrapped his arms around me again as we walked back to my truck.
We were able to find a disposable camera—water proof too just incase—from a CVS and headed for the park.
We bought some ice cream and started walking around the outer edges of the park. The first photo he snapped was of me licking my vanilla flavored lump. I managed to smack it out of his hands and it took another picture of something as it hit the ground. I picked it up and snapped one of him laughing at me. He ran over to the ducks near the pond and startled them and watched them fly off. A few seconds later, they flew back to peck his head. He ran off and they followed him, I got a picture of the ducks attacking him, and a second of him running away.
"Why you," he grumbled coming back after seeing the camera leave my eye. He ran towards me and I dropped my ice cream and ran the other way. He caught up to me, of course, and picked me up by the waist to spin me like a rag doll.
"Jake!" I laughed out. The giggles came flooding out of my mouth quickly after. Somehow we got a picture of that too. He carried me over to the pond and dropped me in. I was sopping wet resurfacing as he snapped another photo of me. I flushed heavily and splashed him. I got out and whipped my hair his way, getting his face wet. The sprinklers came on and we ran over to it to run around like we were ten years younger. We were morons snapping random photos as we went along.
The kids' museum was close by and we rode over to it to play around, still getting pictures. The life sized board of a muscle man with a damsel sitting on his large bicep was our first victim. I put my head in the muscle man, making a face, and he put his face in the damsel doing the same. The owner was nice enough to take a picture for us. The corn maze was next. I tripped and fell a few times, his head popped out of the top so it was easy to spot him if we lost each other. The whole day after the beach was spent goofing off.
We ended up back at First Beach with more ice cream. He got a big blotch of chocolate on my nose and I put a big one of vanilla on his. Back on the tree trunk with the blotches on our nose was the last goofy photo we had and took. The sun began to set on our perfect day as we joked about attacking ducks and sprinklers.
"What a day," Jake breathed out rubbing my arm as I rested my head on his chest.
"Yeah. Lets go get these developed. I'll treat to dinner since you paid for the ice creams. Deal?"
"Deal." He agreed. We watched the sun set, then headed back over to the CVS to drop it off at a one-hour-photo station then drove to a TGI Friday's in Port Angeles, I heard that song again. "My Immortal", I started to cry again a little, so did he. He understood what I did last night. After dinner, we got our pictures and flipped through them in the parking lot, laughing at ourselves.
The drive back to his house was eerie and considerably awkward. The rain returned as soon as we entered La Push and I realized the weather role on today. The sun—which I once considered Jake—was bright and warm, like our early days, before werewolves, and today. While after twilight, the rain came back, just like our harsh reality and truth. I gripped my sides again. He put the radio on the help the mood, that song, "Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance was playing. The end was screaming at us, 'for all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me' played and he shut it off.
I pulled up slowly to his house, dug out a pen and our ice cream nose picture to write a note on the back.
Jacob,
This day was the most fun I've ever had; and the most funniest. It was the last day I was hoping for. It will forever stay close to my heart.
Please, we can't cry everything away. We could cry the oceans if we could. I'm glad you were my crutch and that you became one of the most important things in my life. You were my sun, the person who lifted the thick layer of fog off my eyes, and the person who stopped the nightmares and pain. Thank you. I've watched you grow in many ways and am very proud of you. Although I will never approve of putting yourself out there on the line, I'm still very proud of you. I'm glad I walked with you on First Beach that night to hear the story of the cold ones.
I love you Jacob and I'll write as much letters as I can, maybe I'll even stop by for a visit in Forks for Charlie so I won't cross the line. I'll find a way to get to you if I do. I know that special girl will catch your eye Jake.
It's always hard to say goodbye Jacob, but please, don't let this goodbye kill you. I'll always love you.
Bella
My clumsy scrawl of handwriting was legible and that made me smile. I looked over to him and saw another pen in his too big hand, scrawling something on the back of the double to the one I wrote on. It took him a few more minutes to finish up. When he did, he handed it to me and I handed mine to him. We divided up the copies, writing today's date on the back, and gave each other our piles. We got out of the cab into the pouring rain and ran up inside of the tiny red house. Billy was out fishing with Charlie so we had it to ourselves.
I hugged Jacob one last time and we both broke out again. He kissed me forehead and I kissed his cheek.
"Goodbye Bella. Write to me as much as possible okay? I love you." He trembled out in a horse voice.
"I will Jake. I love you too." My voice was just as horse as his.
"I'm going to miss you. I'll miss you so damn much." His whole body shook violently.
"I'm going to miss you too Jacob." I shook just as hard as he did.
"Bella?" he mumbled. I turned my head up to see him.
"Yeah Jake?"
"One last kiss, before you go. Please?" it faded into a low whisper. I looked at his raven black hair, soaked. His lengthy bangs attached to his forehead, eyes, cheekbones. He moved them for me. His dark eyes bored into mine; as hard as they were, every line was filled with soft, sweet hope. I wanted to cry. "Ask me Bella."
"Jacob," I chocked it in a low, horse voice. "will you kiss me? One last time?" I asked him. I saw one last single tear fall out with his sniff as he nodded and slowly put his lips to mine.
They were soft and warm, caressing in a way. I kissed back gently, our lips rocked back and forth slowly. He lovingly kissed my bottom and top lip, I did the same. He glided his hands to the back of my nape and I stopped them before he could reach it.
"Jake," I whispered. "No. I have to get back." It was ten at night and I had to get back to my new home.
"Okay. I understand." He murmured after we parted slowly. His breath was even and warm. I hugged him again, taking a wif of his woodsy smell.
"Goodbye Jacob Black." I whispered after kissing his cheek again.
"Goodbye Bella Swan." He whispered back after kissing mine, using my maiden name. I ran back out into the rain, getting a good look at the house, and into my truck to drive off.
By ten thirty, I was home, idly sitting in the mouth of the driveway that led to the garage, pouring my eyes out. Moments later, Edward was at my side. He picked me up and carried me to out room. When my eyes opened, I was laying on the bed, staring at him. He wiped my eyes and bought me into his chest.
I must've fallen asleep crying because I woke up looking at the window with Edward on the couch.
"Good morning," he whispered limply.
"Crap. I'm sorry you saw me like that again." I spoke rubbing my eyes sitting up. "I'm so sorry Edward. You know what happened,"
"I do."
"It was like his last request. I might never see him again." I tried to explain. I was a married woman and cheated on my new husband. Not only was I a horrible person, I was a cheater too. He must be disgusted with me. Kissing a werewolf after our wedding day. Ugh. "You don't hate me do you? You aren't disgusted with me?"
"No I'm not. Again, I wish you hadn't though. I couldn't hate you Bella. Not after everything we've been through. But, it's okay; it's hard, I understand. Do you still want to do this?" he asked thoughtfully.
"Of course, just give me my last human minutes," slugging out as I got off the huge bed.
"As many as you need." He nodded. I walked to the bathroom to wash up. I came out and saw my photos sprawled out on the bed covers.
"It looks like you had a very fun day." He commented flipping the pictures of the attacking ducks. "I would have loved to see him run like that."
"Hmmm. I'm glad it ended on a happy note." I agreed crawling back onto the bed. "They could've poked his eyes out."
"That wouldn't be oh so very bad," he commented lightly. I glared at him with anger and he apologized soon after. After flipping threw, his nostrils flared and his eyes shut tight.
"It has a note on the back and smells," he flicked it over to me and I flipped it over to read Jake's note.
Bella,
Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Write to me until there isn't anymore paper okay?
You know how much I love you and how much you mean to me, so, be super careful okay? I know he'll take care of you, but still watch out for yourself. If I ever hear your klutzy yelp when falling, I'll be there to help you get back up. Metaphorically of course.
I can feel the clouds crowd over me, as I knew this day would come. The rain will never go away huh? It might go away when you come back.
Be careful and don't forget to write.
Please, spare the wolves too.
Love always,
Jacob
I felt the tears well up but the didn't break through as I put down the picture.
"You aren't crying?" he asked astonished. I knew he read it; I didn't want him to but he did.
"No, I think I got it all out last night. Believe me; we both did." I placed the picture in my back pocket and organized the rest to place next to the stereo system. On the bed once more, I lied flat on my back and he was on his side.
"Are you one-hundred percent sure? It'll hurt." He cautioned. I rolled over on my side to face him.
"You silly vampire, I've been through trackers, loosing you, werewolves, the Volturi, High School, newborns, a vengeful vampire, Alice, marriage, and saying goodbye to my best friend. What else could hurt more then those?" I asked him. I kept them in order from when we started our relationship to now. "I can handle it."
"But can you handle three days of burning fire? Outlive it."
"Is burning fire really all that more painful then not seeing you for over six months? And vise versa." I reminded him, tapping his nose at the end.
"All right," he stated in defeat. He crouched over me and started kissing me down to the base on the left side of my neck.
"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, are you ready to become a vampire? To embrace three days of pain on the way?" he double checked. His cool breath sent shivers down my spine.
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I'm more ready then you'll ever know." I assured him. While I felt the warm ecstasy flood my body again, I felt his lips kiss my throat a few more times.
"Love, I'm so sorry from what I'm about—"
"Just shut up and bite me Edward." I cut him off. My demanded was one I would never let him disobey. I felt his mouth open and heard a wolf cry out in the woods. My eyes shot open, knowing it was Jacob. Edward ignored it,
And obeyed.