Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all of its scenarios, characters, places and stuff are property of Square-Enix and their intellectual owners. Not me. So don't sue. Also, this fic was inspired by the song "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors. Try it, you might like it. Peace.

Back at the Turk headquarters, an unusually anxious Rude was pacing the length of his room at the prospect of meeting the young Wutain princess. Honestly, he had no intention of getting married...well, anymore. It wasn't too long after he mailed the letter to the King of Wutai that he sat down and thought about what a monumental change marriage would mean in his life. His bar would probably have to go down the tubes because a wife would never tolerate him in a bar. Furthermore, the more he thought about it, the less badass he felt. Just because he was the leader of a fierce organization, didn't mean that he wouldn't be a wuss for having a wife and maybe even...kids...someday. Not to mention they could be used against him if someone ever really wanted to go after him for some reason or another. It would have been his tenth circuit around the room when a lanky redhead stuck his leg out in front of his partner, tripping him and stopping his mini-marathon.

"Yo man, that's like, the millionth time you've gone around the room. What's your problem?"

"...I don't want to get married."

"Then don't. But stop pacing. You're driving me crazy, yo."

"You go."
"What!"

"You go. I can't do it. I made a mistake. I never should have sent that letter to Kisaragi taishou."

"You're outta your mind partner! I ain't going for you!"

"Come on...you have to! I can't do this. But I can't stiff her either. Her father is one of the most powerful people on the planet! Can't you do me this one favor? Please Reno? Buddy? Partner?"

"Only on one condition."

"No..."

"Yes!"

Rude sulkily handed over his last pair of sunglasses to Reno, who proceeded to stomp on them and walk out of the room with a satisfied grin on his face.

When the door shut and Reno's footsteps had faded, he pulled out a pair from the dresser drawer, which apparently, was full of them.

The next morning, Himiko had Yuffie up bright and early to get her properly dressed and made up for the coming day.

"Oh Yuffie-Chan, I have watched you grow up from a little baby to now a beautiful young woman, blossoming like the cherry blossom on the branch. I cannot tell you how proud and how happy I am to see you try and find a suitable husband."

Yuffie sleepily grunted in reply as her handmaid cinched the obi around her middle.

"Your father must care so much about you to go through all this trouble to find you a good husband. I know that he is twice as proud, if not more, than I am of his daughter. There!"

It never failed to amaze the young girl how radically different she looked dressed up in that garish outfit, and painted up like some doll. She could never quite decide if it made her look pretty and mature, or strange and fake. When she turned to the mirror, she still could not make up her mind.

Regardless of how I feel, I hafta totally throw this proposal! Otherwise I got no hope with that babelicious Crown Prince of Nibelheim!

She smiled to herself and let Himiko lead her out to the main chamber.

Her father nodded and smiled his approval, and waved her out of the palace. Reeve, her father's faithful advisor and her confidant, rode along with her to Costa del Sol where she was supposed to meet her potential husband. Her heart twittered in her chest the whole way there, and she swore that no matter what happened, she would not give him the pleasure of liking her. Reeve, sensing the girl's anxiety, tried his best to distract her with banter and silly games, taking her mind off the situation at hand. He knew her thoughts and was troubled with the idea that he might have said too much in letting her know that Vincent Valentine was interested. Either way, he knew he could not remedy whatever damage had been caused, and vowed to do his best to help her, since he felt partially responsible for the nervousness she felt at having to mess up this one on purpose.

Upon arriving at Costa del Sol, they headed straight for the dock where Rude was supposedly going to meet them to take them on a little cruise on his personal boat. Rude was not yet there, which is something that Reeve considered a little unusual for the man. Reeve had dealt with Rude before and noted that he was very punctual and proper, even for being something of what might be considered a brutish man. It was about fifteen minutes later, after Yuffie's incessant whining about how she felt like she was melting away that a bright red boat pulled up to the dock. Reeve took a step forward, ready to introduce young Princess Kisaragi to Rude for the first time, but was surprised when a wild-looking man with startling blue eyes and flaming red hair jumped out of the boat.

"Sorry I'm late, yo. My name is Re----ude Sparks. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Reeve, still in shock, mouthed silently to the man. He knew him; this was Rude's partner, Reno Kobayashi-Kim.

You're not Rude Sparks!

I know! I'll explain later.

"It's good to see you again Mr...Sparks. It's been a while."

"Yeah, no kiddin'."

"I'd like you to meet the young Princess, Yuffie Kisaragi of Wutai."

The redhead cast a cold blue eye upon the girl in front of him and jerked his head as a sign of acknowledgment.

"I, uh, heard lots of things about ya." She sputtered awkwardly.

"Yeah, well...that goes with bein' a Turk, ya know?"

"Yuffie, would you excuse Mr. Sparks and I for a second?"
"Sure."

A very nervous Reeve escorted Reno off to the side and whispered to him hurriedly.

"Reno! What are you doing? Yuffie was supposed to meet Rude! Not you! If this is some joke or some game, I can promise you Kisaragi taishou will definitely not be pleased!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch Reeve. Rude couldn't make it."
"Why ever not?"

"Coz he got cold feet, yo. He realized that he didn't wanna get married and hafta give up this and that. So he asked me if I would come for him. Ain't no harm. All I gotta do is pretend to be Rude for a day and keep the kid from liking me. That's all."

Reeve was very worried and not quite convinced, but couldn't think of anything to say. It was as simple as that, he supposed. And Yuffie was holding out for Vincent Valentine anyway.

"I suppose there's no harm in that, but please be careful. This would be an absolute catastrophe if word got back to Kisaragi taishou..."

"i know, ya know? I got a reputation to protect too. So let's just get this over with, go home and forget about it. Aight?"

Reno went back to where Yuffie was standing with Reeve in tow. He extended an arm to the girl and ushered her to the boat with a charismatic smile plastered on his face.

Yuffie hated to admit it, but there was something faintly charming about the redhead who was supposed to woo her. She couldn't believe the color of his hair, or the luster of his eyes. Even the texture of his voice, even if not as deep and sonorous as that of Vincent, was smooth like vanilla ice cream, with a distinct gangster drawl to it.

What am I thinking! I can't be thinking these things about this guy! I'm after Vinnie of Nibelheim! Get your head in the game Kisaragi!

The boat ride had not been what Yuffie would have chosen for a date, had she been given the option. She spent most of the time hanging over the railing of the boat, puking what little she had eaten for breakfast that morning, into the warm ocean below. She hadn't realized that the reaches of her tendency towards motion sickness would extend this far, but sure enough from the moment she stepped on the boat, a queazy lightheadedness settled in over her like a blanket. She was sure that she had not cut an impressive figure to the young redhead steering the boat, most likely watching her with a disgusted eye, as time and time again she heaved a stomachful of tea and rice and other assorted goods, into the ocean.

It was true that Reno was keeping an eye on the young girl. And yes, every time he heard her gagging, it did kind of send off a wave of nausea into him. But he understood that people did get sick, after all, not everyone could be blessed with his strength and tenacity, and thus he was more concerned that one of these times, the poor girl was going to heave so hard that she was going to fall right into the ocean along with the contents of her stomach.

Reeve was standing anxiously in the cabin, playing out all the different ways this could go in his mind. In one instant he could be thinking that everything would be fine and that Yuffie would not have anything more to say about "Rude Sparks" other than his choice of date ideas "sucked", to use the young girl's vernacular. Yet at another moment he could almost smell himself roasting, as Kisaragi taisho put him under the red hot spotlight, once Yuffie had said something about Rude being...well...not Rude.

A bored voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What is your problem man? You been standin' there twitchin' since we started this lil adventure. And that girl of yours, Goofy, or whatever her name is, don't seem to be having too much fun herself."

"You will NOT refer to Princess YUFFIE like that!"

"Yeah fine. Yuf. Whatever. I say we turn this boat around and go get some food instead of dragging this on. You better go keep an eye on that Yuf-girl, before she falls into the ocean. I ain't jumping in to save her."

Reeve, in a gesture of despair and irritation, rubbed the palms of his hands against his temples and cheeks, and prayed to Leviathan to let everything come out okay.

After a violent ride back to Costa del Sol, where Reno had made such a sharp U-ey that both Yuffie and Reeve almost went catapulting over the railing, they tried to decide on what to eat. The young princess was still woozy and very wary of attempting to eat anything, but hadn't been this far out of Wutai in a long time, and appreciated the fact that she could try some new food, other than the bland rice and mixed dishes she got at home. Not to say that she couldn't have ordered a servant out to get her something new and good to try, it was just a different feeling, being able to do this on her own.

When Reno went to the bar to go order them some food, Yuffie asked if Reeve couldn't PHS someone to get her some new clothes. The kimono she was wearing reeked of vomit and sea water, and was making her sick as is. Not to mention it was as hot as a frying pan in the tropical resort, and she couldn't stand being bundled up.

"I had a feeling you might say something like that, but I don't think Kisaragi taishou would approve of you dressing in such a manner on such a...formal...occassion. So I took the liberty of bringing you some extra clothes myself."

Yuffie almost threw herself at Reeve to hug him as a sign of appreciation, but reconsidered when he recoiled from her first step at taking a lunge at him.

"Oh, right, I guess I should change first. But where?"

Reeve pointed her in the direction of an inn, where she could most certainly use their bathroom to change and freshen herself up before the meal. Just as Yuffie left, Reno returned, arms laden with three trays of take-out Mexican food and a couple of beers, along with a few sodas, considering he didn't know whether or not the kid could drink yet.

"Hey, where did Yuf go? Ain't she gonna help carry some of this?"

"Even IF the princess were here, she would NOT be expected to carry any of this. I will help you. But in the meantime, just wait patiently. She went to the restroom to try and clean herself up before lunch."

"Geez, all we're gonna do is sit down at the beach and eat some food, yo. Ain't like we're going on some high-class restaurant or somethin'."

Reno's jaw hit the floor, and the food almost followed suit, when the young ninja princess came out of the inn, long legs shining in the sun and all pale smooth skin exposed in her "city attire" of floral print tank top, covered by a vest, and short-shorts that accentuated the exquisite length and shape of her legs, even beneath the tall, white boots she wore.

"Oh jeez," The young Turk thought to himself, "I think I'm in love."