Oookay…

Alright, let's just get to it!

Chapter 11

As dawn broke through the dark clouds that hung over the island, the figure of an old man could bee seen tossing and turning in his bed. He seemed to be enjoying himself, as the occasional perverse cackle would suggest.

In his dream, he and all his friends were seated at a table, laughing and enjoying themselves, a scene he recognized as being their last holiday gathering, with the exception of a few new faces. 'Oh well,' he thought to himself. 'Just a minor detail, I guess.' His eyes continued to wander behind his dark glasses until they finally came to rest on the one occupying the space two seats over. Bulma seemed to be listening intently to something that Yamcha was saying, because she clearly didn't notice the fact that the skirt of her red and green Christmas dress was riding dangerously high.

Roshi grinned. This was the perfect opportunity to cash in on some Christmas cheer, as he'd done in every dream he'd had about this day in the past; he'd just subtley reach over and give her rump a good squeeze. Then she'd simply ignore it and move on, simply counting it as the old man's Christmas and birthday gift combined, and Roshi'd have fuel for his dreams for yet another year.

He whistled as he stretched, preparing to score himself a mound of flesh… when he finally realized who it was that was in the seat next to him. Roshi's eyes went wide and his arm flew back to his side as Vegeta turned to him. "What are you looking at, old fool?" he asked. Roshi managed to let out a weak laugh and looked away as Vegeta snorted and did the same.

Roshi's heart sank. This was horrible! How was he supposed to score now?! There was no way Vegeta would ever let him get away with it, attachment to Bulma or not! He was doomed…

Wait… no he wasn't! He knew that Bulma might get slightly irritated when he did that, but she CERTAINLY wouldn't allow Vegeta to kill him for it! …Would she? 'Oh well, it's only a dream,' the old man thought to himself. Without thinking twice, he thrust out his hand and latched onto his target. Roshi was in heaven. It felt so soft, yet so firm…

In fact… it felt a little too firm. Like it was more than toned… almost muscular. Roshi looked up in shock only to find that every person at the table was staring at him with eyes as wide as satellite dishes and pale faces. Roshi felt himself go pale and turned to look for himself…

And found his hand was firmly attached to Vegeta's butt.

Roshi was trembling now, his eyes twice as wide as anyone else's, but for the life of him, he just couldn't seem to let go. He panicked, knowing that at any second, Vegeta would turn and see this before brutally killing him in some unknown alien way that was probably too horrible to describe.

Vegeta, to the contrary, seemed to be enjoying the experience, which only served to further disturb the old man, who was attempting to saw his hand off with a butter knife. A small, arrogant smirk had settled onto the Saiyan's lips. "Well woman," he said, glancing over at Bulma, "Had you told me you wanted me so badly, I would've come prepared." He noticed everyone staring at him from across the table and growled. "What? What are you idiots looking at?!" He folded his arms in front of him. "If it bothers you so much, then you can leave." He felt a poke at his shoulder and whirled to face Bulma. "What is it now, woman?" Bulma pulled a nervous –and slightly disturbed- grin and showed Vegeta her hands. Both of her free, non-groping hands.

Roshi saw Vegeta's face go pale and eye begin twitching. Said prince turned to look at Roshi, who was now furiously gnawing on his own arm. Roshi felt a pair of eyes burrowing into his skull and looked up into the now-furious eyes of Vegeta, nostrils flaring, teeth grinding and a low growl emanating from his throat. Roshi let out a nervous chuckle and slowly removed his teeth from his own arm.

Vegeta was almost furious beyond words. "What. In GOD'S NAME. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" the prince screamed, flinging the old man out of his chair, his hand finally detaching from it's former position.

Roshi rolled on the floor and stood, trying desperately to explain himself. "N-no! I'm sorry, it was a mistake, I was aiming for B-uh, someone else! Yeah…"

Vegeta raised a hand and fired…

A loud boom resounded and Roshi fell to the floor, struggling to escape the entanglements of… his sheets? He sat up and scratched his head in confusion. "Huh, must've been a dream." He climbed up off the floor and looked out his window. "Looks like a storm blew in, too. Seem to be getting' a few of those lately. Ah well." He grabbed the tray on his nightstand before heading down the stairs. "That's the last time I eat this stuff before bed. And they say tofu's supposed to be good for you…"

Well, there it is. (If you happen to notice this bears an exact resemblance to OGR'S Next chapter, that's cuz this part was good enough to make it in two places! Hope you enjoyed.