Title: Sora's Song
Chapter: 4
Author: Sacrifices-4-Luv
Yamato stared at me, his clear blue eyes so full of sincerity as he informer he of the disturbing news. "So, let me get this straight, Yama..." I said, pushing back a strand of my hair behind my ear, kicking my feet up on his dark cherry coffee table. I had been at his house for only a few minutes, but I was liking what I saw. His house had a classic feel, much smaller than Mimi's though- only one story. The walls of his house were a cream color, adding some warmth to the rooms. The living room was practically a dedication to music- with old pictures and remnants of music, from rock to rap and oldies, even classical. Yamato was a music nut, which showed in everything that he did.
It was about an hour drive from Mimi's house to Yamato's house. We stopped at a gas station before we set out on a journey to get drinks though. Yamato was still just as a gentleman as he was years ago. I could remember spending time in his room and playing guitars, listening to music. Before I moved with Hiro, I had aspired to become a singer. However, I suppose my dreams shattered away as well as any motivation. Hiro had poisoned everything that I had ever wanted to be close to. Even subconsciously. "Are you saying that my ex... Hiro... is your... lead guitarist?"
Yamato was standing above me, trying to observe my reaction. I could not help but observe him either. Times had changed very much- as he and I did. Yamato had changed physically for sure. He was taller, more built. He had a seductive way about him that was rather striking. I had to admit that being so close to him did boil ideas in my head- some that were not too G rated. Despite his major physical change, he was still the same guy.
Yamato was always thinking- even as a young one. Being with him in his house as he daydreamed brought back memories of being in second grade- he was in trouble all the time for dazing off. My many talents as a friend to him was getting him out of his dream state. I kicked Yama and chuckled as he let out a small sound of agony and sat down on the other side of the couch. "See, Sora. It is more complicated than that. There is more to why he is with my band. We met him on tour about two months ago when we went to New York and he has helped my band develop in many ways."
I contemplated everything as he was talking. I could remember about three months ago- not two- when Hiro had played a gig in New York. He informed me of a band that he thought would go big one day. Hiro said that the lead singer remembered the true meaning of music and was not trying to play and get famous to have his name on billboards or have the money and good fortunes rolling in. He was passionate about what he did and he was not going to let anyone stop him from his dreams. Hiro also mentioned that the lead singer was just a kid, about my age. He never mentioned his name though. If only I had known who he was talking about... "You know, that is funny that you mention it now. Hiro told me about your band, about three months ago when he played at Rockwood Music Hall. He never mentioned your name, but I never asked. He told me that you, in paticular, were fascinating. You seemed to have the old spirit that he had seem fall away from most aspiring musicians."
Yamato cleared his throat, examining my words in his head. I could tell that Yamato truly volued Hiro's opinion. Yamato wanted to smile so much- I could tell from the creases of his lips- but he was concerned for how I felt about the matter. Yama was too predictable. For as long as I could remember, Yama had always been considerate of others feelings, which was why when we were on our Digimon expiditions, he would consider others' feelings before his own- even if he did seem careless. "Wow..." Yamato muttered to himself, still in his dream state. He cleared his throat once again and finally mustered up the courage to make eye contact. "Yamato called me about two weeks before you arrived. He wanted to make a deal with us- said that he loved our sound and the vibes that he was getting with us, but he knew a way to make it even better."
I mentally ventured off two weeks prior to my voluntary move. I remembered when he told me that he had heard from the newer band that he played with a while back. He never told me about what he discussed with them. Instead, he changed the topic. He said that he wanted to try out someplace else- said it would be nice to get away from everything for a little bit. When he told me that I thought that he meant a romantic vacation for the two of us. I did not know that he meant that he wanted to take a vacation by himself. Thinking back, he had warned me about him leaving. I believe that my naivety had gotten in the way of the truth. It was one of those moments where truth was redefined as what I chose to believe. "That's it..." I thought aloud.
Yamato looked at me, a worried expression sealed on his face. He seemed as occupied as I was. "What's the matter?" He asked, scooting closer toward me.
I stood up from the couch and furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "Hiro... He wanted to tell me." I brushed my fingers through my hair and crossed my arms. "After he got off of the phone with you and he talked to me about it, he mentioned wanting to take a trip. This was the trip that he was referring to." I tilted my head to the side and sat back down on the couch, facing Yamato. "Yama, be honest. Did Hiro ever mention me?"
Yama sighed. "Sora, I don't know if he mentioned you. He might have mentioned your name once and I did not hear him well. I don't think that I could ever recall him mentioning you specifically." I cocked my eyebrow, signalling him to say more. "Well, if you want to know exactly about our conversations... He did mention that before he joined the band, he had to take care of something..."
I nodded my head. "That sounds like him," I said, releasing a chuckle. Hiro was always releasing the small bits before he would ever give the entire story. Hints and small details were the only thing that I got from him after being with him for all that time. That was the best part about him- the mystery that he left me with after every encounter. I could not help but wonder what empowered him to act the way that he did- so unually cold and distrustful, disguised by rugged charm. I cleared my throat and stood up, walking around. I walked into a hall, where a set of pictures were hung. I could see a few pictures of other digidestines, as a group and individually. I also saw some pictures of him. Most of his pictures were done in black and white, which complemented his smooth features. As I was looking, one picture caught my eye. It was a familiar picture. I could remember the very day that it was taken.
Early in the summer, before my mother had decided to move- once again- Yamato and I had hung out at his house. We were discussing music, bands on hiatus, break ups, and other disappointments in the music industries. I was reading an article that was telling the story of how one girl met the guy of her dreams, the drummer of a popular band that Yama and I admired. In the article, it mentioned that they were best friends before lovers. It surprised me as much as him when I kissed Yamato.
The awkward moment in between us did not last long. A moment or two. However, the tension was broken when I began laughing. Yamato began to chuckle as well. That was the last of the start of any sort of relationship with him that had ever happened or even brought up.
After the incident in his room, Yamato and I went to the coffee shop and hung out there. He ordered a simple latte and I got a vanilla bean frapppuccino. We were discussing how neither of us took enough pictures, but how we wanted to. Luckily, I had my camera. In that small coffee shop, we had an older lady take a picture of us smiling, and holding onto each other for dear life.
I had to admit that I had previous thoughts about the subject of "us". However, nothing serious had happened. We let the past be the past. But there- being in his house, being reminded of the day, with my anger flowint through my system... I didn't know anything.
"Are you okay?" I heard Yamato say as he snuck up behind me.
I turned to him and looked him in the eyes. His eyes, typically so blue and so clear- they were now stained with anguish. They were now a stormy blue. His orbs were now a greyish color- like the storm clouds on a rainy day. I wondered what he was so stressed about- I had not seen him like that before. His facial expression was full of emotion. A sign on his forehead read "trainwreck" as he stared me down. His figure was no longer strong and bold, but weak and fragile. He reminded me of a child that was lost.
I was not sure if it was the anger of the fact that I found out that while I was bouncing on the gentle bubbly clouds in love, my significant other was suffering pain and boredom, wanting nothing more than to escape my clutch. I should have known that though, considering the fact that he had done that to so many others.
"Yama..." I whispered, pulling him into a strong embrace. For years, Yama had been my friend through thick and thin, even in my moments of weakness. I wanted to be there for him and seeing the pain, hiding behind his eyes, I knew that all he needed now was companion- someone that he could count on through thick and thin.
Yamato pulled away and cocked an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" I bit my lip, not knowing what to do. He was so predictable.
I brushed my fingers through his hair and smiled. I moved my body in closer to him and looked up at him. I watched his mood change suddenly. It was then that I realized what I was doing. I could not go there again- not with him at least. "I... have to go..." I said, walking away from him. I waltzed toward the door and stared at the ground. "Can you take me back to Mimi's?" I asked, crossing my eyebrows.
Yamato followed me over to the door and decreased our distance between us majorly. He towered over me like the empire state building. He drew me in closer, wrapping his arms around me. "Not yet..." he whispered. It only took a second for us to transition back into the odd position that we were in years ago. Yamato kissed me. Right there, in front of the front door. It was the best kiss that I had ever had. At first, he was very rough with it, as if he was going to die an it would be the last moment alive. However, the kiss soon softened into something sweeter, something deeper with a more emotional hold.
I did not know what empowered me to do so, but I could not help but follow him into the trap as I deepened the kiss.
What am I doing? I thought to myself. I knew that I could not be there with him. Not if that was how our "friendship" was going to be. There were numerous reasons why I had to leave. Mainly the fact that he was in a band with my ex lover- the one that I never wanted anything to do with again.
I pulled away and opened the door. "Shit..." I said, walking out to his sleek silver mustang. Yamato followed behind me not long after. He looked at me with a shocked expression as he was headed out to the car. He was not expecting me to act that way, usually no one does. I knew he was expecting an explenation of some sort. He deserved it too. "Yama, I think that this was a bad idea..." I said, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
Yama stayed quiet as he was walking over to the car. He kept walking until he was about a foot away from me. "Look, Sora..." he started. I noticed that tone. He was about to give an apology... "I am sorry for trying anything on you. You are a good friend and I don't know what happened in there. I just got caught up in the moment."
I smiled, knowing that all of what he was telling me was lies. I could see through him like a transparent sheet. "It's okay, Yama. I understand about those moments." I smiled and bit my lip.
"Please, just don't go quite yet. I would hate for your first impression of me to be a pig," He said. Sheer honesty was painted across his face. I lived for moments like those- when the only thing before me is the open heart and love enough to give. There were hardly any moments like that between Hiro and I. I could remember when Hiro told me he loved me. It was right after a show. He was excited about being referred to a talent agence and we were sitting on the bed, getting ready for bed. He stared at me with those big dark eyes and smiled at me, one of those puppy dog smiles- not tainted by a chicanery manner. He told me that he loved me and that he was happy that he could have the chance to be with such a beautiful girl, inside and out. Moments like those were what I lived for.
I waited a little bit longer before I fully agreed. I liked making Yamato wait- he was always so alarmed when he was stressed. "Okay," I said, watching the feeling of relief rosy up his cheeks again. He had an adorable child like laughter when he was happy- during his moments of vulnerability. It was his technique for disguising his moments of weakness.
Yamato stopped his laughter and started thinking. "You know what?" he began. A sly smile slid on his face. His mood had suddenly changed. "I know this great place right around the corner from Mimi's house. I know you will love it!"
I cocked an eyebrow, rather distrustful with him. He had always been a sly character, able to influence someone's thinking. That was the best and worst part of him. During our digidestined days, Yamato was always the one in the group that- even though he seemed as if he was trying to go his own way- would eventually lead everyone into following him. He was the one that led people to believing his way. I knew that whatever he was referring to, it would be good. Yamato changed people's opinions. I shrugged my shoulders as a first response, though I knew what the outcome would be.
Yamato stared me down, with that innocent puppy dog look across his face. I was always curious about how he could be so seductive at times and yet so child- like at other moments. He was someone with many sides to him. He was similar to a rubik's cube. There were many sides to him and it would take a lot of perseverence to solve him. There was a time when I thought that I knew him and maybe I did know him back then. However, I did not know him now. As the times turned from our childhood to adulthood, we all changed. Though I would not claim to be an adult, I certainly did change.
Yamato grasped my hands in his and said, "Do you trust me?"
The trust card.
Yamato had not played the trust card often when we were younger. However, he did use the word trust. Being the child of love, I also had to trust- and he knew that. Which was why trust was so crucial in our relationship. Never before had I known someone that could build me up so high and crushed my dreams.
"Yama, you know that is no fair..." I said, twirling my hair around my index finger girlishly. I was not going to let him win- not quite yet. I wanted to let him sweat it out a little bit, just until I was satisfied.
Yamato released his hold and opened up my car door. "Trust me, there are a lot worse people for you to be with right now. Like Tai..." I chuckled, though that was not true at all because I truly loved Taichi, he was a great friend. But Yamato were good friends, though they bickered often, which made the joke funny to me. I could not imagine another set of male friends that were as close.
I got in the car, allowing Yamato to shut the door on me. When he got in the driver's seat, his phone rang. I looked over at him as he stared at his phone, in concern. "Who is it?" I asked, looking down at his phone. I knew that he would not be honest with me. Hearing Yamato tell me about Hiro was a stretch for him. I knew that he had a hard time just with that.
"Oh, it's no one," he said, putting his phone in the glove compartment between us. He was placing his phone as far away from him as possible- a sign of desprate measures.
"Who is it?" I demanded, staring Yamato straight in the eyes. Yama looked away at first, anywhere but my eyes.
"Sora... it is no one. Trust me, it does not matter who it is... Let's just go," Yamato begged, cracking an awkward smirk. He cracked a sweat, feeling uncomfortable. I could read it all over his face. I also took note of how he included the word "trust". It was a funny term, considering the fact that he had just lectured me about trust. It was hypocracy to the highest degree.
"Yama, I don't want to establish any sort of relationship that is composed of dishonesty or resistance. I want to be your friend so much, but I don't know how that can happen if we are not honest with each other. Please, Yama, be honest with me. Tell me who it is." I could not take any more small details and minor fragments of a story. From now on, I was going to demand the whole story, even if it killed me.
Yama exhaled. He rubbed his temples, a sheer sign that he was under great pressure. It was then that I realized exactly who it was and what that person wanted. "It was Hiro..." Yama said, opening up the glove compartment as his phone began ringing again.
I cleared my throat and crossed my arms. "Well," I started, unsure of what to say. I listened intently as Hiro called him for the third time. "It seems as though he really wants to talk to you. Hiro never likes to wait. I can tell you that out of all of the time that I have known him. He hates waiting- no patience. You better answer, Yama." I folded my hands in my lap and looked down at them. I knew that being friends with my former best friend/ my ex lover's friend was going to be difficult.
Yama sighed, messing with his phone. He did not answer Hiro's phone calls. However, only a few moments later Yamato looked up at me and said, "He wants me to come to the studio for some practice time."