It had been a nearly a month since he'd seen the Cetra. A week in which he had gathered information, obsessed planned and stepped on Turk toes, until he was finally called into President Shinra's office and told to stay out of Turk jurisdiction. Sephiroth couldn't disobey a direct order from the President, so he pulled all his men out of the Sector 5 slums. A fucking shame, he thought, because with enough man power and his formidable interrogation skills, finding the girl would have been easy.
But nothing was stopping him from being in Sector 5 in his down time. Early mornings, nights and any other time in between that he could get away, found him skulking around, asking questions and generally terrifying the citizenry. All he'd gotten was another visit with the President and a warning to stay out of it.
But he couldn't let it go. He simply didn't understand how one little girl could be so hard to find and capture. It was driving him crazy.
Giving up was not an option. It wasn't even in his dictionary but he'd covered every inch of Midgar and no one had seen the flower girl. Sephiroth knew that had to be a lie, but what would cause the scum of Midgar to stand together behalf of one girl.
Day after day he made frequent trips to Sector 5, haunting all the places the Turks had listed her being spotted. He came at different times, sometimes early in the morning, sometimes midday or afternoon and sometimes at dusk or after dark.
Sephiroth never failed at anything he set his mind to and for every day that passed he became more determined. He would find her.
There were signs that she was still in the area. Sometimes it was her scent, a brief whiff caught in the breeze and then gone. At these times he would force himself into complete calmness and focus, gathering all his senses, and instincts that had never failed him before. Still she remained out of his reach.
He refused to give up.
It was long after dark and he had taken to standing quietly in a deep shadow cast by a building. He had stood unmoving for so long that the people-shy alley cats had taken him for architecture. Rodents scurried over his steel toed boots unafraid.
He was tired from too many nights gone with too little sleep. From the over work that his job demanded and from his obsessive thoughts of capturing the Cetra. He had just decided to give up for the night, it was late and the only people about were the prostitutes and the junkies. The flower girl would be someplace safe right now, he reasoned, tucked up in bed fast asleep. And he had an early morning meeting and a mountain of paperwork that he had allowed to pile up. And of course Hojo, demanding his presence for a psyche evaluation, an evaluation he wasn't very confident that he would pass in the state he was in.
Sighing, he pushed off from the wall when a sweet voice stopped him cold.
"Lovely night, isn't it?"
Blinking he looked down at his side and there she was, wearing a pink dress and a pink bow in her hair, her green eyes dark in the dim lighting.
"Cetra. I have been looking for you."
"I know.. did you want another flower, hmm?" She smiled up at him.
"No." He said dryly. "I want you to come with me."
"Where to?"
"Shinra." He growled feeling all out of patience. "Where do you think?"
"Oh that again." She said. "No thank you. I prefer to remain here."
He laughed at her innocence. "I wasn't offering you a choice."
She shrugged at his words. "Now if you wanted something to drink, I could help you there. I know of a quiet little tea shop, she said stepping away from the wall and started to walk past him.
"No you don't. Come back here." He said grabbing her by the arm and spinning her around to face him,
-and the instant he looked into her eyes he was plunged into a nightmare.
Sephiroth was transported into a place made up of ever deepening irridecent shades of green. He floated in it. It surrounded him. He knew without knowing how that he was in the Lifestream. He felt the continuity of time and space all around him and he was alone in it. He was an infinitely tiny speck of matter, growing smaller and smaller as the space around him increased until he was swallowed up in it and was lost.
It was so cold that it took his breath away. He didn't dare breathe. Breathing would bring that cold within him and then his insides would freeze. His heart would shatter.
His lungs were bursting for air - he gasped- and the pain became everything he knew, increasing every second until he was sure he would go mad with it. He wished for death, begged for it and knew that it would never come. Never ever...
Sephiroth found himself on his knees his hands grasping his head, choking on air that was suddenly there. He breathed rapidly and deeply, the pain was gone and he was back in the alley. He was kneeing in a puddle of filthy water that soaked through the material of his pants. He looked around him, expecting to be alone and found himself staring up into the concerned eyes of the flower girl.
"Are you OK?" She asked, kneeling down beside him. "I am so sorry, Sephiroth. I didn't know that was going to happen."
He was utterly unnerved and unable to stop her as her hands brushed his hair from his face.
"I never wanted to hurt you." She said.
"Huh, you hurt me? Don't make me laugh." He gasped shaking from the torment that he'd just lived through. It had been so cold...he'd been so alone.
It had felt so real.
"...but you have been hurt." She said stroking at his face, brushing his hair from his eyes and he found himself leaning into her touch. Her eyes were so kind. They reached into his soul and comforted him.
"...hurt for so long that you don't know how to feel good." She murmured, her voice low and soothing, just for him.
He made to pull away, but her hands restrained him, pulled his face into the crook of her neck. He breathed in her scent, magnified and made intimate with her body heat. He had never been so physically close to another person. He felt powerless as she stroked his hair, crooning into his ear. Her breath warm on his skin.
"You don't have to be alone anymore." She whispered and he began to tremble uncontrollably. She was like a lifeline that he had never known he'd needed. A place of safety and warmth and he never wanted to let her go.
-but, yet at the same time it was terrifying. Her words, her actions, everything about her was making him feel like he was losing control. Was making him feel weak and vulnerable.
"Don't touch me." He forced himself to say, pushing away from her suddenly and getting to his feet.
"Your crazy." He gasped, wincing at how his voice sounded so shaky and weak. "I am Sephiroth. I am General of SOLDIER, the second most powerful member of Shinra, of the Planet. No one can defeat ME."
"I don't deny that." She said sadly, also rising. "You have it in you to bring the Planet to her knees. But in some ways you aren't strong at all."
At his glowering, angry expression, she rushed to smooth over her words. She hadn't meant to be harsh, only truthful. " Your only human Sephiroth and humans are vulnerable, if you deny yourself that you will become brittle and you will break."
She reached out a hand to him and he backed away. "Or are you already broken?"
"Stay back." He warned, shuddering at her words. It was like he was seeing her for the first time. She wasn't a weak little girl. In her own unexpected way she was stronger than any SOLDIER. And though she dripped with sunshine and innocence she was the fiercest opponent he had ever encountered and he had gravely underestimated her.
She had... gotten into his mind, somehow... and influenced his feelings. Made him feel things that he had no right to feel. Longings that he had long ago killed and buried and he didn't want any of them resurrected.
He was better off being alone. Safer.
"Sephiroth. Let me help you."
"No. Just don't." He said, taking a step back. He took a deep, shaky breathe to steady his shattered nerves. He couldn't even begin to figure out what had just happened. She stood motionless before him with that kind, forgiving look in her eyes that somehow ripped him apart and left him feeling lost.
"I've changed my mind." He said making a show of straightening his coat, tossing his hair over his shoulder. He stood tall, his back straight, his chin up and looked down on her. "Stay, go- do what ever you want, Cetra. I wont bother you again."
"Sephiroth." She started but he turned on his heel and walked away quickly, turning the corner before he broke into an all out run for his bike. Kicking it to life, its roar shattered the silence of the night and he raced back to headquarters. To the sacred solitude of his apartment.
He refused to let himself think.
He hadn't just run away from a girl.
She hadn't brought him to his knees.
None of it had happened.
None of it.