FAIRYTALE

Genre: Romance/Drama/Humor

Rating: T

Summary: A girl. A guy. Twenty-first century. An arranged marriage. Based on Goong.

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS or Goong or Kodocha.

iv. Whale Sperm

"Hey – that's mine!"

"Too slow."

Tomoyo pouted and grabbed for some tuna instead with her chopsticks. "HAHA!" she barked out a victorious laugh, throwing her head back; a waiter bumped into her and she dropped it with a SPLAT onto the floor.

"Smooth," Sakura snickered, "very smooth. Are you sure you're Asian? Do you need someone to teach you how to use chopsticks? That's what they call those two sticks you're holding, by the way."

"Very funny, you," Tomoyo mumbled and used her hands to take some sushi instead.

Rika rolled her eyes. "I might be too slow," she commented, "but you can't be too cocky either."

"I told you guys to order some ramen with me," Chiharu sniffed, "but noooooo. All of you had to eat raw fish that smells like the sea – the sea is just like a big tub of water with fish that pees and poops in it."

"And whale sperm."

"What?"

"It's the thing that makes the ocean salty."

Sakura choked a little and put down her chopsticks before reaching for her water. "OK, I'm full. Lost my appetite. Thanks to Tomoyo here," she glared at her, who just beamed back happily. Chiharu followed suit, and called for a waiter.

"Good! Now I can have all my salmon for myself."

"Marinated in fish poop, pee, and whale sperm," Sakura muttered. "Not to mention all the trash us humans dump into it."

"I'm not listening to you!" Tomoyo chirped happily before taking another slice.

Making a face, Chiharu turned towards the waiter. "Neither am I," she mumbled before smiling at the attendant. "I'll have a bowl of beef ramen, please."

"Make that two," Sakura butted in. "And the water pitcher's empty, can you fill that too?"

"Of course, miss," he bowed, took the pitcher with him and walked off.

"It feels nice, being the smart one," Rika said happily. "Now I just have to wait for you slow pokes to finish up."

"Please," Sakura laughed, "you're the slowest eater out of all of us. How long did it take you to eat those three fish balls again?"

"I beat my record!"

Tomoyo snorted. "Yeah. By two minutes. Good job. Three fish balls take thirty minutes to finish up?"

"They – they were big!" Rika flushed, embarrassed.

"Yeah, about the size of your eyeball." Chiharu said, sarcastically.

Sakura gulped down another glass of water before looking over at Rika's bowl and said, "Can you give me that fish ball then? I don't want to wait another ten minutes for you to finish one."

"Aww, does baby Wika have pwoblems chewing?" Tomoyo teased, and yelped as she playfully slapped her arm.

"Oof!" a voice … er, oof-ed from behind Tomoyo who attempted to shift out of the way to avoid the slap, causing her to bump into a stranger behind her. The bowl the stranger was holding slid out his grasp and shattered on the floor; the contents inside the bowl staining his shirt.

"Sorry!" Tomoyo gasped, grabbing two napkins and turning around, dabbing the top, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean –" She looked up and saw none other than Eriol Hiirigizawa.

Shit!

As she blushed ten different shades of red, her friends began to giggle insanely around her. Shit, Tomoyo cursed again, shit! Why did it have to be him? And with that, she grabbed all the napkins she could see scattered across the table – even the used ones – and started to wipe his shirt again.

"Hey, hey," Eriol took hold of her wrists and pushed her away, "it's fine. Just a shirt. Not the end of the world."

If it was even possible, Tomoyo's face turned even redder

"It was cold anyway, I wasn't planning to eat it," Eriol continued, smiling down at her. "Just wanted to complain to the cooks about how undercooked the stuff was –"

"Cold, eh?" Sakura smirked. "I'm sure you could put it on top of Tomoyo's head, it'll be a lot faster."

"Plus, free of charge," Chiharu muttered.

"And," Rika giggled, "you can also spend some quality time with her while you wait … without any objections."

"… uh, what?" Eriol blinked at them, not quite catching what they were saying, and the three collapsed in laughter as Tomoyo managed to tear her eyes away from Eriol's and glare at them.

"What's going on here?" his friend demanded, approaching them. "What's taking so long? Oh. No wonder."

Sakura sobered up as soon as she saw whom this friend was – of course, none other than Syaoran Li. After finding out about the whole 'arrangement', she couldn't help but feel a little awkward – shy, even. Does he know?

"You hear that, Moyo?" Rika, who was sitting next to the still red-in-the-face friend, nudged her with her elbow. "No wonder. Hmm, wonder what that means…"

Chiharu laughed along with her, but Sakura just gave a nervous giggle. "Ehehe…"

"Here's your order!" the waiter from before walked up to the girls' table and placed their orders in front of Sakura. "Two more bowls of beef ramen! Anything else you'd like?"

"No thank you," Sakura smiled at him, and he bowed and left. Forgetting all about her surroundings, she took a bowl and grabbed her chopsticks. "Finally! I'm starving, no thanks to –"

"Two more bowls?" Syaoran looked at her amusedly. "And you still haven't finishedthat?" He looked at a huge plate of sushi and sashimi, which was – oddly – also placed in front of her. "No need to go to the States any more," he muttered. "There's a Grand Canyon right here. In front of me, in fact."

"What I eat and how much I eat is none of your business," Sakura snapped. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm hungry and I don't want some baboon staring down at me while I eat."

"What's that?" Syaoran demanded instead, looking at the sushi.

Rika looked at him weirdly. "You … haven't seen sushi before?"

"That's sushi?"

The four girls could only gawk at him. Eriol chuckled nervously and said, "I guess that's another thing they don't let you eat in that creepy place of yours…"

"Want one?" Chiharu asked, who was still appalled. Someone who lives in Japan and hasn't even eaten sushi before! Or even seen it.

Wooooow.

Sakura could only freak out. He's never seen sushi before? she thought frantically.Is that what goes on the Li mansion every day? What do they eat then, some high-class but disgusting thing like bear's paw? What … what if they don't have chicken wings?

GASP!

As she panicked over bear paws and reindeer meat and chicken wings, the rest were bombarding Syaoran with questions.

"Do you know what a hamburger is?"

"You know about French fries, right?"

"This, Mr. Li, is called a carrot."

"No, that's just your foot."

"What about hog dogs?"

"What do you eat, anyway?"

Before Syaoran could answer, Eriol snorted and said, "Please. This was his first time eating hot pot."

Tomoyo, Chiharu and Rika gasped. "No!"

"Uh huh," Eriol nodded at them, and they shook their heads in disbelief.

This is getting ridiculous, Syaoran growled mentally.

"DONE!" Sakura exclaimed happily as she put down her chopsticks, cutting off all the questioning. "See, what did I tell you? I'm still the first!"

"There's still the sushi," Eriol pointed out.

"Whatever, that's Tomoyo's," Sakura shrugged, pushed back her chair and stood up. "Come on girls, let's leave Moyo and Eriol here and give them some peace and quiet, huh? I'd want some if I were eating fish marinated in fish poop, pee and whale sperm."

"Excuse me?" Syaoran eyed her. Chiharu and Rika giggled as they got up as well, and Eriol took Sakura's vacated seat.

"None of your business," Sakura shot back, beginning to leave with her two friends. "On second thought," she said, turning back and grabbing Syaoran's wrist, "you better come, you don't want to be the third wheel, do you?"

"…"

"H – hey! You guys!" Tomoyo squeaked, still in her spot, obviously debating whether or not she should leave. "You can't leave me here!"

"You've got Eriol for company, you shouldn't complain," Chiharu called back, and they ran off – except for Syaoran, who merely strutted behind them.

And so, they sprinted (and pranced) across the restaurant alllll the way to …

… Syaoran's and Eriol's table.

Which was only two tables away, but whatever.

Syaoran opened his mouth to say something as the girls sat down, but thought better of it and seated himself, mumbling furiously.

Listening to the girls around him laugh and point and talk, Syaoran scolded himself for giving in so quickly. Looks like I'm going to be here for awhile, he thought, reaching for something in his pockets. Might as well text Mother and tell her I'll be a little bit late –

"What's that?"

Great. Just what he needed. A nosy girl butting into his business.

When he didn't reply, Sakura leaned closer to him to peer at the device in his hands. "Is that a cell phone?"

"Looks like somebody grew a brain," Syaoran merely drawled as he typed in his message.

STUCK AT SOCCER PRACTICE –

No, no. His mom hadn't been too happy when she heard that he joined a sports team. "It'll take up all your time for your other duties!" she had scolded him as soon as she heard. So, no. He deleted it and tried again.

ERIOL HIIREGZAWA –

How the hell do you spell his name?

HIRIGASAWA –

HIIRIGEEZAWA –

Syaoran frowned. Maybe it's spelt like it sounds …

HEEREEGEEZAWAH?

OH FORGET IT.

ERIOL GOT HIT BY FIRE ENGINE. AT HOSPITAL WITH HIM NOW. WON'T BE HOME TIL –

Actually, this was worse. She'd probably go right up to the hospital and demand to see them both.

"Why don't you just tell her the truth?" Sakura asked him, still looking at his phone. "Why is your phone so fancy? Heeeey, what does this button do?"

As she raised her finger to answer her own question, Syaoran grabbed it and glared at her. "Mind your own fucking business, Deedee."

Tsk tsk, Syaoran. Don't swear!

Sakura, to his amazement, didn't even snap back. "You watch Dexter? And his Laboratory?"

SPRAINED MY NECK FOR STUDYING TOO HARD. WILL BE HOME LATE.

There. Satisfied, he hit the 'send' button.

"What's it to you?" he drawled, glaring once more at her shocked expression.

"You've never even seen what sushi looks like!" she said, dumbstruck. "And you watch cartoons?"

"Watched," Syaoran snapped back, shifting slightly away from her. "Past tense."

"But – but – how?"

"Television."

"I know that!" Sakura glowered at him, frowning. "But if your parents don't even let you –"

"I sneaked in the TV room while my mom was at meetings," he cut her off. "And my dad passed away."

"Oh," Sakura tore her gaze away from him, suddenly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry."

"Hn."

"Wait, wait, where's she going?" Rika wailed, breaking their silence. "Why is she standing up? Why is she glaring at him? Why did she – she slapped him!"

"What's going on?" Sakura looked where they were looking, not wanting to miss out in anything. "What's happening?"

Chiharu growled. "Tomoyo! She's been wanting this all year, ever since she saw him and – oh shit."

The three froze as their friend finally sought them out and began to stomp their way.

"Run?" Syaoran suggested, and they complied, dashing out of the door, nearly tripping a poor old lady.

"Sorry!" Sakura yelled over her shoulder, and the old lady merely shook her umbrella at them, yelling about in her days, when someone ran into an elder, they didn't just apologize, they got down on their knees and bowed three times, all the way onto the floor.

How old was that woman anyway, four thousand years old?

Back at the restaurant, Syaoran just stared at Eriol as he strutted over. Never thought Tomoyo would have it in her, he thought, wincing at the red mark on Eriol's cheek. Damn, that must hurt a lot.

"What the hell happened?" Syaoran demanded as Eriol seated himself. "Well?"

Eriol groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "I don't know."

"You don't know."

"…"

"Start from the beginning."

"It was going really well at first," Eriol explained, rubbing his sore cheek. "It was really easy to talk to her, we chatted about everything. The food, movies, music, what kind of toilet paper we used –"

"And what?" Syaoran snorted, "She disagreed to the kind you used, couldn't take it, and ran off?"

"I wish it'd be something as simple as that," his friend sighed. "But hmm, now that I think of it…"

"…"

"I said her eyes reminded me of Momoko."

"Who?"

"A … a person."

Syaoran's face was impassive. "A person."

"Yes."

"Let me guess …" he leaned against the back of his chair, almost touching the wall, "An ex-girlfriend of yours who just happens to be someone Tomoyo hates."

"… uh, sort of," Eriol fidgeted under his stare. "And … and then I thought about Momoko's hair, and it reminded me of Kira's. And then I remembered how Kira's dad was this big-time movie producer, and … well, she didn't get really angry until I asked her what her bra size was."

"…"

"…"

"You are the saddest, most pathetic human being on this side of the world."

Eriol glared at Syaoran. "It just burst from my mouth, I didn't mean to say it!"

"Have you ever heard of 'think before you speak'?" he asked.

"…"

"Thought so," he snorted, and stood up. He grabbed his bag and turned to look at Eriol, who was still slumped on his seat, looking miserable. "Coming?"

"You go ahead, I'll just … "

Syaoran rolled his eyes and went out the door, but not before advising his friend, "Tip if you want to know a girl better: Don't ask her bra size. Or any size at all."

As Syaoran went through the front doors, he attempted to throw his jacked onto a nearby cough and missed, and started swearing obscenely.

"Syaoran?"

"– that … oh, Mother," he chuckled nervously and started for the stairs to his room.

Yelan Li merely looked at her son amusingly. "How is your neck?"

My neck? Syaoran thought. What's wrong with my – oh. My neck.

"It's fine," Syaoran mumbled, and turned away again.

Yelan looked at his back before retreating from the hall, saying, "Meet me in the dining room in five minutes."

Snorting, Syaoran set off for his room once more. "Five minutes," he grunted. "Where does she think we live in, a tiny tree house?"

"You're late," was his mother's greeting when he entered the dining room fifteen minutes later. "Sit down."

Knowing better than to argue about his tardiness, Syaoran did as he was told. He saw the food before him and brightened slightly, and began helping himself. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?" he asked between mouthfuls.

His appetite must be the size of his mansion.

"Wei," Yelan motioned at the butler beside her and he bowed before leaving. Turning back to her son, she began, "I'm sure you remember what I said a few months before."

"Hnn?" Syaoran glanced at his mother, who hadn't even moved her napkin. "Oh, you mean that thing about the credit card thing?"

"No."

"The toilet paper?" he swallowed and frowned. "'Cause I think the ones we're using now aren't that good, I might just as well grab a tree bark and wipe my –"

"No!"

"Well what is it?" Syaoran asked, frustrated. She tells me everything and she expects me to remember exactly what she said? Who does –

"Marriage."

"Oh. Oh."

Wei came back into the room just then and handed a piece of paper to Yelan, who placed it on the table face-down.

"I heard your – ah – proposal didn't go that well with Gayta –"

"Kaeda."

"Yes, her," she sniffed, "And I'm pretty sure you aren't getting any closer to finding a wife, let alone a steady girlfriend any time soon than you are joining the Olympics –"

"What?" Syaoran choked on his rice. "I am too! You said it yourself, I could join the Olympics if I wanted to, but since I –"

"– and SO," Yelan interrupted him, "I have decided to take up your grandfather's wish."

"– could be a sumo wrestler if I could, but God, all that fat flying around –"

"– and that is, to marry you to his best friend's granddaughter."

"– ice skating, I could be the next Michelle Kwan – WHAT?"

Grimacing at the sight inside Syaoran's open mouth, Yelan coughed nervously. "I'm sure you're wondering who it is?"

"..."

"Syaoran?"

"I'M ONLY EIGHTEEN!"

"Perfectly legal to get married, I assure you," she gave him a small smile before spooning some soap into her bowl.

Syaoran mumbled something incoherently before reaching for his glass and taking a gulp. "I am NOT getting married to someone who I don't even know!"

"That's up to your fiancée."

"Why?"

"Don't spit."

"I'm not spitting!"

"You spat rice right on top of the photo of her," Yelan scolded him, reaching for the picture, still lying face-down. "Some habits just don't change."

Syaoran ignored the comment and glared at her. "Mother," he started furiously, "I refuse to do it."

"It's your duty."

"Why?"

"Every marriage in our family," Yelan started, "have always been arranged. It's tradition."

Syaoran made a comment on what they could do with tradition which made Yelan pinch his arm, hard.

"OW!" he yelped, rubbing the sore spot. "That hurts!"

"It's tradition, and I don't want my son to be the first to break it!"

"Then why didn't you stop me when I told you I was going to propose to Kaeda?"

Yelan rolled her eyes and couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "You never told me," she answered. "You did so without consulting anyone. It wasn't until after you got rejected did you tell me."

Syaoran flushed. "I – she – I didn't get rejected!"

"Whatever you say," Yelan shook her head. "The thing is, Syaoran Li: you are marrying this girl whether you like it or not."

"And what if Kaeda had accepted?" he demanded, glaring at her. "Would you have let me get married to her, then?"

"Would you have wanted to?"

He frowned again. "I proposed! Of course I wanted to!"

"From what you told me," Yelan said, "you never told her you loved her. You never said anything along the lines of 'I love you, will you marry me?' Oh, no. You said –"

"I know perfectly what I said!" Syaoran grunted before taking a bite once more. "Don't even remind me."

"Well?"

"What?"

"Aren't you curious what this girl looks like?"

Looking at his mother's expression, he couldn't help but let out a sigh. Yelan took that as a yes and took the photo but shook her head once she examined it.

"Must you spit out your food all over the table while you eat?" she scowled, taking a napkin. "What are you, a caveman?"

"I don't know, did they have arranged marriages then?"

"Don't be short with me," Yelan rolled her eyes and handed him the picture. Syaoran's eyes widened as he saw who it was.

"Sakura Kinomoto?"

"Ah, I see you two already know each other," Yelan commented, pleased. "This makes it a whole lot easier. Maybe she can come over next –"

"No way. Nuh uh. Anyone but her!"

"I think she's quite pretty."

"You said the same thing about that fat lady who you set me up with last month."

"She was!"

"She was fat, she had all this make up on her and she probably dumped twenty bottles of perfume on herself. No."

Yelan took the picture from his hands and held it up for him to see, pointing at Sakura smilig happily at the camera, the wind blowing in her hair slightly. "Well, is she fat?"

"Yes."

"Does she have any make up on? Any perfume?"

"You have no idea."

"Good."

Syaoran blinked at her. "What?"

"Looks like you're going to be stuck with a fat, made up woman for the rest of your life," Yelan grinned at him. "Good luck."

Syaoran could only snort before grabbing the last chicken wing from the platter.

A/N:

Thank you all for the reviews:)

Bit of a short chapter, mainly S/S moments. That's my … uh, Chinese New Year gift to you? And you can leave lots and lots of reviews as a present too, yay! 8DDDDDDD

Oh, and I also changed the summary a little. Heh. And I couldn't think up a chapter name, so … XD

I have to say, I'm disappointed in you. 11 reviews for A Waste of Time? Come on, people! It might have sucked, but I want your input. D: So after you've reviewed for this chapter (COUGH HINT COUGH), drop in another for AWOT if you haven't already.

OK? OK.

ilu.