To Mend A Broken Heart
Chapter 3: Goodnight and Goodbye
After a few minutes, Todd helped me to the bed, walked around to his side, crawled in and then wrapped his hands around my waist. Knowing that Todd was there made everything so much better but there was still something on my mind that prevented my eyes from ever closing. 'What was wrong? Why did just seeing Justin's hand make me cry?' He controlled my every thought, even behind bars. I thought about him all day, all night, and now, engaged to Todd, I thought about him even more. Is that normal? Why do I think about Justin more than Todd? He crushed me, ruined me, destroyed me, but I still think about him. My heart was broken and that will never change. But I can't fully trust, admire, or love Todd until that happens. But how do you mend a broken heart?
I guess I fell asleep because I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon. I put on my slippers and then sleepily walk downstairs.
"Hey sleepyhead." Todd said, kissing my forehead then holding onto my waist causing me to face him and place my forehead on his.
"Morning babe."
"Are you feeling better?"
"I guess…I didn't sleep well."
"Oh, well, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault babe."
"I know. I wish it could have been different."
"You're too sweet."
"Well, thank you." he said, kissing my nose. "What does it feel like being engaged?"
"It feels different."
"I like it."
"I like it too, don't take it that way. There's no other person I'd rather be sharing this moment with."
"Me either, Miles, me either." he then let go of my waist and continued, "You ready for breakfast?"
"Yes, I haven't had bacon in so long."
"Well then, sit down and prepare to have the best bacon ever."
Todd and I sat down for breakfast and went to watch T.V. on the couch. At 11, my dad still hadn't come down for breakfast and I was beginning to worry.
"Todd, do you know where my dad went?"
"Oh, he said something about looking for his new place around 7 this morning."
"What?"
"He's moving out Miles. He never told you?"
"No, why?"
"He's giving us this house for our wedding gift."
"You're kidding me."
"Nope, this is all ours."
"Why didn't he tell me?"
"I think it was supposed to be a surprise…so shh." he said, placing his finger in front of his mouth.
"Don't worry, I can keep a secret." I said, removing his hand and placing a light kiss on his lips, he quickly deepened the kiss and moved my legs to straddle his. Making out on my couch in my dad's house (technically) was usually against my ethics, but this felt so right, so perfect that I couldn't say no. "Todd," I said, coming up for air 5 minutes later.
"What?" he said, pushing my bangs out from in front of my face.
"We shouldn't be doing this…here."
"You're dad's not home."
"But, he could come home and I don't want him to get freaked out or anything. I know that he knows I'm engaged but he'd rather not think that I am."
"Ok, Miles." he said, picking me up and placing me back next to him. "Have you thought about a date?"
"For…"
"Miley!"
"Just kidding, before school starts, definitely."
"I agree. So in the summer?"
"Yeah…any date in particular you want?"
"I'd love August."
"That's too hot."
"September's not any better Miley."
"But, it's near fall. What about near the end of September?"
"School will have already started."
"Ok…I guess the end of August."
"That works for me."
"So, we have an approximate date now?"
"Yes we do gorgeous. You want to tell me now what picture you saw last night?"
"No."
"Miley…"
"Todd…you really don't know how hard this is for me, do you? You don't know what it felt like being touched, harmed, 5 days every week. You don't know what it felt like not being able to tell you, fearing for your life, you don't know the amount pain the cut he inflicted caused…"
"Yes, I do." he quietly replied.
"What did you just say?"
"Yes, I do Miley! Yes I do! Open your eyes; don't think that you were the only one affected. I spent longer then you did under his torture, wondering whether or not you were ok. Seeing you go to school everyday, knowing what would happen, knowing that your life depended on him touching you, knowing that he hurt you, and just seeing you deal with it and I couldn't say anything. And I know how much pain your cut inflicted because unlike you, I actually tried to say 'no.'"
"What are you talking about Todd?"
"This…" he then lifted up his pants leg revealing hundreds and hundreds of scars.
"He did that to you?"
"Every single time I refused, 223, 223, the number that drifts through my head every day. I wasn't the only one that went through this Miley, I'm not the only one that remembers those moments everyday of my life. Stop acting like you're the only one because so many people other than you were hurt!"
"Why…why did you say no?"
"Because I love you Miley, you weren't going to be killed, you weren't supposed to suffer. You know the days Justin told you 'I don't feel like it today.' That was me Miley, 80 of these cuts are for 8 days I said not to do it, because I saw the hurt in your eyes. The pain, completely unbearable but I dealt with it, for you, to save you Miley."
"I'm sorry…I didn't know."
"Yeah… and if you did know, you would have never acted like that?"
"Yes…"
"You're lying! I have had to live everyday for you, making sure you're ok, making sure everything is ok for you, making sure that no pain enters back into your life, but you live for you, not me, you make sure you're ok, make sure everything's ok for you. What about me Miley? What about me?"
"That's not true Todd…" I said, turning my head away so he wouldn't see the tear escape from my eye.
"Then what is the truth Miley?"
Turning back to him, I began to raise my voice, "The truth is Todd that I love you with all of my heart and that I never wanted you to be hurt, I never wanted to see you this way, and I never wanted any of this to happen. Since it's all happened, I can't feel Todd, I can't feel. I don't know what feelings or emotions are anymore. They are so foreign to me, that I have to relearn them. That's why I can't protect you, I don't know how to. I feel helpless, you are so amazing and I can't do anything for you. I'm sorry, ok, I'm sorry that Justin ruined the girl you fell in love with."
"You aren't ruined. You're just so different, like I don't know you."
"My heart is broken, Todd, it's broken. It doesn't function, it can't function. If you don't know me anymore, then why did you even propose?"
"It's not that I didn't want to. I've wanted to ask you since our first kiss. Maybe I shouldn't have, I just thought things might change."
"They aren't going to Todd; I don't know how to fix this. I can't fix this, IT WON'T LEAVE!" I screamed.
"Then maybe it was a mistake."
"What was a mistake?"
"Me proposing…"
"What are you saying?"
"Miley, until you figure out what you want, I can't deal with this. I'm causing myself more pain by staying here; I'm causing you more pain. I can't do this Miles."
"You're leaving?"
"Until you're truly ready…I can't…I can't marry you. You have to want this, you have to forget about Justin and you haven't. You still have so much anger towards him and our marriage can't be like this, he can't be in your life Miley. We have fallen apart. We can't have these fights every time you see his face, I can't know that there's another guy in your life."
"He's not, I…I love you, you can't leave. He's not in my life, you are."
"It doesn't matter. I still love you too; I just can't keep up with two people. It's tiring."
"I'll stop. I promise."
"Miley, it doesn't work that way. I'll be back in a week, don't call or try to come find me. I will be back here in exactly a week. We aren't broken up; just see what life is like without me for a week, you'll be fine. Prove to yourself that you don't need me, or anyone else for that matter to hold you up. You are the strongest woman I know, and you need to prove that to yourself again. I'll see you in a week Miles." he said, standing up, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then walked towards the door. "I love you Miley, goodnight and goodbye."
(A/N): So, there are the first three chapters. Like always, the next set should be up in 1-2 days depending on total # of views/reviews. Hope you enjoyed and Thanks!