Hi. Sorry for the wait - all my stories will be delayed, since i have been banned from the internet at home (suckkkfest). Mothers. Grrr. But anyway, thanks goes to the reviewers, and those who have stuck with the stories. You all rock. The next chapter may be the last, though. Depends how long it is; we shall see! xxxx

FIVE: GOODBYE

"It shouldn't have happened."

I pretended I couldn't hear him. I slid down the wall I had been leaning against, so that I was sitting on the floor. I closed my eyes.

I always knew that, after the kiss, he would try and find some way to deny to himself that it happened, and regret it. He loved Victoria, and I knew that. I just didn't want to hear the words coming from his mouth, that me and him were a mistake. I blocked out his words, trying to find a little haze in my head where I could think about the most amazing few minutes of my life, where he looked at me like he wanted me, and kissed me like he wanted me. I tried not to think of the consequences now, of those few minutes.

But, no matter how hard I tried not to hear, his perfect voice caught my attention, and I was forced to listen to the words.

"I'm sorry Bree, but I can't be with you."

I nodded slowly, afraid to open my eyes, afraid of his expression. I tried to guess what it would be. Pity? Disgust? Remorse? I was better off not knowing. I didn't get hurt quite as much this way.

"It's OK," I said, quietly. "I'm sorry too." I waited from him to leave. But he didn't. I could feel him watching me, for an immeasurable amount of time. And I marvelled at how safe and whole I felt, with just his eyes on me. All I could see was the darkness, with my eyes closed, but his gaze made me feel unafraid. So I knew it immediately when he left, because I felt empty and alone, his comforting presence gone.

I opened my eyes. The room was empty. I let the breath I didn't realise I had been holding out of my lungs. So that was it. For just that one kiss, I had lost Riley completely. He would be sure to stay away from me now. He was probably feeling guilty right now, for cheating on Victoria. But was it even cheating? It was just a kiss, and he didn't even care about me that way anyway. I had thrown myself at him. He was a guy. Why resist the girl when she so clearly wanted him?

I was unprepared for the pain that slammed into me. I curled up into a ball, wincing at the pain of rejection and unrequited love as they took me over, slowly breaking me into pieces. How would I be able to fight tomorrow, with this crushing pain killing me?

But I couldn't bring myself to regret it. My one kiss with Riley was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Why would I regret something so blissful?

But I had no clue it would hurt this much. It was too much to deal with; almost unbearable.

I picked myself up off the floor, not without effort. I couldn't be found here like this. It would only lead to questions, and my mind wasn't fit for fabricating lies. I escaped the house, running far away from it. Only then did I start to feed. I think I may have broken my own record. I lost count of the amount of innocent people I slaughtered.

I glanced up at the sky, and noticed it was beginning to brighten. I finally made my way back… home? I could hardly call it that. My prison, maybe? I didn't have a home. I didn't have anything, anything at all.

With a shock, I found Riley waiting outside for me. All the other vampires must have gone in already. I felt a rush of love towards him, which was immediately doused with pain. His expression cleared when he laid eyes on me, but only slightly. Maybe he thought I wasn't going to come back. I wouldn't have, if I had anywhere else to go.

"What the hell were you playing at?" he snapped at me. "It's almost morning, I was getting worried." He was angry with me, that much was obvious. I was hurt by his attitude towards me. He must be feeling guilty, and blaming me for it, because I was the one who kissed him first. I felt myself becoming defensive, and extremely bitter.

"Oh, whatever, Riley," I snapped back. "Why did you even bother worrying? It's not like you actually care, anyway." I tried to push past him, but he blocked me, his eyes furious.

"That's not true!" he roared at me. I took a step away from him, taken aback by his fury. I glared at him, upset, and he glared back fiercely. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Time seemed to slow down for a minute or two, and we simply stared at each other.

"What's going on here?"

I jumped at the horribly familiar voice. He started too, and turned around to face Victoria, who had just exited the house.

"I was just giving out to Bree for getting back so late. It's almost morning. She could have been seen."

Victoria shot me a disapproving look, and I glared at the back of Riley's head. Was he trying to get me killed now? Maybe if that happened, he wouldn't have to worry about me anymore, I thought spitefully.

"You should be more careful, Bree," she said, and I nodded, not meeting her eyes. "Although…" her voice trailed off, and I looked up at her curiously. It was the first time she had spoken to me without a trace of disgust in her tone. "You did the right thing when you decided to start feeding properly." I nodded again. She appeared to dismiss me, so I headed into the house, struggling with myself not to sneak a glance at Riley.

I could hear them talking about tomorrow, so I slowed down a little to listen. Victoria was telling Riley about how they were going to leave the army to deal with the coven and go after Bella themselves. I felt a little scared. I still didn't know how to fight, and if Riley was somewhere else then I didn't know of anyone else who might save me.

The day of the fight dawned. There was an air of excitement exuding from the other vampires, who had looked forward to this; the monotony of this life could be wearing. I was consumed with nerves. There was so much I was worried about, so much I still wanted to do, and I had no time left to do it in.

I had accepted I mightn't live to see tomorrow. It was a probability rather than a possibility. I wasn't a fighter. I was weak, and I would be one of the first to die. I had accepted it.

And I didn't want my life to end while I was on bad terms with Riley. He was the only good thing in my life at the moment, even if he didn't know it. If it weren't for him, I would have crumbled to nothing a long time ago. I had to apologise to him. But it was so hard to find the right time.

He was permanently attached to Victoria's side, it seemed. He didn't even look at me. As the army travelled towards Forks, under the cover of darkness, I stayed near the end of the crowd, while he remained up ahead with her. I didn't feel brave enough to creep closer to him.

But thankfully, a chance presented itself at the very last moment.

Sara and another vampire were drawn into a disagreement, and had begun to fight each other. Victoria swept to break them up, furious, and then Riley was alone, gazing after her, and I knew I only had seconds.

So quickly I almost disappeared, I ran over to Riley's side and leant to whisper in his ear. I heard his breath catch as he registered me so close to him, from out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, so quietly not even the other vampires had a hope of hearing. "I love you, Riley." I didn't want to wait to see his reaction, but I felt better now he knew. I could feel his eyes on my back as I rushed back to my position in the crowd, and I hid from his gaze behind a rather large fellow vampire. I felt slightly childish, but the last thing I wanted to see was his pity and rejection, because he didn't feel the same.

Victoria led us into a forest, and we caught hold of Bella's scent. The trail was strong, leading right into the depths of the woods. She told us to follow it, and we would find the coven at some point too. We'd know it was them because of their strange yellow eyes. Whoever got to Bella first could have her, she said. I watched her lie so blatantly to the eager newborns, who had no idea that neither Victoria nor Riley were going to help, like they thought they would. And Bella wouldn't even be there. I was convinced she was walking us straight to our deaths.

I still couldn't look at Riley as I followed the crowd into the forest. Maybe everything had been enough. He knew I loved him, and he had kissed me… such things I never imagined would happen, now precious memories.

The vampire Sara had been fighting with started calling dibs on Bella, which annoyed most of the crowd. I could tell another fight was imminent, and my heart sank. There wouldn't be enough of us for the coven to kill if we all kept fighting like this. I barely listened as he began taunting Sara again, lost in memories of Riley.

Sara started to fight with the other vampire again, and the whole crowd stopped to watch. My terrified eyes were transfixed by their brutality - had they been injuring humans in this way too? We really were monsters.

But then, suddenly, Riley was there.

He grabbed me and pulled me behind a tree, looking around frantically for anyone who noticed. They were all distracted by the fight. I gazed at him, breathing heavily, once we were out of anyone's sight. He looked stressed, yet determined.

"Bree," he began, and began to speak so quickly and quietly I had to concentrate to catch every word. "I need you to keep yourself safe and alive. It's my fault you're here and I will not be the reason for your death. Surrender. If they ask you questions, lie! Lie about how much you know, play innocent, play dumb - anything! Save your life, Bree. Promise me."

"Riley, I…" I trailed off, unsure what to say, my mind racing.

"Promise me, Bree!" Riley said, agitated.

"I promise," I said. "But only if you do the same."

He half-smiled at me, his eyes losing some of their worry and stress, to be replaced with warmth. We gazed at each other, both knowing, instinctively, that this might be the last time we would speak with each other. I prayed that this wouldn't be true, but the odds were stacked against us. I savoured every second. We just stood there, memorising each other's faces.

He seemed to hesitate for a minute, and then his lips crushed mine. My mind swirled. He kissed me for the shortest second, before pulling away and staring into my eyes. They were hungry, once again, in a way that made me stop breathing.

"Bye, Bree," he said, and then he was gone.

I forced myself to walk back to the army, trying not to fall to pieces.

I didn't know the outcome of the fight between Sara and that other vampire. I walked with the crowd in a daze, torn between my instinct to run away, and the dead, hopeless part of me which wanted a painful death; anything to distract me from my last conversation with Riley.

There was still so much I wanted to say to him, to ask him. There was still so much I didn't know. Did he love me too? Or did he feel guilty, and he just wanted to make sure I didn't die unhappy? I didn't know what to think. But he had to care. That was the one thing I was absolutely certain of, and nothing could make me doubt it. He did care about me. And I was desperate to know how much.

But now I'd never know. I'd probably never see him again.

The pain of this thought stabbed me viciously. It was an almost incomprehensible thought, because I lived because of Riley. He was the one who made me, the reason I was here, but I no longer felt anger towards him for that. I lived because of him, and I felt grateful. Riley was the one part of this whole experience I couldn't bring myself to regret.

"Hold up!" one of the vampires boomed suddenly, and everyone hesitated. I realised why a second later. The scent of other vampires was strong. There was no way it was human; it had to be the coven. My nerves made a grand reappearance, and I was wrenched from my thoughts of Riley, and thrust back into reality. I remembered what I had to do. I had to keep my promise to Riley. I had to stay alive.

The others deliberated, and I offered no help. My intuition flickered to life, and I had a bad feeling that this could be a trap. I knew Bella was elsewhere, because otherwise Victoria would be here too. So what trail did we follow? What trail did I follow?

The group eventually decided to split up. I joined the group that was to follow the foreign vampires' scent. I couldn't shake off the horrible feeling that Bella's trail was nothing but a trap. So we separated, and I shook with nerves as we proceeded deeper into the forest.