Terribly sorry for the wait. I've been looking madly around for a job. I actually had one for a couple of days, you know, working at a bagel shop/deli. Wasn't working out. Let's just say that I wasn't cut out for the food industry. And people are just rude. -.- And so here we continue with our story.

Chapter 5

Mello, Near, and L sat at the kitchen table with nothing but a piece of lined paper and a pen in the center. All staring at the paper. Near twirled his hair, with his McFluffin' hat on his lap. Mello tapped his foot. L bit his thumb. Then, in almost slow motion, Near lifted his hand up gently and picked up the paper and pen. Mello's mouth dropped.

"No way!" he screamed. "I wanted to be the first one with an idea!"

"Now, now, Mello," said L. "Don't get jealous because he was first."

"But I had an idea!" replied Mello, getting to his feet. "I wanted to be the first one!"

"Mello acts very childish when it comes to things like this," said Near, as he wrote on the paper. "He doesn't like the fact that he always comes in second when competing with me."

Mello clenched his fist. "You're asking to get hit in the face."

"You may go ahead and grab your purse and give me a good whack just like that woman did."

"Children, please don't fight," said L, pulling at his lower lip. "We need everyone to cooperate to come up with ideas to fix this problem of ours. That is why we all decided to write our ideas down on paper and discuss."

"Well, L, I would love to right down my idea--" Mello bent down next to Near and put his nose on his cheek. "--but someone likes to write at the speed of a friggen snail!"

Just as quietly as he picked the paper up, Near put the paper down. Mello grabbed the pen out of the boy's hand. He quickly scribbled down something underneath the table and handed the paper and pen to L. When the detective was done, he put the paper back in the middle of the table with the pen on top. Everyone leaned in to see what was written:

1. Purchase a new laptop

2. Steal a laptop that looks the same as Light's

3. Find someone who can repair it

"All these ideas are plain common sense," muttered Mello. "We didn't even need to brain storm them, even someone as stupid as Light could think up ideas like these ones."

"But they are still ideas," said L. He pulled out a small Hershey's Kiss out from his pants pocket. He popped it into his mouth with Mello's greedy hand reaching out for it. "They were still worth writing down. All these ideas hold value to the situation. And now we won't forget our ideas." L looked right at Mello's face. "Mello."

Mello calmed himself down from his chocolate obsession. He sat down fully in his seat.

"Yes?"

"I do not approve of your idea of stealing."

Mello scrunched up his hair. "But you just said that all the ideas held value!"

"Near."

Near remained silent.

"You came up with a good idea, but I'm afraid that I do not show my face to the public, so I can not purchase a new laptop. Nor can I call up Watari to go and take care of it because then Light-kun will know what had happened."

"YOU JUST FUCKING SAID THAT NEAR HAD A GOOD IDEA AND NOT ME?! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

L began picking hair off his pants. "With that being said, we will proceed with my idea first. And then with Near's, since I believe I can trust you with my money, so you can purchase a new one. Mello, I will not approve of your idea, so we will not even try your's out."

Mello stood up again. He kicked his chair, sending it into the wall. Near stared at the poor chair, knowing that its three legs would not be able to withstand any human weight on it. Its other leg had flown above L's head and into the sink. Mello pointed at L.

"So even you think that Near is better than me?" he asked.

"I did not say that," said L. "I said that Near's idea was a little more humane and that I did not accept your's." He turned his head to the sink. "And look what you did to the chair. Light-kun will surely be upset."

"Light-kun this, Light-kun that, is Light-kun all you think about?!" screamed Mello, stomping his feet.

He began stomping all about the room, throwing things on to the floor. Pots went flying, knives got stuck into the walls. Near retreated into the living room, where he sat on the couch, put his hat back on his head, and surrounded himself with pillows. Mello opened one of the drawers and picked up a silver spoon. He flung it at L, who skillfully ducked.

"AND YOU TRUST NEAR WITH YOUR MONEY?! WHAT ABOUT ME?! YOU CAN TRUST ME!"

"Mello, you're acting like a disturbed drunk." L said calmly, hiding himself under the table.

"Why do you trust Near more than me?!" shouted Mello, chucking another spoon at L's head. Again he dodged. "Why do you like Near more than me?!"

"I hold both you and Near in equal distance to my heart, but at the moment, you are acting like a three year old having a tantrum over a broken toy."

"It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake, if the way is hazy! You gotta do the cooking by the book. You know you can't be lazy…"

Mello stopped throwing things when he heard the ringtone. L pulled his phone out of his pocket and sighed to see who it was.

"Well?" asked Mello, breathing heavily. "Why won't you answer it?"

"It's Charlotte."

Mello walked up to the table and bent over. Grabbing the phone, he flipped it opened and held it inches away from his lips.

"Charlotte, L can't talk right now because he's too busy with me."

He shut the phone. L shook his head.

"Do you realize what you made it sound like I was doing with you?" he asked.

Mellow grabbed L's shirt and pulled him closer. "Do you want me to please you, L?"

"I do not understand what you mean."

"I can fix the laptop, L. You don't need anyone else to fix it. You don't need Near. You just need me."

At that, Mello let go of L's shirt. L watched his legs proceed out of the kitchen and into the other room. He popped his head out from underneath the table. He saw Near barricaded by pillows and waved at him. Near waved back, twirling his hair wildly with his other hand. He put an extra pillow on top of his head and tried to cocoon himself.

Since he felt safe, L got out from under the table and sat back down. With his hands, he communicated with Near using sign language.

Does Mello always act like this?

No, but something tells me you somehow pushed his big, red button.

"HERE WE GO!"

Mello came back into the kitchen holding Light's laptop. He put it down on the table and went back out. L continued to speak to Near.

Where did Mello go to?

He went into the first room on the left in the hallway.

That's Light-kun's work shop. He builds bird houses in there.

Why would Mello want to go in there?

I'm not sure.

Mello stomped back into the kitchen, holding something behind his back. Near's eyes widened and he sunk into his pillow pile. He walked up to the laptop, smiling at L. L stuck his thumb up to his lip.

"Mello, what are you going to do?" he asked.

"I'm going to do your idea," chuckled Mello. He tried to contain himself, but it was hard. "I'm going to prove to you that I can be as great as Near."

He pulled out whatever was behind his back. It was a hammer. He lifted it up above his head and began laughing maniacally. The hammer came down with a smash on the laptop's keyboard.

"THIS IS HOW YOU FIX THINGS ON RUSSIAN SPACESHIP!" Mello shouted as he continued smashing the laptop with the hammer.

Little buttons with letters and numbers sprang out from the laptop. He took a swing at the screen, completely breaking it and dislocating it from its hinges. After that, he hit its mouse pad until he slowly came to a stop, and his laughing settled down. L had stuffed his entire hand into his mouth, looking at the thing that used to be a laptop.

The blonde saw what he did. And he laughed a bit more. He tossed the hammer, it hitting the fridge. Near came into the kitchen, holding a pillow over his head. After taking just one look at the metal all over the place, he picked up the list.

"Since this laptop can no longer be repaired, may I suggest that we go along with my idea?"

L slowly nodded his head. Mello, still breathing heavily, wiped the sweat that was trickling down from his forehead. He walked out of his room. The entire apartment was silent until Near and L heard the sound of a faucet being turned on. L took his hand out of his mouth.

"N-Near?" asked L, trying to keep a steady voice. "I w-would like it if you made sure that M-Mello didn't d-drown himself."

"Of course, L." said Near. Following his orders, he left the kitchen.

L looked at the bottom half of the laptop. All of its keys had been smashed off by Mello and were all laying on the floor. He got down and started picking up a couple of pieces. When he was satisfied with the amount that he had, he mixed them up to create a sentence on top of the area where the laptop's keyboard was supposed to be.

It read : I HATE YOU.

So, what Mello had said while he was busy acting like someone from Super Smash Brother's with his crazy hammer was actually from the 80's movie "Armageddon". I never saw the movie, but from what I heard, while a group of people were up on spaceship, the computer wasn't working. And there was this Russian scientist that kept on saying that he could fix it, but the Americans wouldn't let him near the computer. Finally, the Russian moved everyone away from the computer, pulled out this random hammer and started smashing the computer screaming "THIS IS HOW YOU FIX THINGS ON RUSSIAN SPACESHIP!" And miraculously the computer started working. But that is not the case here.

You know, I think in the next chapter I'm going to introduce yet another character...heh heh heh...