Me: I finally decided to update this after an eternity, but I don't think anyone reads this, so it's for my own benefit

Zack: (yawn) just get it over with and get to work on 'That is so unfair', ne?

Roxas: ya

Me: (sighs) see, my own benefit. I present chapter three

xXx

Chapter Three

Xemy says that now, we can go home. Vexen invented false hearts for us so we could live in peace, but none of us want to go home. We're family now.

I've been in the Organization for almost a year now and I get along with everyone and Sora and Riku come to visit, so I'm fine where I'm at but…I can't help but feel like there's something missing here.

Perhaps not enough adventure. Missions are lame, but the castle is never quiet enough to read and not even Zex is protecting the library now that he has Demyx.

Actually…nearly everyone's gotten with someone. Rox and Axel, Demy and Zex, Xiggy and Xaldin have a secret relationship that I swore never to tell about with the bribery of cookies, Larx and Marly and Luxord are still obsessed with gambling each other and that's better than nothing…Xemy has freakish issues in his relationships and never seems to settle down. Lexeaus decided to go out in the world on his own and Firefly comes to visit every so often. I'm getting freakishly bored and lonely.

Then, one day, out of sheer boredom and curiosity, I went into the basement floor to see what Vexen was up to. To my surprise, he was sprawled out on the floor in a Gackt cosplay…wow. Never saw that coming.

He was singing, quite badly and out of key, the words to Orenji no Taiyou, from the movie 'Moonchild'.

"Ya know, you just killed that song for me." I told him.

He jumped up and hit his head on some of the equipment in the science lab. "Geez, you scared me kid."

"Well, you're the one fantasizing about being a hot superstar." I pointed out. I personally like Miyavi better than Gackt or Hyde but I could never see this even in my dreams.

Vexen grinned sheepishly. "I like Gackt, he reminds me of Felix."

I had been fiddling with some of the equipment but when I heard that I looked up at him in shock. "Felix?"

"Ya, you should hear him sing. He probably wouldn't for you though. He doesn't seem to like you much, not sure why. And-"

"He doesn't like me? What's so bad about me?" I know I have faults but not so much as to hate me for them…

"As I recall, he said you were too oblivious and far too innocent for his tastes so he left and-"

"Wait, he left because of me? Why?" I needed to know.

"I just told you." Vexen sighed.

"But…oblivious of what? And what does innocence have anything to do with…" I trailed off. Maybe, it wasn't hate…directly, but more like he hated me for not realizing something. But what?

Vexen grinned at me. "You'll understand sooner or later. By then I might be able to actually make hearts."

"I thought you already did…" I looked at him, curiously.

He frowned. "They won't last long and I didn't make them. Jax did."

"Jax?" Who's that?

"Yup, XVI, Jax, the Keeper of Hearts. Arrived a few weeks ago but Felix keeps leading him away from the castle. Maybe he just doesn't like new people…"

I nodded weakly. Felix was keeping me here. That's what was missing …he…I dunno. He just makes things different here.

"Uhh…don't tell anyone about this…please?" Vexen said, I guess he meant his Gackt obsession.

I smirked. "What do I get for it?"

He sighed. "I dunno…you already got to see me fall into medical stuff and sing badly so…I dunno. I can't cook, you know that."

"Fix the library." I said. "Make it soundproof."

Vexen smiled and held out his hand. "Deal."

xXx

Vexen got to work on soundproofing my library and I set out to find Felix. I had a bone to pick with him.

It didn't take long to find him, every one of us has a tracker on our nametags so using the GPS was the easiest way to go. He was in Halloweentown…and I was curious as to why. Halloween isn't for four months.

He was sitting on a ledge over some water, twirling a forget me not in hs hand. He looked dead…-er than normal.

"Firefly?" I said.

"What do you want?" he mumbled, sounding as dead as he looked.

"I was curious…" I began as I sat next to him. "As to why you never come to the castle anymore."

"Since when did I have to come back at all?" he snapped.

I sighed. "Also, I wanted to know who this…Jax was."

He stared at me with disbelief. "I kept him away from you with good reason." he huffed.

"From me? I thought you might not like him or something but why keep him from me? I haven't even met him."

"Ya…and you should keep it that way." his voice was dead again.

I glared at the water. Contemplating whether to smack him, push him in the water or jump in myself, I saw him get up and start walking away. "What's with you? You never cared before and now you're…protecting me or something? Either you're a coward or you're hiding something. Whichever it is, I don't trust you." I said, jumping into the water to try and calm my nerves a little.

Though the cold water didn't help, it drowned out Felix's argument and that was all I needed.

Finally surfacing, I made sure not to look at him. "Ya know, I always thought something was wrong with you but I never thought you were so selfish. Can't you handle a little competition?"

"What do you mean?" Felix asked.

"You're afraid that Jax'll take me away from you and you don't want to lose to someone who hardly knows what he's fighting for. But then…I don't belong to you as it is so I wonder…" I gazed up at the watery depths of his cerulean eyes. "What are you so afraid of?'

He bit his bottom lip. I guess I was right then…at least, partway. He's afraid of losing what he never had.

"Jax has already seen you. He likes your attitude and the whole fox thing." My tail twitched. "I just…didn't want to see you end up with him when I knew I never stood a chance. If you found someone I'd want it to be someone who was at least better than me and not like him."

"Like him?" I pressed.

"He's cruel and selfish and cold to everyone." Felix explained.

I sighed. "Sounds like someone I know."

His gaze downcast. "So…I am selfish, and cold but…I don't see a reason why I could ever be happy."

I lay, floating in the water on my back. The stars were beginning to come out. "Would you've ever told me any of this if I hadn't come here?"

He gave a bitter laugh. "Probably not."

"Did you ever think…that maybe if you told me how you felt things would've been different?" I asked.

He didn't answer.

"How do you feel about me, anyway?" He hadn't told me he felt anything except selfishness.

Again, he didn't answer.

"Coward." I spat, diving into the water.

He's an idiot. I never felt any particular feelings about anyone (probably due to being a nobody without a heart) but…I wanted to know if he could feel that. And…if so, if he felt that for me…maybe I could understand what this all really means.

I got to thinking…maybe the hatred for him being so selfish and cowardice meant more than I gave it credit for.

The need to breathe had me surfaced again and he was still there, looking dead. "Zombie….." I mumbled.

"I'm not a zombie." he said, with extreme childishness. "I'm just thinking."

"Well you look dead when you think." I stated. "So will you tell me now?"

He sighed. "I…I'm not sure. All I know is I want you happy but I also want you to be with me…but I can't have both. You could never be happy with me, and so I'm not happy…but I…"

He was silent for awhile, and I just watched him, beginning to feel numb form the cold water. "So you see, I care deeply for you and I like you a lot but…either I'm not happy or you're not. And I'd rather see you happy then be selfish." He said with a slight inclination of his head.

I pouted. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Felix gazed at me. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe…I don't care if I don't end up happy. I never knew true happiness as it was so…can't we…ya know, try?" I felt rather desperate and pathetic but I just wanted a chance at happiness.

He grinned lightly and held out his hand. "Okay, we can try."

He pulled me out of the water and I felt a lot colder than I did in the water. I shivered.

"Baka, that's what you get for being in the cold water so long." He wrapped his Organization cloak around me and held me close to him. I felt a warmth I'd never felt before, wash over me.

I vaguely wonder…if this it what they mean by feelings…but I dismiss it and just enjoy the warmth that Felix gives me. I had a cold for a week but, in the end it was worth it…

I grin to myself, thinking back on the early days of O-13. I dunno what did it but…now, it doesn't matter how bored you get, there's always something to do and…for once…I feel at home.

xXx

Me: Aw, so cute and fluffy

Roxas and Zack: (snoring)

Me: (sniffs) you guys suck…read and review…please?