Disclaimer: Nope don't own Sam, Dean and Caleb. Too bad though.

Happy Readings

Chapter 4

None of the boys were able to sleep that night. Sam stayed up half of the night wondering what to do with the new situation in which Dean, his big brother; one person who always trust his back with Sam and now having doubts in him. He spent the next half adding information they have found about the demon and the exorcism he used on it. Sam wasn't exactly sure the demon was gone for good so he added mentally into his do-list to check on the library for some more information on the ritual and the drawings they saw in the altar. Knowing their plate full of demons Sam didn't wanted to have any chances.

Sleep came no where to Dean until he forced himself to his medication not wanting to end up seeing Dr. Turner. After Sam took off his things Dean sat in his bed leaning onto the headboard staring at nothing. First he thought he would feel better now that Sam had gone but it wasn't. Dean felt empty…empty than he felt without his memories. It was more like lost. But this emptiness…somewhat felt familiar which made Dean shiver. It felt like half of him was torn when Sam soft voice muttered sorry and left. Dean almost regretted his decision. Sam had left John's journal behind and Dean picked it up. He opened the book slowly and ran a finger on the name of John Winchester.

"This is why. This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession. Everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off, you know, saving people, hunting things. The family business."

Dean remembered him saying it but where, why, when? That bothered him. Dean almost wanted to chuck the book at the wall frustrated and angry but he didn't. Taking a deep breathe and calming his nerves he started to go through it again; this time reading about vampires and werewolves with enthusiasm. He read John's entry about how their mom was murdered all over again and again trying to absorb every detail of what happened. He spent the night trying to process all the information he got to know about himself and wondered what their life style is like. Him officially dead? God how screw up he really is? How it is to be hunter? He thought about Mary, John and more than anything Sam. How their child hood had been and how close they are to each other? Dean remembered Sam's tone when he said he raised the younger boy and protected him. There was without doubt lots of affection and trust. Dean sighed heavily. His own feelings are complicating him. After all the musing, the only thing Dean achieved is a splitting headache.

…………………

Sam opened his eyes tiredly. He had fallen asleep on the table next to his beloved laptop still open. Yawning widely and rubbing his sore neck Sam checked the time. It was near to 8 in the morning. He picked up the phone, thinking twice but hit Dean's number in the speed dial anyway. It rang several minutes until it went to voice mail making Sam more frustrated. Is Dean still angry? Not that his brother and anger management skills are in best terms but Dean never usually stayed angry with him for this long…But then again his big brother never kicked him out of the room even less took his ever protective eyes off the youngest. But this isn't the old Dean. God how much Sam needed his big bro back on his usual cocky and over protective gear.

Trying to call Dean several times Sam gave up and left a voice message. He showered and dressed up quickly wanting to go to the library and cover up as much as he could on the research. Sam paused for a minute at Dean's motel room like he did the previous night. Wishing he had powers to look through the door and see how Dean's doing other than the visions he is having; Sam stared at the door. Sighing and unable to do anything else Sam took off to his safe sanctuary for the time being.

Dean sat up groggily on his bed rubbing his eyes. He stretched his legs and arms like a cat and winced as his still healing ribs hurt. Dean kicked the blanket and got up from the bed. He noticed the journal lay open on the bed where he had dropped it when he finally fell asleep. He picked it up and placed it in the nightstand. It was 10.38 a.m. Dean cursed lowly. Dean looked amused at the knife which he took under the pillow. Shaking his head at how restless he was without the knife last night, he placed it on the nightstand too. Even though the drugs were kicking hard Dean couldn't get why he felt something was wrong and couldn't sleep. His first thought was Sam and even after convincing himself that the younger boy was asleep somewhere Dean still felt restless. Then it hit him and it hit like a ton of bricks. He forgot his knife. After the knife took its usual place under the pillow Dean felt better but not that calm. God he is so damn weird he can't even sleep normal. But Dean had a good feeling that they weren't anywhere near normal. He stepped into the shower with a stomach howling for food. Dean pocketed his medication so he could take them after a decent breakfast and checked the phone. 6 miss calls and 1 voice massage… 'Hmm. Not bad' Dean checked the miss calls and found out that they were from Sam. Dean frowned. 'This kid isn't gonna let go' Then he checked the voice message.

"Hey Dean…Uh…I just wanted check out and see that you ok. Anyway I'm going to the library there are some stuff I wanna check out about that demon we handled last. Try to be back soon. Stay safe and take your pills."

'Ok what is that demon?' Dean growled in frustration and open his address book and scroll to find Sam but found Sammy instead. Dean felt a warm feeling run through his body at the name of Sammy. Nevertheless Dean dialed the number.

After three rings Sam picked up the phone.

"Hey Dean" It was soft but hopeful.

"Where are you?"

"Like I said. Library doing some research"

"You forgot something!"

"What?" Sam's voice sounded panicked.. " You ok? Is it headaches? Did you take your pills? I'm sure I didn't take them with me…I mean mistakenly…Dammit what did I forget?" Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's rambling.

"First of all dude chill. I got my damn pills. We need to talk. Remember me officially dead scenario and all the rest of shit you still didn't tell me. I'm not in a good mood and I better get to know about my frigging past quickly or your sorry ass gonna be damn sore for a long time whether I'm sick or not"

"Oh" Sam voice sounded small. "I'll come. The research can wait a bit"

"Good. I'll be at the diner we had dinner yesterday." With that Dean snapped the phone shut with anger boiling again at the knowledge his brother care about a damn research when he was only a day out of hospital and wanted to know about his past so badly. But a voice inside reminded him that it was him who asked Sam to leave and let him be alone. Dean pushed aside that feeling and strolled out of the room.

……………………..

Dean nibbled his second burger aimlessly waiting for Sam to come. He was hungry…scratch it he was ravenous. He was waiting for almost 15 minutes but it felt like eternity and patient had never been one of Dean's virtues. Finally when Sam showed up Dean glared at him.

" Sorry" Sam muttered and sat down next to Dean.

" Why were you late?"

Sam shrugged. "Traffic" He leaned on to the chair and stretched out his legs.

Dean sipped his coffee and kept a steady gaze on Sam. " I take you had your breakfast?" Sam nodded. " Your medication?" " I did" Sam nodded again. 'Shit this is so damn awkward' Dean thought bitterly.

"Ready for some explanation?"

Sam nodded and rubbed his eyes. Dean noticed the waistband on Sam's right hand. He looked at curiously having a feeling that there's something significant about it.

"what?" Sam asked Dean who was staring at his hand.

" That waistband" Dean pointed out.

" Oh" Sam smiled fondly at the memory behind the waistband.

……………………………………………………………………..

" Happy Birthday Sammy" Dean grinned widely poking at a sixteen years old sleepy Sam.

"Get away" Sam slurred. But Dean didn't give up.

"Rise and shine sleepyhead. It's your birthday" Dean grabbed the blanket away from his kid brother. He then grabbed Sam's legs and successfully dragged the younger boy out of the bed.

"damn you" Sam cursed as his butt landed hard on the floor.

"Good morning to you too" Dean said happily half pulling and half dragging Sam from the floor. " You know the drill don't you Sammy boy or do I need to remind you…wait maybe I need to. First we brush…"

" Shut up jerk" Sam howled as he dragged himself to the bathroom. " And it's Sam…Deanie" the door was slammed.

"Cute…that's all you can come up birthday boy?" Dean laughed. Sam cursed again and the shower was on.

After Sam changed himself into clean clothes he noticed a larger box on his bed. Sam's face broke into a huge smile knowing who had gotten it for him. He opened up the box and inside there were some more boxes. An unwrapped box which was definitely from his dad carried a knife with handsome workmanship. "Handy" youngest Winchester muttered. Then there was a small box tied with a book and a brown paper bag. Sam reached for the paper bag and emptied the contain. It had some porn magazines at which he snorted. Sam untied the box and the book and found out it was a journal. A note slipped out of it and Sam read it out. "Yo bitch now you can write your own supernatural stuff…Happy Birthday Geek" Sam laughed and tucked the note inside. Then he opened the box. Inside was a simple brown color waistband but to Sam the waistband and the journal worth a world. He immediately put it on and headed to the kitchen gazing at it by turning his arm around.

"Dude you'll snap your arm" Dean said amused as he watched his little brother admiring the waistband. "It's nothing to get your eyes glued in"

"My arm won't snap…and It worth me a lot" Sam said looking up at Dean who filled his plate with pancakes.

"Sixteen but still girly" Dean said shaking his head but it was clear ,he was happy that Sam liked his present.

"Well more than that porn shit…What were you thinking Dean?" Sam asked munching a pancake.

"Blame Caleb if you want…but that was not a bad idea after all." Dean wolfed down his own pancakes.

"Sure Caleb didn't mix our birthdays?" Sam asked,

"Nah…' Dean thought for a while. "Not that I complain but it'll probably be…"

"Oh no I don't wanna know" Sam screwed up his face in disgust. Dean smacked him lightly.

"Grow up baby brother"

"Anyway thanks for the presents."

"That waistband is for protection like my pendant."

"Like I need a one when you are most of the time on the over protective big brother gear"

"Hey someone gotta keep your sorry ass out of trouble. You are a trouble magnet"

"Like you are a chick magnet?"

"Damn straight Sammy"

"It's Sam…say it after me… Sam" Sam said in a dramatically voice.

"You'll always be my Sammy so stop being the drama queen bitch and eat those pancakes up before it end up in me"

"Jerk" Sam sighed and groaned frustrated at the realization that he'll gonna never see the end of being Dean's Sammy.

…………………………………………………………

Sammy one word that used to annoy him and also made him felt so much loved was now lost. Dean hardly called him Sammy and Sam admitted shamelessly that he missed Dean calling him that name and how much he seemed to crave into it unknowingly.

Dean snapped two fingers in front of Sam; snapping the younger boy out of his memory.

" Head full Geek boy?" Sam looked at him funny.

" What did you call me?"

"Geek boy. Who on earth end up in a library doing research in the morning?"

"Yeah that would be me" Sam said flatly.

" You were pretty zone out man…what was it?" Dean asked impatiently.

"About the waistband…You gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday. Also a journal" Sam swallowed. "well the journal was burnt along with the apartment at Stanford.

Dean watched Sam's eyes filled with pain at the word Stanford. He was going to ask him what happened at Stanford when he was rudely interrupted.

" Dean Winchester?" Dean almost jumped out his chair at the enthusiastic gruff voice that greeted him. A man in his mid forties appeared at there table. He was wearing a black lather jacket and was around 6 feet 5 inches tall. He had an unshaven beard growing in his face making him look rougher than he sounded. His brown eyes somehow gave Dean shivers. Dean looked at Sam for some help but Sam looked as clueless as he was.

" Dean? Can't you remember me?" The man asked.

"Excuse me…But who are you?" Sam asked body tensed; scanning the older man for any sort of threat. The man looked at Sam and extended his hand

"I'm James Austin. You must be Sam" Sam didn't shake hands but nodded having his hunter alerts on. James didn't look offended he turned his gaze to Dean.

"Mind I join you two?" Sam opened his mouth to say that they don't need him around but Dean cut him off. "Yeah sure" Sam scowled at both of them crossing his arms on the chest. Usually Sam tended to trust people and gave them chances and Dean always shoot first then ask questions type of a guy. But Sam can't take any risks now and make wrong moves. He had both their lives in his hand. James looked at Sam with curious brown eyes.

"I know for people like us trusting don't come that easy" James said dryly. Sam narrowed his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked sharply.

" You know what I meant…I'm a hunter like you"

"But I don't know you"

"Of course you don't . You were at Stanford. I met John in a poltergeist hunt and then you. I'm surprised that you can't remember me Dean" James turned to Dean

"had a nasty hit on the head…so bit confused" Dean supplied.

"You boys met John?"
"Yes about month ago. But he's missing again" Sam said still eyeing James with doubt.

" I'm also looking for him. I have gotten some information about the 11-2-83 incident"

Dean watched his little brothers eye brows raised in surprise.

" You kidding?" Sam muttered softly.

" No…It seem to be there are more cases like that." James said his voice low.

" What is 11-2-83 incident?" Dean asked Sam but Sam's attention was on James.

" I tried to reach John every possible way I could think. It's pure luck or I might say coincidence that we ran into each other. At least I can pass out information onto you"

" We don't trust you"

" Dammit Sam …this is about 11-2-83. It's enough reason to trust me and I know what happen to your girlfriend." Sam paled at the words.

" What's 11-2-83?" Dean demanded impatiently thumping his fist on the table , trying to get both men's attention.

"It's the day your mom was murdered. Sure you can't forget that Dean" James said in surprise.

" Dean we are going" Sam got up and so did James.

"Good we need to talk some where we drew less attention."

"No…you are leaving us alone, Dean come on" Not without letting Dean come up with a single word Sam went outside. Dean looked at James who looked disappointed.

Dean got up angrily. He is so lost without his past memories that he can't even know his friends or foes anymore.

"Your dad, me and you; we used to hunt together when Sam was at college. I tried to contract John…were you able to?" Dean shook his head and winced. 'Great headache back'

"Listen Dean…I really have no idea what's going on but 11-2-83 is too damn important for you to kick off and go. This is what you spent your whole life looking for and Sam…you know he doesn't have the same passion on hunting like we do. He wanted a normal life. He hates hunting Dean. I can give you some clues but it better be some where else. Can you talk to Sam about it" Dean nodded and walked to the car park James behind him. Dean didn't trust James but he was desperate to reach dad and he knew finding what killed Mary was more important than any thing. He was willing to take a risk.

"Sam" Dean reached Sam who was leaning on the Impala arms crossed over the chest.

"No…Dean. We can't trust him. We don't know him"

"I used to"

"Dammit Dean. You have amnesia for crying out aloud. You can't remember whether you know him or not" Sam hissed angrily.

" I know that Sam. You don't have to remind me" Dean snapped.

"Well I do. Last time we called dad thinking we finally got our hands on the bastard that killed mom, it was a trap for dad. We were used as baits to get him and we all nearly died. We can't take risks" Sam hissed at Dean and glared at James.

" Look Sam" James hissed equally angry grabbing Sam's arm. Sam flinched as he felt a wave current passed through him. "My sister died the same way too. I became hunter for her. We need to take revenge and we need to do it together." He demanded not letting go of Sam's hand. Sam vaguely heard what James was saying. His head was throbbing like hell and Sam knew what next comes for him in the line. Sam heard Dean snapping at James to let go. He cried out in pain and cradled his head in his free hand. He felt James letting him go and for a second Sam regretted it as his knees buckled and he dropped to the ground on his knees rubbing his forehead. Sam felt the familiar touch of Dean's hands on his shoulder when he was pulled into the vision.

Sam raised his head. He was tied to a chair. His whole body sore and he was shivering. Sam tiredly looked at his surroundings. It was a dark cold room. More like a store room with boxes every where. Sam searched for Dean but there was no sign of him. But there was someone with him inside the room. "Who's there?" Sam rasped out. Footsteps… He heard footsteps behind him and they were coming towards him. Cold fingers touched his cheeks and Sam jerked away from the touch. The person behind him grabbed his hair and pulled his head back. Sam tried to get a good look at the person but failed miserably. The cold fingers traced his face and touched his cheeks almost as he was caressed. Sam shivered. He felt soft breathe on is neck. Sam squeezed his eyes shut and held his breathe terrified. " My scarifies lamb. You may have ruined it before…but now that I got, I cannot simply ask for a better one. Don't worry about Dean…I have surprise for him too. He'll love it" inhuman voice hissed into his ears running a cold shiver through his spine…

…………………………………

Dean watched James grabbing Sam's hand and all his protective instincts kicked in.

"Hey let go" He grabbed James shoulder. James shoved him away really hard Dean almost fell. "My sister died the same way too. I became hunter for her. We need to take revenge and we need to do it together." James spat angrily. Dean's whole attention was on Sam who looked in lot of pain. "Hands off my brother James" Dean growled angrily and Sam cried out in pain and cradled his head with his free arm. James immediately let go. As soon as James release, Sam's knees were buckled and he dropped to the ground. Dean got extremely worried. He was immediately knelt down in front of Sam who was rubbing his forehead. His face was screwed up with pain and Sam's eyes were glazed with pain. Dean placed his hands on Sam's shoulder hoping to offer some sort of comfort " Hey Sam…come on talk to me kiddo". He was worried shitless. 'What's wrong with you kid?'

Sam fell forward and Dean steadied his brother. "Sam…hey" Sam's answer was a soft moan and his head rested on Dean's shoulder ,eyes half closed facing his brother.

"What's wrong with him?" James asked but Dean didn't know.

" I don't know' Dean said feeling scared and worried about his little brother.

" Sam…Sammy" Dean whispered into Sam's hair holding the younger boy as he was shivering. Dean's own heart was beating faster and he tried to calm himself. Dean felt utterly helpless. He wanted to scream and kick some one so badly and let all the anger, fear and anguish out. Dean did only thing he could do for the time being held Sam closer to him even though they created a scene in the parking lot.

" Think we should take him to a hospital?" James asked.

" I don't know dammit" Dean snapped. His attention was back on Sam as he heard him moaning.

" Sam? You with me?" Sam eyelids fluttered open but they were unfocused and still glazed with pain.

"Dean…" Sam slurred still shivering and trying to focus on his big brother…his safe harbor after the visions. Sam's breathe hitched and his head was throbbing as if his head was smacked on a stone wall couple of times.

" I'm here Sammy" Dean whispered slowly brushing away some hair out of Sam's eyes.

"Hurts…." Sam mumbled. He felt dizzy and the whole place was spinning crazily.

" I know…I know" Dean said trying to ease Sam up. Sam tugged Dean's jacket tightly and held on to it.

" Dean…help" Sam mumbled again.

"How?" Dean asked desperately but Sam never got the chance to answer. His eyes rolled back and Sam went limp on Dean's arms.

TBC.

Ok…First of all thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed and put my story on alert you guys are the BEST. I won't be able to update for a while cuz my mid term exams are coming. So I won't be able to update soon. ( Hope you won't mind a bit late update) Thanks for reading and hope you will drop a review.