Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Naruto… then everyone would love it, and I'd be rich….. But, sadly I'm not.
Chapter Summary: Sasuke gets out. OH MAH GOSH!! Naruto wants to kill himself now. Kiba is being a really big. . . . Ummm. Let's get to the story. :D
Summary: Sasuke cheats on Naruto. This causes Naruto to kick him out. He moves out of his apartment. Now he has no place to live…… but can Kiba help with this problem??
Genre: Drama, Comedy, Romance.
Rated: M for violence, language, yaoi, shonen-ai, stuff, graphic sex
Warnings: You have been warned. If you hate Sasuke, you are so welcome to read this!! If you love Ino, click that back button on your browser!! Kiba/Naruto in this again, yaoi, male pregnancies, violence, language, stereotyping (I am so sorry if I offend someone!!)
Pairings: Kiba/Naruto, Sasuke/Naruto, Sasuke/Ino, Gaara/Sakura
Key:
"talking"
thinking
'flashback'
(authors note)
-actions- (in the intermission)
New Title, setting, or Intermission
Hi, It's me. I know I haven't updated for a heck of a long time, but I'd like to try.. I think my inner pervert is rusty and old.. and smelly. I need a new one.. –goes to WalMart-
xxx
DAMN YOU KIBA AND YOUR SEXYNESS!! DAMN YOU!!
Naruto stood up from the spot on the bed. Kiba looked up at him questionably.
"I don't wanna be horny now!" Naruto said running around.
"You brought this on yourself when you came in here with your face and your body!!" Kiba said chasing him.
Haha, Said who?
Said your face.
Naruto soon slowed down.. Tired.. Hungry.. Nauseous.. "I don't feel so good."
"Well, you should stop running around and let me touch you!" Naruto ran to the bathroom as Kiba watched in bewilderment.
Naruto bent down over the toilet and heaved. A lotta shit came out of his mouth..
Hmm, cereal, a burger, some corn.. Mmm, corn..
Naruto was scared. Was he dying? Was his body making him bulimic? Anorexic? Preg—No. None of those…
He was sure of it! Yeah, probably something he ate! That ice cream he had earlier must be the problem—
Naruto vomited again..
Ok, it was Kiba's fault!
"Kiba, you made me sick!" Naruto waved frantically.
And the winner is..?
Sasuke sat on his icky hospital bed waiting for his beloved Naruto to come in.
HEY, SASUKE! NARUTO DOESN'T LIKE YOU. GTFO HIS KOOL-AID, OK?
'When I get home I'm gonna fuck him senseless. Then, no more ramen for him! Yes, good plan, Sasuke-Jesus!'
Bitch, you're not Jesus! Jesus lived in ancient times… Do you look ancient?
No. But, you sure are ugly!
So just… drown in your urine, PLEASE!
Can someone shoot him in the face for me??
Never mind, I can do that!
The door opened, Sasuke's vulgar face looked up in anticipation only for his hope to be crushed when it was the Doctor man! The doctor made everything better.
"Mr. Uchiha, you're free to go.. But do be careful. Your ride is waiting outside. Please hurry" Haha, not even the doctor wanted him in the hospital.. he stunk up the place with his rotting ego.
'Thank goodness you're leaving, you bratty bastard! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!' His thoughts were interrupted by Sasuke's scratchy voice.
"Hey, old man!" Sasuke said the same thing louder a third time.
"Yes?"
"Next time, this happens. Don't be a nuisance."
A look of anger mixed with murderous intent emitted from the doctor.
Sasuke ran…
Because he's a bitch..
He ran into.. The one supposedly picking him up…
Sometimes she wished she picked Kiba…
Kiba was rich…
Kiba was handsome…
Kiba was nice…
Ino had come to a conclusion to break it off with Sasuke and take Kiba out for a spin…
To hell if she didn't like it… It's going to be a one night stand anyways..
Oh, if only Ino knew…
xxx
INTERMISSION
Greggy: I hope you are all happy.!
Elmyra: . . . You need medication..
Greggy: All I have is my glaucoma.. That's it!
Elmyra: No, you must overdose on Advil..
Greggy: Silly goth child, you cannot overdose on Advil--
Elmyra: -stuffs 14 bottles of Advil in Greggy's mouth-
Greggy: -passes out-
Bezeerc: OH MY GOD! MURDERER!
Elmyra: -shoots dart in Bezeerc's neck-
Bezeerc: … Ow! –falls over into a deep sleep- -snore-
END INTERMISSION
"Kiba, I really don't feel good." Naruto was sick… But, what exactly was wrong with him?
"Come on, we're going to the hospital!" Kiba picked Naruto up, and took him to the car.
"I need my special hat!!" Kiba ignored his request.
The drive was quiet all the way to the hospital, Kiba could have sworn he saw Sasuke in the parking lot.
xxx
Fastforward 2 Hours
"Yep, you're a prego." The Almighty Tsunade chirped.
"NO!!" Naruto and Kiba said in unison.
"Yes…" She shows them the test results and everything..
'Oh fuck.' Kiba thought to himself.
XXX
END
I apologize, this chapter was so short! I hope you at least found this amusing.
NEXT CHAPTER: Sasuke doesn't find out, but Ino does. When will Ino notice that Sasuke is only using her for sexing? That's not cool… SASUKE, YOU FAIL AT LIFE.
Short:
Greggy: -still knocked out-
Elmyra: Please review… or I'll spike your edibles with cyanide. –creepy smile-
Sierra: And if you do. You get a chapter dedicated to yourself? : Maybe.