...same as always; i dun own Disgaea, i only own Atsu. and flames are always welcome.

-Chapter Eight- As if in Dreaming

"Laharl…" he felt a warm, light touch at his shoulder, and unconsciously thought of it as a reminiscing flame grazing his arm. He tensed slightly, becoming aware of a soft, concerned voice. "Laharl…!"

He tried to roll over, away from the disturbance, and yet more than anything, what he wanted to do was wake up.

"Laharl, honey, wake up…!" the voice was becoming more familiar… "Laharl, you were dreaming, wake up!"

Atsu.

Without fully opening his eyes, he jolted up and flung his arms around her, taking her into a tight embrace, refusing to let go.

"Oh my…!" she exclaimed, taking his shoulders lightly, getting him to face her. "What is this..? What's this about, dear?"

"So it was…" he felt overwhelmed, staring up at her old eyes. Old, but still alive. He knew the tightness in his throat, and simply allowed himself to fall into her embrace again, crying tears of relief freely. "…just a dream…"

"Come now…" she stoked away his tears with a soft hand. "Was it really all that terrible…? Do you want to talk about it?"

He told her.

"And then… when I found you, you were…" he couldn't allow himself to finish. Don't spoil with new tears of despair; it doesn't work that way.

"Oh my…" she repeated, less shocked than he suspected. It was as if she'd heard it before, or at least something similar.

It wasn't until then that she realised the Harusame Flower had been sitting beside him overnight.

"Laharl…" she said. "There's… something I should have told you earlier, about that Flower…"

"Yeah? What is it?" general curiosity.

"Other than calming people… the Harusame has another power."

He dared not ask.

"Dreams."

Laharl just about fell over. "You mean to tell me that all this time I've been having these weird dreams just because of some stupid flower!?" he asked hotly. Well, now doesn't that sound like the Laharl she doesn't know?

"Partly, yes." She began, folding her hands. At least this topic wasn't so hard to explain. "You see, this flower can create dreams of any sort. The first one you had the other night – about your mother- must have been a kind of 'reunion dream' where you see or have visions of someone who is deceased. These can be happy, sad… melancholy, anything, really."

"…you… know about my mother? And my dream? But I never told you about that one…"

"You were talking in your sleep, you said one word, and it was 'mother'. And you were crying."

He felt his face go instantly red. "Were you…watching me…?"

"Well, I thought you were awake, at first, so I came into check on you, see if you wanted or needed anything."

"…that wasn't a good dream." He shuddered, referring to how she had said some of these 'reunion dreams' could be happy. "It was like… watching my mother leave again." He glanced down away from her, rubbing his arms as if cold. "It wasn't any kind of reunion."

"It could have been a vision – a dreaming memory of what had happened." She dared not ask what had occurred to make him say 'leave' – she had expected him to say 'die'. "But in any case, the Harusame Flower can produce any sort of dream associated with similar things."

"…like nightmares?"

"Yes, even nightmares." She answered softly.

"…Atsu?"

"Yes Laharl?"

"…I had a dream once, that I had two good friends…" he began, hoping she would understand what he was already trying to say. "but they got in a fight with me, so they left… and then I found a town, where I met this really nice old woman… who said I could stay with her until I pulled myself back together… but Atsu…?" he gave her a pleading look that nearly said it all. "I don't think I'm ready yet… I haven't pulled myself together at all; I fell like I've gotten worse…"

She knew exactly what he was trying to say, in this story, so to speak. But… she was unsure if she could help him any more than she already was; she didn't know what had occurred in his past—she wasn't even sure just how exactly he'd ended up in this town in the first place.

"…what do I do…?" he whispered, wishing it really could have been all just a dream.

Or at least be able to wake up.

The morning was soon ending, and nearing noon. Laharl was helping Atsu outside with a few random chores which included going a ways back to a place he'd never seen or even knew about before. It was like a bird house… only downstairs.

The hill he had visited in a previous dream was truly there, and very noticeable of course, for it loomed over her house like some kind of natural guardian. And it also provided a special haven she'd kept to herself up till now.

What he had never noticed before, was the amazing glass structure on the other side of the hill that not only represented a window, but also a perch, and bench.

Inside, under the hill, was a tall, towering room with a beautifully constructed black and silver metal cage that held countless doves.

She smiled to herself, seeing the bewildered look on his face as they entered, the light from the prismatic glass window filtered down and reflected off of the bronze floor. "You know… back when my sister and I were young, we loved birds… And we loved making things like this." She explained lightly, her face full with a remembering smile and expression.

He turned to her, shocked. "You MADE all this!?"

Atsu gave a simple smile and led him inside, showing him to the vast cage. "Yes. And these are our birds; Mourning Doves."

"Mourning Doves? Huh…" he almost wanted to try and count them inside this massive structure, but decided against it. He'd probably be there the entire week. "…you keep them in there, locked up?"

She gave a hearty laugh. "Oh, no, no… you see these bars? They are much too wide to keep even me in that cage. That window is always open; they come and go as they please, and I keep them healthy and fed."

He was purely amazed. "Atsu… why mourning doves?"

"Do you know why they call them mourning doves…?"

"Because they only come out during the morning?"

"No Laharl… mourning doves… spelt with a 'u'"

The first thing that flashed through his mind when he heard this was standing there with is father on the top of the cliff, looking down at his mother's grave.

It was not a pleasant thing to remember.

"…you see, we thought it we could take something so sad and make it look beautiful, we could lessen the pain."

Had she not have said the last few words he would have burst out 'What, glorify pain? Sadness?!' such a thing put him in a sour, defensive mood.

Atsu noticed this almost instantly and landed a hand down on his shoulder. "Come with me." She said gently, taking him to the side of the cage where there was a wire-frame door. She opened it easily by swinging it outward and led him inside.

For minutes he felt he just stood there, looking straight up at the Mourning Doves fluttering and perched above him. The very site of so much activity, yet utter tranquillity settled his mood down, and he was gradually calmed him.

Atsu held an arm up, and a golden-tan dove fluttered down to her, settling on her offered hand. Gold? A golden dove? He'd never seen one before, and found himself staring.

Atsu turned slowly to him, a peaceful look spread across her old face. "Here, take her." She instructed sincerely, extending her arm to him. He wasn't exactly sure why, or even how to.

"Why?" he began.

"I want you to see for yourself… I want you to let her go."

"What? Why…? She looks so different… so special…" he was attempting to stall her for a reason he himself didn't quite recognize.

"She is. She was the very first dove I collected… my sister chose her above any other… and she's been here ever since we brought her here."

"…the why let her go…?"

"Dear Laharl… I want you to see, that no matter how many times you let someone go you love and trust, they will always return to you."

At last he understood. Flonne's face flashed through his mind and he wanted to turn away as if this golden dove were her.

How could she have been so… terrible to him? He trusted her… and he knew she had at least at one time trusted him…

Trust…

Is that what Atsu was trying to say now? That Flonne would come back to him? He hoped she was right, and lent his hand out to her, waiting for Atsu to pass of her golden dove to him.

When she touched his arm and gripped ever so lightly on his hand, he felt at… peace, like she was the very embodiment of the Harusame Flower.

"That's it… now come with me…" she guided him to the glass window, opening some unknown door and stepped out onto a terrace with silver columns.

He steadied himself, not wanting to trip or cause the bird to fall or loose her balance. Slow, small cautious steps were made until he reached Atsu's side. He took one last look at the golden feathers, then glanced hesitantly up at Atsu, as if to say 'are you sure you want me to let her go?'

A simple nod and he believed her.

Laharl held up his arm, waiting for the golden bird to take flight. When she didn't leave at first, he became worried and doubted. Atsu gave him a reassuring look, and he tried again, this time jerking his arm slightly at the top of his reach.

She took off in a flurry of wings and feathers, and they watched her go. It was something terribly sad to him, and yet he couldn't place just why he felt like this for some bird. Maybe it was because she was so special a thing to Atsu?

Or because he seemed to symbolize her to Flonne and Etna's departure as well.

Departure… and she was descending… an animal shape? So that was it. His mother had taken on the form of something inhumanly, and so was this bird which he had some kind of tie to. Both departed by descending…

He shook away the torturous thoughts and Atsu took him back to her house where they would continue with their random chores. He couldn't help but glance back up at the hill occasionally for maybe a glimpse of gold.

It was nearly 5pm when he heard a familiar cooing sound, and he gazed out the window from the living room atop his little fortress of cushions. It was low, mournful, of course, and he recognised it instantly. Swiftly he jumped down and called for Atsu, hurrying outside.

The golden dove stood perfectly still, as if waiting for him at the door, looking straight up at him. "She came back…" he breathed, a little wide-eyed. "How…?"

He felt Atsu's hand at his shoulder, and he glanced up at her questionably.

"You see? No matter how far they go…" she bent down to take up her bird and stoked the top of its head. "They will always know where to return to, and that it their friend's side." She turned to him sweetly. "I'm sure your friends will return to you soon enough.

They would have to. She couldn't and would not be there forever.

Sleep did not come easily for him that night. Laharl lie there most of the time awake atop his cloud of blankets and things, staring blankly up at the low ceiling. He had a horrible sense of foreboding again, and had a string urge to go check on Atsu.

So he did.

He jumped down lightly, his socks even greater muffling the thump against the soft carpet. He stayed there, crouched for a moment as if listening for any kind of movement, and soon made his way back to her room.

Slowly, for he knew the door creaked when touched, he gently pushed it to a comfortable open, ajar enough whereas he could slip inside.

He came to the corner of her large bed nearly staring at her. How… peaceful… he thought slowly sighing.

Almost too peaceful.

Laharl trotted up to the side of the bed she was closest to and stood on his toes, leaning over her chest, ear pressed down to listen for a beat.

How terribly faint it was… it made him very uncomfortable, and he pulled away quickly as if he stayed listening too long, he would hear its end.

He shook the feeling off and glanced down at her soft, aged face. The sense loomed over him like a dank cloud as if… this would be the last time he would see her… Alive.

He fought it down and climbed up on the other side of the bed, hiding his face in bath a separate pillow and his scarf. Hell, he thought that if that scarf was any more reactive, he would have considered it his good friend.

Laharl lay atop the covers, not wanting to disrupt her any more than he probably already had by trying to listen to her heart.

He felt the need to be close to her, to protect her. Not because of the ugly things he'd seen in his previous dreams, but merely because…

By the time midnight had come, he eased… alert; not fully awake and found the blanket had been pulled snug up to his shoulder. Atsu still lay beside him, her back turned, and without fully realising it, he pulled closer to her.

In moments he'd relaxed and fallen asleep and slept a peaceful, dreamless night for once in a long while.