(And now a brief interlude before the next chapter of this story. I don't know why Nuwanda wants a new chapter, but I shall write one anyway. And it will be dirtier. MUCH dirtier. But now an interlude in the proceedings.)
(Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. I just wrote it. Using it to fuel your own creative devices or career is not stealing, but I would appreciate having a look at it when you've finished mangling it.)
In a solitary cave on a cold little planet orbiting a dying star, a group of hooded figures assembled, as many cults often do, and turned towards their leader to hear him read from the Great Book. The leader raised a hand to silence the imaginary hoards of people crying to hear the words of wisdom he was about to speak.
"I will now read from Book One of the Great Book. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter One, Verses One and Two."
And so spake the Reader of the Great Book.
H2G2.1.1 Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
H2G2.1.2 Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
The Reader closed the book and spoke unto his fellow cult members and the crowd inside his head. "So spoke the Great DNA in His Trilogy. Remember the words as you write, and treat them all with the utmost respect. When you spread the name DNA remember His truths and do not disobey them, unless it is for a laugh. Go and write in peace. Don't Panic."
The cult broke off to their separate corners of the cave as their planet's orbit continued to decay. As they typed their horrid fanfiction to spread the word throughout the galaxy, I had to think "Boy, I'd rather be there than doing this mailing."