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Chapter Four: Lunch

Mac is now realizing that something's up. But I'm surprised he noticed. Maybe it's because we argue more. Maybe it's because I don't talk as much anymore or that I don't show up for work as much as I should. But I'm glad he's finally recognizing me again, he needs to know I don't like him together with Peyton.

Lindsay, on the other hand, has done nothing but notice me. She agrees that Mac's relationship with Peyton won't last long, since they both live in a different country. But she keeps telling me to go talk to Mac and tell him how I feel. That's where I disagree with her. I can't tell Mac I think he doesn't deserve to be with Peyton.

"I just can't stand Peyton. With her in Mac's life, it's like he's completely forgotten about me, his best friend. And now, every time we try to talk, we argue. I want to scream out to him that I love him, but the problem is he couldn't love me back."

I'm sure Lindsay's heard enough of my complaints, my problems, and my worries. But she never admits it or shows that she has heard enough of Mac and Peyton. She seems to understand what I'm going through. And I couldn't thank her enough for that.

"He hasn't forgotten about you, Stel," Lindsay reassures me. "I just think talking to him, telling him how you feel will make things better. Maybe you two could go out to lunch, just like you guys used to do. And don't even bring up Peyton, think of it as two friends enjoying lunch."

Just as Lindsay finished her sentence, Danny came to our table, bringing our coffees. Lindsay thanks Danny, while I just nod my thanks. Danny also agrees with Lindsay—the two were dating, it made sense why he would agree with her—and he's trying to help me through this tough time. I'm thankful for both of their help, I don't know what I'd do if I had to face this alone.

"I suppose going to lunch with him wouldn't be a bad idea," I say, coming to my decision. "We'll talk, just like old times."

Lindsay smiles at this. She then says, "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

A few days after Danny, Lindsay, and I talked at the coffee shop, I finally find my voice and go to Mac's office to ask him if he'd like to go out to lunch. I've tried hard not to argue with him, and my tries have proven well. I think talking to him will be no problem, but when I walk into his office, I freeze up, like I'm scared he's going to yell at me for being there and send me out. It's a weird feeling, especially when I've walked in his office many times before. But that had been before Peyton.

"Mac?" I call softly.

He looks up at me from his desk.

I walk slowly towards his desk, not meeting his gaze. "I was wondering if I could ask you something."

"Go ahead," he says, his voice showing no anger.

I stop walking just as I reach his desk. "You want to go to lunch?"

"Sure," he replies. "Where would you like to go?"

I try to hide my surprise as I think of the first restaurant that comes to mind. "How about Sbarro?"

Mac nods and he volunteers to drive us there. Once we had arrived at the restaurant and ordered our food, we began to talk, and surprisingly, I didn't freeze up like I had back in Mac's office. "I love the pizzas they make here," I tell Mac, taking a bite of my pizza.

"I'm surprised," Mac says.

I look up at him with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"Well, I didn't think you'd want to eat here. And you also passed up on the Greek salad."

I shrug. "I like the pizza better. And I thought it would be nice coming to a pizza place, other than going out to a coffee shop or something."

We're both quiet for a while, as we eat our pizzas. Mac starts the conversation, but what he says is not what I expected to hear. "This isn't a date, if that's what you were thinking."

My mouth almost drops open. I shake away my shock as I say, "No, that wasn't what I was thinking at all. I just thought it would be nice for two friends to go out for lunch."

"Two friends of the opposite gender going out for lunch, it seems like a date to me, Stella."

"We used to go out to lunch all the time," I protest. "What's changed now?"

"Your feelings," he answers, "for me. You love me, but I don't."

I bit my lip. "I don't love you," I managed to say. "I like you as a friend. But I guess you can't even spend time with your best friend anymore. And because of that, you've lost your friend." I stand from my seat, glare at Mac for a moment, and then leave the restaurant. If Mac wants to end our friendship, then so be it.

You love me, but I don't. How can you say that Mac? How come you can't realize that we'd be much better off together?