How to Annoy Jack Sparrow 2
I am having a writer's block on all of my other stories, and I wanted to put up another chapter of these things. These may not be as funny as the first because I already used all of my best ideas in that chapter. I hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no matter how much I beg.
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1. Whenever he walks by you, gasp and fall over. Recover a few seconds later and trip him.
2. Switch his rum with tea because "he needs to start behaving more like Cutler."
3. Lecture him on all the evils of alcohol and it's effects on the body. When he argues, continue with the lecture and then stop and shake your head, saying, "There really is no way to argue with a child."
4. Do the opposite of anything he tells you to do.
5. Use his lines against him. Especially "not all treasure is silver and gold, mate," and "curiosity…"
6. Gag when he walks into the room. Hold your nose until he leaves, and let out a relieved sigh when he does.
7. Throw a dictionary at him every time he says savvy. When he asks why you did that, reply, "I need you to look up the definition of the word 'savvy.' I'm not sure it's real."
8. Use his kohl to draw a black spot on his hand while he sleeps.
9. Ask him why he wears so much eyeliner.
10. Bother him until he asks you what you want. Tell him that you want a crossbow. Smile sweetly, letting all your teeth show simply for effect.
11. Cuddle his rum bottle and sing depressing songs when he's drunk.
12. Talk about Cutler Beckett all the time. Whenever you say his name, sigh and bat your eyes adoringly.
13. Tie all of the ropes on the ship into nooses.
14. Steal his food and his rum. Refuse to give it back until he asks to marry you. When he asks (he will ask. You have his rum) say no anyway.
15. Let him find you snogging the ship. When he questions you about it say, "Well, this is my Pearl too! Don't be so selfish, we can share."
16. When he's drunk, put him in a wedding dress. Do this in front of Scarlett and Giselle.
17. Glomp him whenever he says 'curiosity', 'immortal', or 'opportune moment', depending on which movie it is.
18. Use really big words that only you and various scientists would understand around him, and call him a necrophobe behind his back. (necrophobia is a pathological fear of death or dead things)
19. 'Accidentally' set fire to his hat. do this while the hat is still on his head.
20. Carve 'I love Will Turner and that's okay!" all over his cabin walls and his bed. Look at him sympathetically and say, "You do know that there is therapy for this kind of thing… right?"
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Yes, I know that there were only 20 ways to annoy Jack, but I don't have many good ideas. Please come back and review; it makes me feel loved.
Ta