Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters contained herewith. Yadda yadda yadda. Not mine, unless I made them up. There. Easy as pie.
I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the first Chapter. Even the random "OMGZ YOU ROXXORZ." Type. I don't, for your info. But it's always nice to hear. Well, I'm encouraging CC here, if there's something in my writing style you'd like to see me improve, just say so in your review and I will endeavour to improve that area.
I hope you like this installment. I hope I didn't make it too emo for you. Well, before I ramble. I hope you guys like it!
Now, on with the story.
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Someday To You
Chapter 2:
Don't Lose Faith
"Happy Birthday, Edward!" No answer. "Edward?" Still no answer. "ED!"
"Huh, what? Yes Noa?" The young man looked up at her. "Did you say something?"
"I said, Happy Birthday."
"Oh, thanks Noa," the Alchemist smiled, returning her brief hug.
"Don't mind him, dear," Al's voice cut in from the doorway where he stood, drying his hands on a dish-towel. "You know how he always has his head up in the clouds." He grinned, sticking his tongue out at his older brother.
"Real funny, Al," Ed pulled a wry face, eying his brother peevishly.
"Noa and I are going to go out for awhile, do you need anything?"
"Nah. You two have fun." Noa leaned in and kissed his cheek.
"Don't stay up too late, Ed." She smiled.
"Yes, mom." He shot back. "Now get outta here, lovebirds."
Al patted his brother's shoulder briefly, helping Noa into her coat and taking her hand. The two of them stepped out into the cold evening, their heads already together, inseparable as always. Ed smiled as they left, happy that his brother had found someone who cared for him as much as he did. Getting out of his chair, he went over to the window. Outside, the sun was just setting, casting a blood red light over the city. He watched as the couple wandered off down the street, talking and laughing together.
He sighed wistfully, watching until he was sure they were gone. When they turned a far corner, he sprang to the coat rack, grabbing his heavy coat, and throwing it around his shoulders. Putting more logs on the fire, he set an envelope on the mantelpiece and stepped out of the house, locking the door behind him and walking off in the opposite direction from the one they had taken. The night air was brisk and cool, so he jogged for a good part of the three miles to an old, abandoned warehouse. Glancing warily around to ensure that no one was watching, he pushed the old door open and slid inside, sliding it closed again behind him.
Inside, it was pitch black, the musty smell of rotting paper and wood hung in the air as he reached to the right of the door and flipped a switch. The room was bathed in a subtle, orange light. The inside of the warehouse was clean, all the furniture having been pushed up against the walls. Rotting wiring hung down from the rafters, and a rank odour of rot and dampness permeated the entire building. The warehouse in itself was nothing out of the ordinary, except for a large cloth, easily thirty feet wide and forty long, which was spread out on the floor.
Ed walked over to the cloth and pulled it aside, revealing a circle which had been painstakingly drawn on the floor with chalk. Numerous intricate lines traced all over it, criss-crossing, intersecting, and twisting around each other. Ed stared down at the Alchemy matrix, scrutinizing every twist and turn, every line to make sure it was perfect. He remembered the self-same matrix on the body of Rose's baby as he was held aloft in Dante's hand. He could remember the way it glowed as the Door opened before him. He also remembered her saying that the baby simply made it easier to open the doors because of his innocence.
He stared for a long time at the matrix, a battle raging in his mind. Desperately he wanted to use this thing, but there was always that unbridled fear that it might not work. He didn't know how he would take that, but he had to try.
Winry…I'm coming.
Pulling off his gloves, he knelt by the matrix. For a long moment he simply stayed that way, staring down at the chalk drawing. But finally, he shook off the dread that weighed on his heart. Taking a deep breath, he clapped his hands and slowly lowered them, just little by little. An inch from the floor, he hesitated, uncertain whether to continue. In his mind the battle raged anew, but only for a moment. He dropped his hands onto the edge of the matrix and waited. Waited for that familiar surge of power that would signal the beginning of the transmutation, but nothing happened. He clapped his hands again and dropped them onto the circle, focusing all his will into the matrix. Still, nothing happened.
Frantically, he grabbed a piece of chalk and drew a smaller matrix. Clapping his hands again, he touched it, nothing happened. Over and over he drew different matrixes, clapping and touching each one, his frantic movements stirring the birds which roosted high in the rafters. Nothing happened. Finally, after his thirty-fifth attempt, the truth began to dawn on him. Alchemy still didn't work here. Without a catalyst like Envy, the matrix would not work. The utter hopelessness hit him like a blow to the head, and he pounded the Automail into the floor, again and again until his shoulder ached and large cracks formed in the floor. He kept on hitting the ground, the despair he had been keeping firmly in check for the past years breaking free and with one sweep of its hand, destroying his hopes.
Jumping up, tears beginning to course down his cheeks, he grabbed the nearest piece of furniture, a plain wooden chair, and flung it against a solid, steel filing cabinet, the rotten wood shattered. Turning, he slammed his fist against a stout, oaken table, the Automail smashing through it as if it were made of paper. His rage spent, Ed slumped, slowly to the floor, his tears staining the tiles.
It didn't work…What do I do now? Will I ever get home?
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"There you go, Jan." Winry tightened the last screw on an Automail leg. "That should do it."
"Thank you, Winry." The young man replied. "I don't know what I'd do without you here."
"Let it rust and fall off, most probably." Came the disapproving reply.
Jan laughed and abruptly kissed her cheek, getting off her table and walking out, waving over his shoulder at her. Winry stood, rooted to the spot for long moments, before slowly touching her cheek. She stood in a daze for what seemed an age, until finally shaking her head vehemently and shutting the door. She turned the sign to 'closed,' and headed into the house.
Shedding clothes as she moved across her room, she stepped into the bathroom, running the tap until the tub was brimful of warm water. Slowly, she lowered herself into the bath, the warmth gradually relaxing her tensed muscles. She sank deeper into the water, until just her eyes and nose were above the waterline, her thoughts drifting listlessly.
Today was Ed's birthday. No one else remembered. Not Mustang, or Ms. Hawkeye, or even Rose. He was just a memory to them, someone who might have existed, or might not have. She shut her eyes, lying back in the water. Where was he now? Was he even still alive on the other side of the Gate? Did his Automail still fit? Was he taking care of it? Did he look any different? All those questions, and countless more ran through her head, as her thoughts drifted back to the one boy, one man she had ever loved.
It was a little over an hour later, when she stepped out of the tub. She pulled the plug, watching the water swirl and disappear down the drain, before drying herself, and slipping into her nightgown. Lighting a candle, she traversed the hallway to a small room in a corner of the house. Opening the door, she took a moment to brace herself before stepping inside.
It was undoubtedly a boy's room. The shelves in the corner were stacked with Alchemy research books, the walls were plastered with experimental matrixes. Even the smell that lingered was unmistakably masculine. She moved to the desk, running her fingers lovingly across an old, tattered, leather bound book which lay on it. Ed's journal. She'd read it more times than she could count. And almost knew it by heart. It never mentioned her, not in a positive light at least, but it was part of him. His strong handwriting understating that steady flame she had always seen in his eyes.
Picking up the volume, she lay on the bed, ignoring her damp hair, and began to read. It was not a thick book, and she was a fast reader, so it was perhaps three hours later that she finished it, for the forty-seventh time since Ed had left. She stared at the blank leather of the binding for a long while. Gradually, she thought she saw a lump in the material, a thin rise in the leather. She stared, thinking it would disappear, but it didn't. Taking a scalpel from the desk, she gingerly made an incision, and peered inside the lump.
There was a piece of paper there. Her heart leapt, stopped once; and jumped into her throat. Slowly, almost reverently, she pulled it out and unfolded it. Her eyes saw the writing on the page, but she couldn't accept it. It was a letter, dated six years ago, two days before he had gone through the gate for the first time. When she had finished, she dropped the paper onto the floor, and dropped onto the bed, sobbing quietly.
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Saturday, 17th October, AY 1914
Dear Winry,
The fact that you are reading this means that I am no longer with you. I'm assuming that these would be the only circumstances under which you'd even consider reading my journal.
I don't know why I'm not with you. Maybe I'm dead, maybe I've been captured by my enemies. You know what trouble I get into. Soon, I'm going to go into what will possibly be the biggest battle of my life. I might die. And really, if I die protecting everyone, I think that'll be okay.
But I'm still afraid. I never used to be afraid of dying. I only feared dying before I could fulfil my promises. But tonight, I'm afraid to die. And I've thought for so long about why. You know me, I never was an eloquent person, never had a way with words. So I guess, I'm just going to tell you what I've figured out.
I thought about all the reasons I possibly could. But none of them were strong enough to make me this afraid. I'm actually shaking. Finally, I've figured it out. It's you, Winry. I'm afraid to die, because of you. I thought, "If I die, I'll never see her again." And it scares me.
I've never claimed to be the best when it comes to expressing feelings. But I finally know how to show mine. And though, when you read this, I am probably long gone, I can only say that, I love you.. I. Love. You. Winry Rockbell. No matter where I am, how far away, I love you.
I think I always have. And I know I always will. You had better not cry when you read this. I've caused you to cry so many times. And even if I'm dead, I don't want to be the cause of anymore tears. I only want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you. I never wanted you to worry about Al and I, I never wanted you to wait for us, for me.
I know I've been a terrible fool. And I see I should have told you before. But I'm telling you now. That has to count for something, right? Smile, be happy, live. That's all I ask of you. Don't waste your life for me. You have such a beautiful gift inside of you, Winry. You give people life, and hope. No matter what, never forget that you are a wonderful woman. Don't lose faith.
It's time to leave. Al is calling me. You know how he gets if I'm late. Take care of Grandma Pinako, and Den, and all the Military people. But most of all, take care of yourself, because I'm not there to do it physically. Just know that, wherever I am, Heaven or Hell, if such places even exist, I'm thinking of you. And I always will hold you in my heart.
I love you, Winry,
Yours Forever,
Edward
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Ed stepped wearily back into the house. The fire had burned low and he built it up again. Glancing at the mantelpiece, he spotted the envelope. Ripping it open, he read through the goodbye note, before angrily throwing it into the fire, along with the envelope. Throwing his coat over the chair, he undressed and moved to his room, laying curled up in a tight ball on his bed. Two hours later, when Al and Noa got home, they found him in the exact same position, fast asleep. Gently pulling the covers up over him, they padded off to their room.
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Al sat at his desk again, wearing only a pair of loose shorts. He had a pounding headache, and the words of the articles were blurring before his eyes. Noa lay on their bed behind him, watching owlishly as he sifted through the reports and sightings.
"Darling?" Noa's voice was drowsy, on the verge of sleep.
"Yes, dear?" Al replied absently, barely concentrating on her.
"I'm cold."
"That's good." His voice was still hollow sounding. As if he was a thousand miles away. A pillow hit him squarely on the back of the head. "Huh? What was that for?!"
"I said I was cold, and you said 'That's good.'" She mimicked him, a pout in her voice.
"Sorry, darling. I wasn't paying attention."
"You better be sorry. I'm still cold. What are you going to do about it?" He eyed her quizzically.
"You aren't getting carnal passions are you? It's quite late, and I'm tired."
"ALPHONSE ELRIC!" She burst out, an angry blush on her cheeks. "You are absolutely the most…annoying man I have ever met!"
"Excluding my brother, right?" He teased, getting up and walking over to the bed.
"Including Ed." He rolled his eyes and snuffed out the candle which stood at their bedside, before climbing in beside her.
"Maybe you should marry him." He teased, pulling her toward himself.
"He's too crazy for me." She smiled, kissing him soundly, and burrowing down between his arms, safe and warm.
"I love you, Noa."
"I love you, too Al. Go to sleep."
"Yes mom…" His reply was accompanied by a yawn, and he fell into a sound sleep. Noa sighed contentedly, and also fell into a peaceful sleep.
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High in the sky, lights shot across the inky blackness of the night. Colours mixing and intertwining, twisting and turning, seeming to compete for dominance. Until finally, they united and exploded into a giant, whirling mass of golden light. For several moments, the light swam around the peak of a nearby mountain, bathing the fortress at its peak in a brilliant luminescence. Then, just as suddenly as they appeared, the lights were gone.
To be continued…
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AN: To clarify two points in the fic. The Abbreviation (AY) used before the year in the letter stands for Amestris Year. Something I randomly made up. Please don't be too pissed at me!
And second. If you're wondering, what the hell the lights are all about, they're an allusion to the Northern Lights/Aurora Borealis. Though the lights in the story are NOT the Aurora as I could not find out whether they reach Germany or not. That's all.
Thanks for all your support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will continue to strive to keep the standards you guys expect. Thanks again for all your input!