Thanks for the reviews! I greatly appreciate it! And also, I mention the color of Stella's eyes in this chapter, but I wasn't sure if they were green or blue. I said they were blue, but if they're not that color, I'm sorry for the mistake.
Chapter Five: Friends
It was hard to get through the rest of work that day. But when the day finally came to an end, I was glad to get away from the crime lab and Mac. As I enter my apartment, I hurry to make some coffee and sit down at my desk. I stare down at the pen in my hands and begin to write.
Dear Mac,
You were right. My feelings have changed for you. I went from liking you as my friend to loving you. And I want to be with you forever. I understand you love Peyton and want to be with her, I'm glad that you're happy with her. I just think you should consider your friend's feelings as well, you knew me longer than Peyton. I love you, Mac. Nothing will change that. But can we still be friends?
Sincerely,
Your friend,
Stella
A tear falls from my face and down onto the letter. I've written many letters to Mac, some full of hate, others expressing my feelings. I wouldn't let him see my previous letters; I've already told myself that. But he would get this letter. It was his decision if he wanted to reply back.
I take a sip of my coffee and then walk around my apartment. I am suddenly reminded of the night when Frankie attacked me in my home, and I get unsteady for a moment and collapse onto my bed, crying. I sit up, wiping away my tears, and take a deep breath. Mac was there for me during the time Frankie attacked me, why couldn't he be here now?
I watch TV for a while, but I can't seem to focus on listening to the late night talk show hosts. I remember Claire, Mac's wife, for some reason. I remembered how he had described her; she had had curly brown hair and blue eyes. I look in the mirror, and I feel as if I resemble her, for I, too, have curly brown hair and blue eyes. I wonder sometimes if Mac ever sees Claire when he looks at me.
I've kissed him before. But I haven't ever considered the reason why I kissed him. He didn't question it, I didn't even think about it when it happened. It just happened. And neither of us felt anything. If I had kissed him now, I would have felt love for him and he would have pushed me away.
"I love you," I mumble. "Why can't you love me back?"
Only the voice of the talk show host answers me. He makes some joke, the audience laughs, ha, ha. Even if his joke was funny, I'm not in the mood to laugh. My life has been turned upside down, how can I just laugh? It won't make my hurt go away; nothing could ever make it go away.
I grab my cell phone off the kitchen table and text Mac, saying, "Hi." I don't think he'll answer back, but what the heck, it was worth the try. When I go to bed, I place the cell phone on the bedside table.
12:30am: "Hi. What's up?"
I open my eyes and reach for the phone. It's a surprise he answered back, especially after what happened today. "R u mad at me?"
"No."
"I'm sorry about today."
"It's okay. Stella, I don't want to lose my best friend."
I smile. "Me neither."
"Friends?"
I nod, even though he can't see me. I reply, "Friends."